The Flintstones Page #19

CUT TO:

217 INT. SLATE NEEDLE -NIGHT 217

WIDEN FROM a young kid who is drinking a glass of water

and simultaneously singing with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Obviously, the talent show has begun.

In the audience, Lava fidgets with nervous and confident

energy... gives Wilma a big look.

LAVA:

You're certainly looking lovely

this evening, Mrs. Flintstone.

Life with a junior executive must

agree with you.

(CONTINUED)

98.

217 CONTINUED:
217

WILMA:

Uh... thank you... I think.

LAVA:

(looking into her

eyes)

Yes. I think so, too.

(smiling)

Imagine how good you'd look

with a senior executive.

WILMA:

Oh? Is Fred getting promoted?

Lava laughs, sure she's kidding... then not so sure. The

ventriloquist finishes to scattered applause. The kid

bows, gets up... splashes across puddles of water on the

stage area. The Headmistress of L'ecole Superior et al

steps up. Behind her, the picture window displays the

expanse of Slate City: The twin Slatescrapers framing

endless rows of little tract houses stretching to the

distant volcanic ridge.

HEADMISTRESS:

(as applause dies)

Sank you, ladies and gentlemen.

An' sank you, Monsieur Slate for

zis lovely setting. Zoot alors,

zis will ze mos' fantas'tic

recital in Bedrock 'istoree. Now,

I would like to sank out mos'

generous benefactress, Madame

Slate for her fine support o'vair

zee years -

She gestures into the audience, where Mrs. Slate stands,

waves a gloved hand like the Queen Mother.

HEADMISTRESS:

--An' now, what better

introduction could we 'ave for

Mrs. Slate's vairy own gran'

nephew... Poindexter Lava!

She steps aside. Curtain rises on little Poindexter.

He is carrying a leather-and-bone accordion. He begins

to play:

POINDEXTER:

(singing loudly)

'Dino of Spain, I adore you

Right from the moment I saw you --'

99.

218 QUICK SHOTS -AUDIENCE 218

Their smiles become fixed. (Up on the spotlights, the

little birds who operate the lights put earplugs in their

ears.)

In the wings with Pebbles and Bam-Bam, DINO MOANS, hides

his head under his paws.

On the refreshment table, GLASSES CRACK... a cake falls.

219 CLOSE ON LAVA 219

He surreptitiously checks his wrist watch...

CUT TO:

220 INT. EMPTY FIBRERIDE -TIGHT ON ANOTHER WATCH -NIGHT 220

This one a pocket job. (Like Lava's, it's really a

little sundial with a built-in burning match above it to

provide a shadow!) We WIDEN, and see that this watch

is held in a green, scaley claw.

221 ANOTHER ANGLE 221

It's the xenosaurus, lurking behind the exhibits! Now,

the CREATURE GRUNTS confidently, lights up a cigar.

Then it picks up a canvas bag and a big toolbox and

tiptoes into the deeper recesses of the Fibre ride.

CUT TO:

222 INT. FRED'S CAR -TRAVELLING 222

Fred and Barney rush along, Fred at the wheel.

FRED:

What'll we do when we get there?

BARNEY:

We just tell Mister Slate that all

500 acres of his development are

going to crumble into dust any

minute.

(holds up the

flit gun)

Then we zap the stairs and

corridors with some of this

coo-coo sap. I just hope we have

enough to get everybody out -

whoops!

He's said this last because as he held up the flit gun,

the handle whacked the back of Fred's monster costume,

and the head has flipped down with a solid "clink."

(CONTINUED)

100.

222 CONTINUED:
222

FRED:

Barney --!

(swerving all

over the road)

--I can't see straight -

Barney gets up on his knees, grabs the wheel with one

hand and the monster head with the other.

BARNEY:

Hang on, hang on -

Oops. He rotates the head completely around. Fred

flails around. Barney grabs the wheel with one hand,

tries to help Fred with the other.

223 EXT. CAR -NIGHT 223

It careens around even more wildly now. There's several

near collisions.

CUT TO:

224 EXT. "ROCKDONALD'S" RESTAURANT -NIGHT 224

"Rockdonald's" is, of course, complete with golden arches

of stone, a drive-up window, etc. It even has the obligatory

cops on a break... in this case, Feldspar and

Gravel. They're sitting in their patrol car eating from

little bamboo containers shaped just like McDonald's

Styrofoam. (Of course, the logo on the building behind

them proudly reads "OVER 100 SOLD.")

FELDSPAR:

(mouth full, bitching)

Speed traps again! Face it,

Gravel. I'm in a rut... and

meanwhile, the guys who went

through the academy with me,

they're all big shots now:

Sam Slate... Dirty Harock...

Magma, P.I. And you know why?

'Cause they got the breaks,

that's why!

Suddenly both officers react to the sound of SKIDDING

TIRES and HONKING HORNS. They look out their window

at -

225 FRED AND BARNEY -DRIVING PAST 225

both still battling the wheel and the resistant costume

head. (By now their gyrations have put Barney's face

inside the jaws of the monster mask.)

101.

226 BACK TO SCENE 226

GRAVEL:

S-sarge, d-did you see that? Some

sorta creature was attacking that

little guy --!

FELDSPAR:

There's a lesson there, Gravel...

never pick up hitchhikers.

Besides -

(realizing)

--Did you say 'creature'?

They do a big double-take at the now-vanishing car.

FELDSPAR & GRAVEL

The xenosaurus!

Excited, Feldspar bangs his dashboard and a DISPATCH

PARAKEET in a police uniform pops INTO VIEW. Feldspar

grabs it around the neck, holds it like a microphone.

FELDSPAR:

This is a xenosaurus alert.

Repeat, a xenosaurus alert. The

creature has been sighted on the

Slate City exit of the Venturock

Freeway! It is driving a brown

late model sedan and eating a

white male Caucasian. Car twelve

is in hot pursuit.

He releases the bird, which doesn't fly away right away,

but gives him a look.

FELDSPAR:

(remembering)

Oh, yeay... over and out!

The bird nods, appeased, flies off.

DISPATCH PARAKEET

(as it goes)

Awwk! Car Twelve is on the way.

Car Twelve is on the way...

FELDSPAR:

(thrilled)

Gravel, this could mean promotions

for both of us!

(trotting up to

speed)

Load the shotgun and turn on the

siren!

102.

227 FRED'S CAR -TRAVELLING 227

Barney is rocking Fred's head back and forth, finally

gives it one last mighty yank. Something breaks.

Barney falls back on the passenger side of the car.

Fred drives with one hand, "raps" the monster head.

It rattles. When Fred speaks again, the monster mouth

no longer opens and closes in sync.

FRED:

(muffled, shouting)

Ho, gweat! Hoo bwoke hit,

Bahnee! Hi khnat twalk hennymore!

Suddenly both men (pardon, man and xenosaurus) react to

an approaching SIREN. They both look back at -

228 FELSPAR'S PATROL CAR 228

Closing in. Gravel has produced a little sabre tooth

CAT and is "cranking" its tail. As it WAILS away, the

cops close in on our heroes.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote