The Flaws of My Dreams

Chapter one:
The Boy, The Day Before

She is the type of person who acts happy on the outside but is crying on the inside. She is Olive. A sweet blonde girl with dark blue eyes like the depths of the ocean. Her hair shines in the sun with golden flakes throughout it. They reflect at you where you can not look too long or your eyes will hurt; that's how pretty she is. As she is walking down the train tracks she is thinking to herself about how hard it is to get her mom to love her. It's like when she is in a crowded room but still feels alone.

As Olive is halfway home she notices there's a boy up ahead. But he isn't moving, he's just laying there, still… like he was dead. She rushed over to see if he's ok, but he's awake just staring at the sky; that's when she hears the train and she slowly looks up and the train is 100 yards away. She screams and grabs the kid and pulls him to the side. The train roared past them, as the wind blew through her hair, her tears followed. When the train finally passed, she looked at the boy and asked him if he was okay. He didn't respond but walked up the mossy side of the hill and disappeared. She sat there scared but then realized that she needs to calm down so she can get home. As she stood up she felt light-headed, which caused her to fall again. But she kept trying and finally that scene in her head like a song that never ends. She couldn't get it through her head about why he was just lying there, but she was just happy she saved his life and that she was there at a good time.

She headed home and got to her house safely but she was scared for the boy at the train tracks. As she walked through the door her mother glared at her. Not normal where you have been glare. A glare that stares into your soul and inspects every bad thing you have ever done in your life. It was a very judgemental stare. Olive said to her mom in an apologetic voice ¨mom I’m sorry I’m...¨

¨Where were you, I had to make supper and watch your brother, now I'm stuck rushing to clean the house by tonight!!¨ her mom yelled.

¨Mom, I took a long way home, and I saw a boy and saved his life I’m sorry.¨

¨There are no more sorry this sorry that. You are grounded, give me your phone now.¨

¨But mom, that's unfair¨ she tries not to fall crying. She tries not to show her mom that it's affecting her, she is trying to stay strong. Not because of her mom, but because it's for herself. If she doesn’t stay strong she could break down and never get up again.

¨No buts, give me the phone now, or do you want it gone for 2 weeks?¨ As Olive handed her mom the phone she cried. ¨ Stop crying this instant, there is nothing to cry about, now go wash up, you look like a homeless person.¨

Olive heads upstairs rubbing her tears on her face. But it was making the dirt on her face wet. She went into the bathroom and locked the door; she looked at herself in the mirror and told herself that I’m ok, you are fine, even though you almost died today trying to help a young boy, you are fine… you have to be fine because if you show weakness you're letting mom win. Don't let her meanness get to you Olive. Understood? Good! As she says that to her reflection, she turns on the shower to the hottest it can go. She took off her clothes and stepped in; it burnt so bad she fell to the bottom of the tub. As the hot water was pouring on her skin, she tells herself it isn't worth it, this is what I get for upsetting mom. This is my punishment. After she finishes washing her hair, getting all the dirt out she steps out of the tub and turns off the water. When she started to dry off she noticed that she was bleeding on her knees and 2ankles from when she dragged the boy off the train tracks. Olive touches the wound and winces. She touches it again to try and see how much pain she can take. As Olive sits there she wipes off the blood and wraps toilet paper on the wounds until she gets to her room for a proper bandaid.

Olive opened up her drawers, grabbed pink fuzzy socks, pink shorts, and a tank top. Got dressed and cleaned herself up more. She went on her computer and remembered that she had to finish an assignment. It was about environmental damage in the US and how people can help to fix it. She finished her research and made her argument then handed in her assignment. That's when her mom called her down for dinner. She rolled her eyes and headed downstairs. As she sat down at the table her mothers said, ``Now that's what I meant by being clean, now I want you to come home after school straight away and take a shower. Don't you feel better? I told you I was right¨

¨Mom you're right, thanks.¨ Olive said in a sarcastic voice.

¨Dont give me attitude, I’m the one who feeds you and gave you life.¨

¨I'm so sorry, my apologies.¨ As she picked at her food, she wasn't hungry. She still had a sick feeling in her stomach from earlier. She kept looking around and noticed her older brother was looking at her in a concerned way. That's when she got uncomfortable and said in a nervous voice ¨May I be excused?¨

¨No eat your supper.¨

¨But mom, I don't feel good, I'm just gonna go to bed. Goodnight¨ Olive starts to stand up and pulls back her chair and starts walking away. Tears ran down her face as she walked up the stairs. She heard her brother tell her mom goodnight as well. So she quickly headed to the closet where the medicine is. She grabbed her melatonin; it helps Olive sleep at night. She grabs her nightly dose and heads to the bathroom for water. As she swallowed the pills she silently cried. She looked at herself in the mirror and cried even more.

Olive laid down in her bed sobbing. All she could think about was how her mom yelled at her, saying that she is disgraceful and a very spoiled child. Even though she tries her best to get her mom's approval or some love out of her. But as she was about to fall asleep she heard a knock on her door. She stayed quiet thinking that hopefully whoever was on the other side would just assume she's sleeping and walk away. But no, her big brother, Jacob, opened the door and sat down on the end of her bed. And silently looked at her not knowing she was crying.

As he sat there, he said ¨Olive, I just want you to know that I love you. And that I know you are awake..¨

¨Jac...Jacob…?¨

¨Yeah what's up!¨

¨ I'm fine, ok see I’m smiling.¨ As she moved over to the other side of her bed and covered her face with the blankets. She felt him getting up slowly and leaving. Shutting the door behind him Olive sits up with tears running down her face. She tells herself that can't you just accept help, he wants to help you, he loves you, what is wrong with you? She lays back and stares at her ceiling. As tears run down her face like water on the outside of a bottle; she drifts to sleep. Slowly, quietly, and calmly. She sleeps peacefully, and she thinks that why can she not just stay asleep forever. It's so peaceful and quiet, and she can just relax and not worry about school, or mom, or her friends. It's as if she can't have a normal life without sadness or stress. She dreams about having a perfectly happy life, with her mom and friends. She dreams that she could be someone different, someone new, someone who has a normal life and doesn't have to worry about not being enough for people.

The next morning, Olive gets ready for school. As she heads down the stairs she notices her mom sitting on the couch eating a piece of burnt toast. As her mom just lay there staring at the tv while the news was on, Olive knew something was off and that her mom was in a bad mood. She kept her head down and tried to stay out of her way. She just wants to be lowkey so her mother doesn't say anything to her before she leaves for school. Olive heads out the door just in time before her mother gets up from the couch. Olive ran down the sidewalk trying to get as far as she could just in case her mother got up to have her come back for something. As she went around the corner of the street she was out of breath, she stood there with her hands on her knees trying to breathe. She started to walk again, put her earbuds in, and played her playlist. It takes Olive about 30 minutes to walk to school. Olive wakes up at 5:30 every morning so she could take a shower beforehand and still have enough time to eat breakfast. By then it's 6:30 and she needs to head out the door because she has to be in her class by 7:15, and her class officially starts at 7:30.

A car passes by her, as she is kicking pebbles across the ground. Each one going farther and farther across the pavement. She looks up and it's almost sunrise. It's still dark enough to need a flashlight, but light enough where you don't need one because of the streetlights. She walks under one that is flickering above her. She looks up and notices that the light is cracked. But she ignored it and kept walking. By the time she got to school, she was cold and tired. But the class was about to start, so she had no time to take a break. She rushed up the stairs to get to her first-period class, photo. As she gets closer to the door she hears her name being called, Olive looks around but nobody is in the hallways. That's when she notices the teacher calling her name even louder from her classroom.

She rushes in through the door and says here so she does not get marked absent. “Sorry, I'm late Mrs.Shen I had to walk -” The teacher cut her off.

“No wonder you are failing my class. You are always late. Maybe get here faster next time ok?” Mrs.Shen says as she looks at Olive with a serious look on her face.

“Yes, uh ya I will next time. Sorry” Olive walks towards her seat, feeling the whole class staring at her and watching her every move as she sits in her seat. The tension made her uncomfortable, so she just stared down at the paper in front of her on her desk. Pretending to read the paper, Olive looks to the side to see her crush. The most popular boy in school, a funny, athletic boy who is perfect in her mind. She turns right in time as he looks at her. Olive starts to blush and looks forward in front of her and sees her best friend Lily. Lily notices that Olive is looking at her so she waves.

“Hey are you ok, you have been late to class for the past three days, and I did not know you were failing this class. I would have helped you” Lily sits there waiting for a response, but all she got was a look from Olive, and Lily leaned back. “Ok then, see you in the next class I guess.”

The bell rings and Olives start to pack everything up, when she notices her “friend” group walking up to her with the popular boys and yells her name. “Hey Olive!” Jack yelled across the room. “Why you always late, stupid?”

“Ya, why are you late again?” Another boy remarked.

“Oh, I just have to walk to school lately; I have been really tired lately so I have been sleeping in too late. That's all” she replies as she tries not to look up at her crush. Olive stands up and starts laughing, acting like everything is fine. A tear went down her face, but she wiped it in time for people not to notice. “Sorry i had a uh scratch on my face” she continues to say “are we just gonna stand here like idiots or are we going to class guys?” she says as she starts walking through the crowd giggling. They make it up the stairs just in time for the late bell to ring. They took their seats in Science class. Olive sits in the front, only because she can't read the board. She sits next to Lily and Jack. Her crush sits behind her, so when she gets asked a question she always gets nervous because she knows that he is looking at her. She sits there uncomfortably knowing that at any time he could be looking at her.

It's the last class with 10 minutes left before school ends. As the bell rings throughout the halls Olive packs up her stuff and heads out the front door of the school. Her bus sits there patiently waiting for her, she gets on the bus, alone, on the way home she looks out the window thinking about what is going to happen at home. Olive sits on the bus realizing she is about to pass the train tracks where she found the boy. As the bus passes by she looks out the window searching for the mysterious boy, looking to see if he is there. But he wasn't. Olive left a deep breath out, relieved that the boy wasn't on the train tracks again. But she still knew that the boy was planning something, Olive thought who would lay down on the train tracks and just wait for the train to come? I don't get it, thank god I was there. The bus stopped, Olive finally got her head out of the clouds for her to get off the bus. She took a deep breath in as she walked through her front door, knowing that her mother is going to yell at her about something even though she did all her chores. Olive places her backpack on the floor and takes off her shoes, as she slides her feet across the floor like an ice skater. She hears her name being called from the kitchen, “Olive sweety, is that you?” Her mother said in a nice tone.

“Ya, I just got off the bus,” Olive stated in a surprised tone, wondering why her mom didn’t yell at her this time. “Do you need me to help you with anything mom?” She said with a shaky voice.

“No? I want you to just take a shower, freshen up, and just relax.” Her mother started with a confused tone.

“Oh. I thought you would want me to do some chores or something.”

“No!”

“Okay, but I’m going to take my shower now then.”

“Okay, after that we need to talk about school then you can just hang out.” Her mother said with a straight face.

“School? What about school?” Olive was confused, she knows that she is failing some classes, but she didn't think that they would call her mom about it. I don't even want to talk to her about that stuff, because I know she doesn't care.

“Nothing, we will talk about it when you're done.” Her mother stood up from the kitchen island and walked away heading towards her office. Olive just stood there not knowing what's going on. So she headed up to the bathroom, grabbed her towels, and just thought about the many different ways how the conversation can happen.

Olive finished up her shower, got into some pj’s, and headed back downstairs. She was nervous, she started to sweat. Olive started to pick at her fingers, because of an anxiety thing. She notices her mom on the couch waiting for her. So she plops down on the chair near the fireplace. The white leather texture made noise, so whenever Olive would move it would squeak. “So Olive I got a call from the school, and I’m worried that you’re not doing your work”

“Oh, I’m only failing a few classes, I’m doing my work I just don't uh….um…. understand it that’s all.” As she looks down at her leg, bobbing up and down fast.

“Oh, ok I just want to tell you that I think-”

Olive cuts her off “No mom I don't need help I can do it by myself.” She gets up and leaves the living room, heading to her room. She sat on her bed, turned on her phone, and went to change the background. Olive couldn’t decide what to put on her background, all it was is a plain white screen. She scrolled through her camera roll until she found this famous painting she took at an art show. Olive loved the painting because it described her without using words. It showed how she felt, and how Olive puts up a front. She selected the photo and set it as her background. Olive shuts off her phone and lays back on her bed with her legs hanging off. She just stared at the ceiling thinking about how she is failing school. That's when she remembered the boy. The mysterious boy who layed on the tracks and didn't move or speak. Olive stood up and grabbed her phone and her jacket and headed out the door. She didn't tell her mom where she was going, she just left. Olive ran as fast as she could towards the train tracks, not knowing why she is even going, or why she even is heading back there. She stopped at the beginning of the tracks and lay down on the gravel looking at the clouds moving slowly across the sky as if the world was in slow motion. Olive sits up and looks at the time, it's 4:46 p.m. and she realized that it was the same time as when she found the boy on the train tracks. Olive quickly stood up and followed the tracks into the tunnel. She appeared on the other side where the sun was shining down on her golden blonde hair.

Do you know that feeling when you feel like someone is watching you? That's what Olive was feeling, she felt like someone was behind her. Olive turned around and saw the boy, just standing there looking at her. “Hello! wait, you're the boy I saw from that day.” The boy started to walk off when Olive quickly said “no I just want to talk.” The boy stopped walking and stood there.

“What are you going to talk about.” The boy murmured.

“I… I…” Olive stuttered trying to think of words. “I just want to know why I’m always thinking about this place, and why you were lying there on the tracks.” The boy turned around and took off his hood. His hair was dark brown, he had deep brown doll looking eyes. He was skinny, but he was cute. “Wait…” She looked at the boy, confused. Holding tears back. The boy was Josh, her crush, he was standing there in front of her. Just looking at her, wondering why tears are going down her face.

“You ok… it looks like you have seen a ghost. Is there one behind me” Josh laughs looking behind him.

“No, I'm just um, I'm just confused. Josh? Why didn't you tell me that you felt this way, why didn't you say anything?” She starts heading towards him with tears running down her face. Josh starts to back up with his hands in front of him.

“I’m fine, Olive, truly I’m fine.” he looks down at his feet.

“If you were fine then you would have not been laying there on the train tracks, waiting for the train to hit you. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME” Olive says with tears streaming down her face. She sits down on the rocks and crosses her legs, and puts her head on her knees. “I Just want to help you.”

“Why would you want to help me? I'm that important.” he went over and sat down next to her.

“Yes you are, you are more important to me than you will ever know.” She looks at him. And he looked back into her eyes knowing that something was off.

“What do you mean, I’m more important to you than I'll ever know?” He faced her and moved closer to her, waiting for a response.

“Don't worry about it.” Olive sits there about to get up. Josh grabbed her arm and brought her back down to the ground having her sit closer to him.

“No, tell me. I want to know.” He looked into her eyes, they are filled with tears.

“No.”

“Just tell me, why won't you tell me.”

“Fine, I love you ok, I loved you since the ninth grade, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?! Are you happy now?” she stood up and started to walk away. Josh sits there shocked, then he snapped out of it and stood up faster than ever before and ran up to Olive and kissed her. Olive pulled back, “what was that about?” she stared into his eyes.

“I just wanted to show that I love you too, but I just didn't know how to say it so I kissed you.” he starts to blush and backs up away from Olive. Olive stands there in disbelief thinking that all of this is a dream. Olive went over to Josh, stood in front of him, and hugged him.

“Thank you.” As they stood there hugging in the middle of the train tracks.

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