The Frankenstein Theory Page #2

and I think

I can find him.

You know,

Jonathan's theory is

a lot to swallow.

So I just don't want

people getting

a bad impression of him.

But do you believe it?

What exactly are you

asking me here?

Do you believe

that there is

a Frankenstein Monster?

Just take that

and come here.

Excuse me.

Don't you know

he's on suspension

from the University?

Really?

Yeah.

No, I didn't know that.

Well, he's embarrassed

about it.

Jonathan is obsessed

with this bullshit theory.

You know it,

I know it.

I mean, it's all

he talks about.

He barely sleeps,

barely eats,

barely talks to me.

It is ruining him

and you're helping.

And you're gonna

go off to the Arctic.

You're gonna be in search

of this Frankenstein, and

you aren't gonna find him.

Because to answer your question,

no, he doesn't exist.

You know that.

But Jonathan, let me tell you

he's not gonna give up.

This is not

gonna end well.

This is the first movement

of Mozart's requiem.

He wrote it on his deathbed.

It started out

as a commission piece

but ultimately ended up

becoming his own requiem.

So I wanted to

propose a toast,

if that's all right.

[CLEARS THROAT]

The British explorer

Freya Stark

once said,

"There is no happiness

"in the things that we believe

if they're different

than the things that we do."

Now, tomorrow will be

for me the first step

in what stands to be the most

important chapter of my life.

It's definitely the fulfilment

of a lifelong goal for me.

Tomorrow, the things

that I do will be

in line finally

with the things

that I believe in.

I want to thank

everybody here

for being a part of it.

So thanks.

And cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

[WIND HOWLING]

Okay, it took us two flights

to get here,

we're in Whitehorse,

which is in the southern part

of the Yukon.

And Jonathan and Eric

have gone to get the car

so we'll be traveling from...

By land from here on out.

God, it's beautiful here.

It's f***ing

freezing here!

Well, where we're going,

it's only going to get colder.

Great.

"O wind, if winter comes,

can spring be far behind?"

Let's go!

VICKY:
What's the plan,

Jonathan?

Well, right now we're going

to make a quick detour,

we're gonna meet up

with a person of interest,

and then,

we're going to

hit the road.

We're gonna go east

out of the Yukon,

into the Northwest Territories.

We're going to rendezvous

with our guide in Deline.

And then into the wild.

So you were saying

about the drawings,

they're from a real murder?

That drawing right there

which is drawn by

a 16-year-old boy

is an actual...

VICKY:
This here?

We know that's obviously

a photocopy,

but the original's

in my family archives.

But this is

from a murder trial.

In Geneva in 1802.

A governess was accused of

murdering a small boy,

a member of the family

that she worked for actually.

It was my family,

the Venkenheims.

But I think that in reality

this child was kidnapped

and killed by the creature...

I think I've driven past it.

It should be around here

somewhere. Look for 8412.

Oh, no, here it is.

Okay, we're here.

Where is here?

Uh, this is Clarence Malusky.

Apparently he survived

an encounter.

Is he a friend of yours?

Oh no.

I've never actually met him.

Okay.

Hello.

Clarence? It's Jonathan.

Whoa, I'm sorry.

Who the f*** are you?

I'm looking for Clarence.

I'm sorry, I'm Jonathan.

That's me.

What do you want?

We're here to film the...

I talked to you

on the phone

about filming.

Oh. I guess today is

the day you're coming.

I guess so.

F*** you, Mike!

MIKE:
F*** you, Clarence!

To hell with him.

[HORN BLARING]

Sorry about the mess.

Behind in my chores.

Hi.

Hello.

You're pretty hot.

Um, thank you.

I was hoping you could just

tell them...

You got a boyfriend?

Uh, I... Yes.

Yeah? You got a boyfriend

in Canada?

Clarence, I think that

we're all hoping...

Hey, whatever you want,

money man.

What do you want?

I was hoping that, uh,

you might tell us

about the encounter

that you told me about?

Yeah. That's some

freaky ass sh*t, man.

I was selling meth to roughnecks

up in Fort Chipeywan and...

I don't want to

talk about it any more.

Can we talk about

something else?

JONATHAN:
No.

I think we have to...

I'd like it if we can

talk about this.

VICKY:

We would really love

to hear your story.

What do you want to

talk about?

The weather.

VICKY:
Well, Clarence,

maybe we should

get back on point.

You wanna talk about it,

we'll f***ing talk about.

I was up at f***ing

Fort Chipeywan

looking at

the Northern Lights.

There wasn't sh*t around me,

nobody f***ing around me

but ice, snow

and the goddamn lights

and then some f***ing guy

appears.

And he's f***ing huge.

He's huge and I'm like...

You know, "Hey, man,

what's going on?

"What are you doing out here?

You're checking out the lights?"

And he starts coming at me.

And he just gets bigger,

and bigger,

and f***ing bigger.

And then he looks at me like

he's gonna f***ing kill me,

okay?

And then he doesn't.

He walks away,

and I went home

and threw up

all over the place.

What else?

Did you talk to him?

Did you say anything to him?

Did you hear

what I just said?

This motherf***er could

snap me in two.

You think I'm going to

ask him if he wants

some mac and cheese?

I'm telling you, okay,

he was a person

but he wasn't a person.

I know that

it doesn't make sense,

but it does make sense.

JONATHAN:
It makes sense.

Yes, it makes sense.

Clarence,

I want you to look at this.

Holy sh*t, man!

This is him.

That's him!

That's f***ing him, man.

Okay, that is weird.

I'm freaking out right now.

Who the f*** is this guy?

You've heard of Frankenstein?

That's him.

F***, man, I was kicking

it with Frankenstein!

Goddamn, you are hot.

So, seriously,

who the f*** is this?

I am being serious.

That's him.

It's complicated.

What the f*** is going on?

What do you mean?

Do I look like

a f***ing retard?

No, no, no.

Why are you really here?

And don't give me any of this

Frankenstein bullshit.

Do I look f***ing stupid

to you?

No. Clarence,

relax we're...

You! Motherf***er.

Who the f***

are you listening to?

I'm doing sound, man.

Spying on me, huh?

VICKY:
Clarence!

It's a microphone.

It's your...

He's just part

of my crew, Clarence.

Okay, okay, okay.

F*** me.

You. Empty your pockets.

Empty your f***ing pockets!

Shut the f*** up!

Shut the f*** up.

JONATHAN:
Clarence,

relax, please, relax.

Clarence, relax, Clarence.

We are not here to hurt you.

Why would we want to hurt you?

I don't know, man.

You tell me.

We don't want to.

We just wanted to ask you

a couple of questions.

You answered them.

And you did a really great job

and now I think we should

probably leave, we'll leave.

[LAUGHING]

Whoa! Whoa! F***, man.

Whoa! That could...

Okay, so everyone back...

Money man, I'll tell the story.

I don't even need to talk,

you guys tell me some sh*t,

you know.

VICKY:
If it's okay,

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