The Fountain of Youth Page #2

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I can wait.

And Humphrey did some more waiting.

Did a great deal of it.

Great deal of thinking,

while he waited.

And then just before Allan

and Caroline where

due back from their honeymoon

Humphrey called up a man

named Morgan.

- Morgan speaking

This was his old friend Albert

Morgan whose profession was

to turn the cloudy

mutterings of scientists

into clear, downright and

extremely thrilling articles

for weekly magazines.

Sure, Humphrey.

But three months have go away.

When I was after some information

about your experiments

why, you

clammed up on me

What?

You heard from Bingleburg?

Yes, about some tests

we started in Vienna

just before I left.

This is news Albert.

Big news.

So if you'd like to

hear about twenty

carefully chosen words.

Hold it! Hold it!

I'll be right over!

Quite remarkable what

Morgan could do with

twenty carefully chosen words.

The news broke that keen eye

endocrinologist Humphrey Baxter

had finally succeeded in

isolating the VB-282

VB-282

Now as I understand it,

that's the glandular

secretion that controls,

let me say that word again,

controls, the aging

of the tissue.

Girls, just imagine what that means!

And now we shall go from the

world of science to show business.

A little bird tells me that

Caroline and Allan Brody

are due back any day now.

The ideal couple very soon dopped

around Humphrey's laboratory.

- Darling!- cried the bride

You've become famous, what's

all this about eternal youth?

Humphrey told her she could

have no interest in that.

- Why, you looked eighteen

when I met you- he said.

And you were twenty three.

Now you're twenty six.

Twenty seven, twenty

seven last week.

- Don't she still looks

eighteen- said Humphrey

- Well- said Brody

I can't say I've noticed

myself slowing up any but

some of these youngsters

from the west coast.

And he shook his head with the

melancholy always induced in

tennis players by the

mention of the west coast.

You won't be young

always of course.

But then you hardly wanna be.

Those, people you

see around never

seem to mature.

They belong to a particular

frigid narcissistic type.

What kind of type?

Narcissistic, from Narcissus.

It means they are in

love with themselves.

They can't love anybody

else so that's why they,

never seem to get Anny older.

Yes...

Yes, but what about the

stuff you discovered?

Oh, that.

- It's not true then? -I told you

it was all a lot of hooey.

Listen.

I'm going to tell you something no

one in the world must know about.

Do you understand that Brody?

- You can rely on me.

- Very well

Oh! A little kitten cat.

Isn't it sweet?

But what's the kitten got

to do with your experiment?

The kitten had a

birthday last week.

It was five years old.

Ah!

It's a dwarf or, or

midget or something.

It's as normal as every

kitten you saw in your life.

- What will happen to it?

- Will it go on forever?

Will it, will it go on a bang or

crumble into dust or something?

Almost surely heart failure.

But only after sixty

years of glorious youth.

That's two hundred for a human being.

I went to Vienna exactly three

years and four months ago.

So, you see

the kitten part is

Bingleburg's discovery.

But they said in the papers

it was human beings.

I was helping him adapting

two human beings.

And, you succeeded Mr. Baxter?

Humphrey.

Alright, Humphrey, when

will the stuff be ready?

In thirty years or so.

It's a question of finding a

new source for the extract.

To get this stuff we had to perform

an extremely delicate operation.

Which unfortunately is fatal

to the animal we get it from.

- So, you see it...

- What?

Animal?

It's quite a common one. Man.

Urgh.

Another source would

take years even test!

That's why I swore you the secrecy.

Can you imagine the panic that

would break up on this planet

if people knew there was

just some in existence?

- Being kept...

- There is some then.

For the privileged few... yes

The extract was made three times.

Three?

I took one.

A- and there were three to begin with?

- Well?

- What about the others?

Bingleburg took another

one of the three.

He's sixty eight and

as ugly as a monkey.

And he'll stay sixty

eight AND stay ugly.

- For the next two

hundred years. -Ugh.

Who did the third?

I brought the third back to

America with me Caroline.

Life, youth.

Two hundred years.

I must admit I nearly poured

this away the day I landed.

Oh, Humphrey!

Oh, but I don't feel that way

now that I've met you both.

You're such a wonderful couple.

And I want you to stay that way.

That's why I'd like you to

have this if you care for it.

Oh, Humphrey!

Here you are.

For both of you.

My wedding present.

But you do solemnly

swear never to say a word.

- I do

- I do

Sounds quite like

the wedding service.

But of course it isn't.

We'll each take half.

A hundred years of peace.

Oh, oh! Wait a

minute! Hold on.

I'm afraid I misled you.

- Why? -You mean we

can't take half each?

My dear, glands don't

understand arithmetic.

A half change gland won't give

you a half of anything. -No?

No, Caroline, no.

You know, I remember

when I first met you.

I told you what people were like

when certain gland was deranged.

You mean those, awful freaks?

Exactly.

There's just one dose

in that little bottle.

It can be drunk in one gulp.

It doesnt slide plainly but

it's hardly unpleasant.

Keep it as a curiosity.

It, it isn't pretty.

It's a wedding present,

at least it's unique.

- Thank you Baxter.

- Humphrey

- Well, thank you Humphrey.

- Oh, it's too wonderful!

Really Humphrey, you shouldn't.

Don't you think so?

After thanking Humphrey very warmly

again and again for

his wedding present

Caroline and Allan

went home.

Where they set his

interesting little bottle

on the mantel piece.

Many along could get it.

Many along would look at each other.

You better take it now darling.

I do no such thing, Allan.

I want you to drink it.

Caroline, look at yourself

in there, in that mirror.

I'm just being selfish.

I want you to be like that, forever.

Look at yourself Allan.

That's how you've got to be sweetie.

Always.

The next morning the

bottle was still there.

- Sweetie?

- Yes, love?

It's impossible to say what there

was in the tone of their voices

that suggested that

each one of them may've

thought a bit about that bottle

during the night.

- Darling -Now get this

straight once and for all,

you're going to take it and I'm not.

But try to think of

your overhead smash!

What's wrong with my overhead smash?

Are you trying to tell

me it's not holding up?

Its wonderful how it holds

up, everyone says so.

But you'd be against that

awful boy from California

in August, you know.

I can take over that pipsqueak

without any monkey glands.

And I must say I'm rather

surprised you think I can't!

I don't think you can't! But...

darling you are six

years older than I am.

The men get then years

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