The Fisher King Page #21

PARRY:

Uh....

HE doesn't see any. HE looks to ANNE, who shakes her head.

.....Uh..we seem to be all out of

Ethel Merman.

LYDIA:

What a gyp.

PARRY:

Yeah.

JACK nudges ANNE to do something.

ANNE:

You know, I think I..I ordered some

just the other day. They'll be in soon.

LYDIA:

Well, I guess I'll come back then.

JACK:

Here's your card.

LYDIA walks back to the counter. As JACK hands her the card, she

notices ANNE'S painted star fingernails.

LYDIA:

I like your nails.

ANNE:

Thank you.

LYDIA:

Where did you get them done?

ANNE:

Ah...I do them myself. I used to

work in a beauty parlor.

LYDIA keeps staring at them.

LYDIA:

(without much feeling)

I like the stars.

JACK gets an idea.

JACK:

You know, Anne does other people too.

Sort of a sideline.....

ANNE is surprised to hear this.

...If you want, she could do your nails.

LYDIA:

How much?

JACK:

Well, since you're a member, we could...

ANNE:

(interrupts)

Twenty dollars.

LYDIA considers the offer. PARRY waits for the outcome.

LYDIA:

O.K...twenty dollars...When can you...

JACK:

Tonight! How's tonight?

LYDIA thinks. ANNE is ready to kill JACK. PARRY smiles hopefully.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - THAT EVENING.

JACK searches frantically through a closet. ANNE and PARRY sit

opposite each other at the table, having coffee. ANNE doesn't

quite know how to take PARRY, who smiles as if he were a child,

grateful and excited that he was allowed to sit with the adults.

ANNE:

(to JACK O.C.)

Getting your nails done is one thing

but going to dinner with a bunch

of strangers and HIM...She didn't

even look at him.

JACK (O.C.)

We'll make it very casual...

...not like a date or anything.

I just have to find something

he'll look good in.

ANNE looks at PARRY as if this were an impossibility. PARRY

smiles back - he likes ANNE.

ANNE:

I don't know. I mean, I've gone

out with some bums in my time,

but they were gorgeous. It's the

only reason to go out with a bum.

JACK (O.C.)

Well, she's no Grace Kelly.

ANNE:

That's true. That outfit she wore!

She looked like a centerpiece.

PARRY:

This coffee's delicious.

And you have a lovely home.

ANNE:

Jack, he's talking to me.

JACK (O.C.)

Well talk back. He won't bite you.

ANNE:

(cool and polite)

Thank you very much.

PARRY:

(enjoying the conversation)

Your welcome. You know, a beautiful

woman like yourself - your own

business - I'm surprised some guy doesn't

snatch you up for his own.

ANNE:

(looking in JACK'S direction,

but replying to PARRY)

YOU'RE SURPRISED!...

(to PARRY)

But I guess I just never met the

right guy. Whatta gonna do?

PARRY:

I'm shocked. With a child bearing body

like yours...

(ANNE doesn't know how to take that)

...Why a man would have to be out of his mind!

ANNE:

Most men are.

PARRY:

Why this is outrageous!....

PARRY, getting overly heated, slams down his fork. ANNE jumps.

....A woman of your value going to waste

before my eyes....

(rising intensity)

Come on! I'm yours! Let's go!

ANNE:

(nervous)

Go where?

PARRY:

(clears the table with one move)

Come on - let us go to that place

of splendor in the grass.

HE starts to unzip his pants.

ANNE:

JACK!

Climbing over the table to her, he seranades, to the tune of

"HAVIN MY BABY"...

PARRY:

HOLDIN MY PENIS...

WHAT A LOVELY WAY OF SAYIN HOW

MUCH YA LIKE ME...

ANNE:

WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR MIND!

JACK enters...

PARRY:

HOLDIN MY PENIS...

JACK:

PARRY! Close your pants...

PARRY stops singing and gets off the table. HE bows with a

courtly flourish, having given ANNE exactly what she expected

from a crazy bum.

PARRY:

(kidding)

You sure now?

ANNE looks at him like she's going to belt him.

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