The Four-Faced Liar
[Turn signal clicking]
[Horn honks]
[Doorbell buzzes]
A**hole.
F***er.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on!
Oh, Bridget...
What?
Look what I found.
Let's see.
Come and get your 40, Bridget.
Welcome home.
Hmm.
Completely.
[Siren wailing in distance]
That's where I set up my account.
You can set one up there.
Okay.
And then there's a really cute
grocery store down there,
so that's where I shop.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
What?
Nothing. I swear.
It just doesn't look like the New York
that you see in movies, you know?
Come on! It's totally charming.
Okay.
Huh!
Um...
Hey... How 'bout we go over there?
Perfect.
Between two of them -
that's perfect.
Aretha Franklin or Wynonna Judd?
Judd.
Wynonna Judd or Kirstie Alley?
Ugh... Alley.
Uh... Oprah or Gayle?
- Oprah.
- Bridget.
Oprah.
Damn. 10.
Definitely a 10.
That girl? She's a 4.
You're crazy.
Bridget's a 10.
Didn't you say you had
work or something?
I got to get ready.
All right, this is one of the ones
from last Thursday.
Last Thursday? What?
This girl's like a retard, Bridge.
Where do you meet these girls?
Another restaurant on Bleecker.
That wipes out the entire village for you.
I know.
That's really good, Bridge.
Stupidest girl I've ever met.
She is so clingy,
and boring...
And dumb.
Ooh. 9.
She's a 4.
Oh, my God.
She is not.
Oh, God.
Bye, guys.
Amy, before you leave,
who would you rather f*** -
your mom or your dad?
Oh, my dad.
Okay, how about you wait
for me outside on that one?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Bye, Amy.
- Oh, cute. Bye.
Yeah.
- Thank you.
- I got your back.
You always do.
But never have I ever
drank that much rum.
All right, wish me luck.
Hey...
Does this place
not remind you of Joe's?
On Temple Street.
Yeah, in downtown Westport.
- It's great.
- I told you.
Are you gonna
have another one?
Mm-hmm.
Do you remember the time...
This girl keeps looking at me.
I totally know him.
- I like your shirt.
- Is she still looking?
Sorry...
Aren't you the only guy in my...
Girl-writer book class.
...female authors of the 19th century?
I am literally
the only guy in that class.
Why are you in that class?
Bridget made me.
- Is that your major?
- No. Statistics.
- You?
- I finished last fall.
He's studying for the LSATs.
That's like a lawyer, right?
That's... amazing.
She's a ballerina.
Modern-dance major, uptown.
Don't you just hate her?
Her? No.
God, no. Sorry.
Um, Anderson, our professor.
Oh, yeah.
She's a big old douche bag.
Where you guys from?
New Jersey.
- You a Giants fan?
- Hells yeah.
My dad's company
has box seats.
No sh*t.
- It's a douche nozzle.
- What?
Not a douche bag.
It's a douche nozzle.
It's just being more accurate.
- You're so smart.
- I am.
Girls are so offensive!
- Thursday gone?
- Yeah.
Hey, do yous
want to come sit down?
Sure.
Aren't you in...
- Girl-writer book class.
- Female authors of the 19th century.
Okay, um, never have I ever...
wiped my ass with leaves.
It's disgusting.
You lick ass.
Thank you.
Yeah...
You're up, sunshine.
Oh, I, uh...
It's "Never Have I Ever."
If you've done it,
you drink.
If you haven't, you wait.
Um...
Never have I ever, uh...
...locked myself out.
Naked.
Oh, my God.
Um, never have I ever...
kissed a girl.
Oh. It's not too bad.
It was a dare.
It's, like, hot.
- You jealous?
- Always.
All right, I got to pee.
All right, never...
Never have I ever
been to the Four-Faced Liar.
So you're not good at this.
Why is it called that?
Oh, uh...
It's named after a clock tower
in a town in...
...lreland.
- Thank you.
I forget the name of the town.
- Bridget, it doesn't matter.
- It really doesn't matter.
But each face of the clock
tells a different time,
but none of them are right.
They all lie,
so they call it the Four-Faced Liar.
I'm Bridget, by the way.
Molly.
Greg.
Trip.
Huh?
Terrence Witherspoon McNally, III.
Ill... Triple... Trip.
I'm Trip.
Why would anyone name you that?
[Car alarm blaring]
[Voices outside]
It's so loud.
You'll get used to it.
This is the craziest thing
I've ever done.
I can't believe I live here.
- I love it here.
- I know you do.
I asked Trip
to the game on Thursday.
Good. They were fun.
He was fun.
She was... all over the place.
Well, that's the village for you.
Uh huh.
What?
Nothing.
What? What?
- Stop it! Stop it!
- What? What?
Stop, please!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What for?
For following me here.
Anywhere.
Hey, babe, you want to come to
a play with me tomorrow night?
Can't. I have a date.
What?
Jealous?
You're nuts.
Baby...
Baby, look at me.
Hmm? No.
Shut up.
Look at me. You're beautiful.
What?
Um...
What do you want the
whole world to know today?
I love you.
Wait. Stop.
Look at me...
What do you want
the world to know today?
Trip, I love you.
Say it one more time.
I love you.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
Um, who you going
on a date with tomorrow?
Greg.
Okay.
Bye.
[Mumbles Bye]
Bye.
[Mumbles Nice]
Thank you.
Never have I ever...
eaten worms.
That's stupid.
Never have I ever...
fallen out of a window.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Worms?
Point taken.
Dude, what do you want to
do for Anderson's project?
Why don't you do something
without me for a change, okay?
That fiery little redhead,
third row back, asked you, didn't she?
Sure did.
Ass.
Never have
I ever been caught cheating.
Never have I ever
lost to you at this game.
What's up, dude?
Sorry. I didn't know
that you were coming.
Where's your girlfriend?
I have no idea.
It's boys' night.
What?
Pull up a stool.
Uh, you can take mine, actually.
I'm gonna go smoke.
Study break?
- Yeah, two hours.
- Cool.
Dude, those seats
were so good last night...
But I had the shits all day
from that hot dog.
- That's foul.
- You have no idea.
Speed four?
Absolutely.
You're going down.
Sorry.
Okay, I'm gonna go
out with her, I guess.
- Hey.
- Molly.
I know.
Oh...
Mmm... Tuesday.
So, you call them
days of the week?
No.
Well, yes, but Trip started that.
But there are that many?
No.
Sometimes.
I've never just dated, per se.
I wouldn't necessarily call it dating.
Oh...
What would you call it?
F***ing.
Oh.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Wednesday.
Maybe!
Oh, I don't... I don't smoke.
Shocking.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Please don't do that.
What?
Never mind.
I don't know why
it drove me so crazy,
but I almost said to him,
"Let me leave my keys
setting on the mantel.
Let me screw up.
What's the worst that's gonna happen?"
- You'll be locked out.
- And people do that all the time.
They get back in.
They do. They must.
Or they don't.
Unhelpful.
Sorry.
Oh, that's totally my thing.
What thing?
Everyone has a thing that makes
them attracted to someone else.
You straight girls are into holding doors,
and a hand on the small of your back.
Totally.
That lip thing -
that's... my thing.
What's that look?
Nothing.
Okay.
[Rock music playing,
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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