The Five Pennies Page #4

- Absolutely.

We'll have

a little golden-haired corny girl.

And a corny little redheaded boy.

- Loring.

- What?

- I went to the doctor the other day.

- Yeah?

And he has a rabbit

that says I'm three months corny.

Oh, that's sweet because... What?

Well, do you mind? I mean...

I mean, a rabbit knowing all about us

and everything?

No, I don't mind. Honey, I...

No, if it's got to be, it's great...

but should you be

dancing like this, baby?

Oh, I feel fine.

I know, but maybe you ought to

lie down. Slow down, honey.

No, I feel fine.

Maybe you ought to

take some mineral oil...

- or something, huh?

- No.

- How do we get you off the floor.

- Everybody, change partners!

I feel fine.

How can you feel fine

when I'm nauseous?

Look, I'll get you off the floor.

- We'll find a place for you to sit.

- No, Loring. Honestly, no.

Hey, look...

Play a waltz! Minuet! Stop the music!

Bobbie! Bobbie,

tell him about the rabbit!

Put her down!

Stop it!

Oh, Loring.

Oh, Loring, don't be silly.

I'm all right. Put me down.

- I've got to sing the next number.

- Well, you're fired, both of you.

Does she really look like me?

What are you crying about?

I'm the one who has to go back...

to the Canada Dry Mounties.

We've been waiting for you, Mr. Nichols.

How's my little baby?

- How are you?

- Did you see the baby?

Yes, but I still love you.

Everything is gonna be fine, honey.

I'm gonna find us a little apartment

in Brooklyn, and...

- In Brooklyn?

- Yeah.

- What for?

- To raise our daughter.

That's the best climate for daughters.

Yeah, but what about fathers?

You're supposed to open...

- in Pittsburgh on Friday.

- I know. I know.

Will you stop being concerned about it?

It's time I settled down.

I'm gonna open right here.

Red Nichols and his One Penny.

I got you something. It's kind of cute.

I caught him and had him stuffed.

That'll teach him

to shoot his big mouth off.

- No, Loring.

- What?

No, I'm not gonna let the baby

change our lives.

- The baby's not gonna change anything.

- You've wanted this for so long...

- and worked so hard for it.

- I know, sweetheart...

As soon as the baby's strong enough,

we'll join you on that bus.

You can't afford to

give up the band now.

You've got another mouth to feed.

- I thought you were gonna feed it.

- I am, and I'll be very happy doing it.

And I want you to do

what you'll be happy doing.

I'm happy doing what I'm doing.

Not barking

for the Clicquot Club Eskimos.

I know, but that isn't too bad, honey.

I was...

- Loring.

- What?

Deep down,

what do you really wanna do?

Have I told you how wonderful you are?

Not lately.

Loring. Loring, stop it!

How do you expect Dorothy to sleep

with that?

How do you expect

us to sleep with that?

Well, honey, it's a lullaby. I wrote it.

It's a lullaby called Lullaby in Ragtime.

I wrote it for the baby, too, didn't I?

I know it's a lullaby. You know

it's a lullaby. But the baby doesn't.

Stop making it sound like

The Anvil Chorus.

Fellows, you heard what the lady said,

didn't you?

Let's play it pianininimissimo

and andanterini.

In case any of you

have had any musical training...

you know what that means.

What does it mean?

Softly.

Won't you play the music

so the cradle can rock

to a lullaby in ragtime

Sleepy hands are creeping

to the end of the clock

play a lullaby in ragtime

You can tell the sandman is on his way

by the way

that they play

As still as the trill of a thrush

in a twilight hush

So you can hear

the rhythm of the ripples

on the side of the boat

as you sail away to dreamland

High above the moon

you hear a silvery note

as the sandman takes your hand

So rock-a-by, my baby

don't you cry, my baby

sleepy-time is nigh

Won't you rock me

to a ragtime lullaby

Won't you play the music

so the cradle can rock

Goodnight

to a lullaby in ragtime

time to call it a day

Sleepy hands are creeping

to the end of the clock

Sleep tight

play a lullaby in ragtime

dream your troubles away

You can tell the sandman is on his way

Goodnight

by the way that they play

in spite of any sorrow

as still as the trill of a thrush

There's a brand-new day

in a twilight hush

on its way tomorrow

So you can hear

the rhythm of the ripples

on the side of the boat

Someday

as you sail away to dreamland

all your dreams will come true

High above the moon

you hear a silvery note

Some way

as the sandman takes your hand

for me and you

So rock-a-by, my baby

So close

don't you cry, my baby

your eyes

sleepy time is nigh

and dream of it, my darling

Won't you rock me

Till then, goodnight

to a ragtime lullaby

goodnight, sleep tight

How do you like this?

With all this racket, now she's asleep.

Keep her that way, honey.

Good night, boys.

I blow it through here

And the music goes down and around

And it comes out here

- Here?

- No, there.

- Oh, there.

- Yes, dear.

I push the first valve down

- Up?

- No, down.

The music goes down and around

And it comes out here

Here?

Now, let's not

go through that again, honey.

I push the middle valve down

The music goes down and around

Below, below, below, didlio

Listen to the jazz come out

I push the other valve down

The music goes round and round

And it comes out here

- Where?

- Here.

- There?

- No...

- There?

- No, there.

- Oh, there.

- Yes, dear. That's it.

Very good. Let's take it from where the

kid comes in again. She was wonderful.

- Oh, hello, honey.

- Hi.

Hi.

What's this supposed to be,

a rehearsal?

Well, kind of a... Well, yes.

It is a rehearsal because...

I got a great idea, honey, a great idea.

You know the early show?

Well, Dorothy and I...

It's a terrible idea. What do you think?

I think it'd be a great idea

if we got her off the road. Don't you?

Yeah, I... It'd be a great idea.

Why didn't I think of that?

Well, you weren't in show business

very long, were you?

That's all right, honey.

You can be a bandleader.

Here. Have an all-girls band, all right?

Okay, new leader, boys. Here we go.

One, two!

Let's go home.

You fellows smoking old socks

or something?

There's so much smoke in here,

it looks like...

the San Francisco fire all over again.

Hey, Tony,

did you get that contract set already?

- Of course.

- Did you?

- Another solid 10 months on the road.

- 10 months?

- That's a lot of loot.

- Yeah, for him.

You know, I should have made you

my road manager a long time ago.

- You never could play the sax anyway.

- What do you mean?

He handles those bookers

like they were blondes.

One of them is.

We'll have to take on a couple of

side men. Make them feel...

- like they're getting their money's worth.

- That's easily done.

- Artie Shaw's available. So is Goodman.

- I'm out.

- I don't think I'm in, either, boys.

- Four aces.

- Are you kidding?

- Glenn Miller, boy card-genius.

If he makes any more money

playing cards...

he's gonna start a band of his own.

- Yeah, he's just the type, too.

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