The Frankenstein Theory Page #5

I bagged a lot of

big game in my day.

I wouldn't mind bagging

myself a Frankenstein.

[LAUGHS]

God! F***.

F***.

Yeah.

I'll tell you one thing,

polar bear, best

damn hunter on Earth.

Tigers and lions

are just pussies

by comparison, literally.

Figuratively.

Polar bear

can outrun a racehorse.

Can swim in ice cold water

for 100 kilometers.

Hold his breath underwater

for 15 minutes.

ERIC:
You ever seen one?

Hell, I've killed 12 of them.

Friend of mine,

I used to hunt with,

Ted Meachum.

He survived

a polar bear attack.

He's north of Churchill,

that's in Manitoba.

Took some weekend warriors

up on a hunt, 1992.

I had a bad feeling

about that.

The winter was mild,

ice didn't freeze over

till February.

When it did, it was

only for a few weeks.

The polar bears eat seals.

When the Hudson

isn't frozen over,

they can't hunt seals.

When they can't hunt seals,

they hunt something else.

Anyway, old Ted took 'em

out on a light plane.

They had engine trouble,

had to put down.

Six men stranded in the tundra.

A big male polar bear

got the bead on them.

Pulled one man out

of the fuselage

in the middle of the night,

screaming.

Dragged another

through the ice.

Come daylight they thought

they were safe.

Polar bears,

like most predators,

prefer the ambush,

not this one,

he was different.

He attacked that

plane dead on.

Ripped apart what

was left of the fuselage,

killed all the remaining

passengers.

All except Ted.

ERIC:
What happened to Ted?

That's the damnedest thing.

He ripped off Ted's leg.

I mean, just ripped it off.

Ate it in front of him.

But let him live.

Like he was toying with him.

Ted was supposed

to be gone overnight.

So the following day

I led a search party.

Got a sea plane.

Spotted the wreckage.

Found Ted

nearly bled to death.

But he did a good job

with the tourniquet.

I guess the bear did get him

in the end though.

What do you mean?

He was never right

after the attack.

Six months later,

he shot himself in the head

with his Winchester.

That's f***ed up.

Yeah. Don't f*** with

the forces of nature.

You better respect her,

because nature doesn't forgive.

Are you f***ing with us?

Do I look like

I'm f***ing with you?

Whoa, easy, look.

[IN HIGH VOICE]

Hello. Hi, Eric.

Kiss me, I want a kiss.

I want a kiss, Eric.

Brian, that's disgusting.

JONATHAN:
Let me see that.

He's out there, you know.

And tomorrow we'll

go looking for him.

But right now,

I'm turning in.

Now, if those

wolves start up,

don't you go waking me up.

I'll make good on my promise.

Okay.

[WOLVES HOWLING]

[WHISPERING]

Those wolves are really

freaking me out.

I know.

They sound closer

than last night.

I know.

Jesus Christ.

JONATHAN:

Something's got

them worked up.

ERIC:
I don't know how

he sleeps through this.

Karl?

This is like a

lullaby to him.

JONATHAN:
Shh, shh! Listen.

ERIC:
What?

They just stopped.

Maybe now

we can get some sleep.

[LOUD GROWLING]

What was that?

Holy sh*t!

ERIC:
Should we wake up Karl?

No! We should... No.

He'll kill me.

JONATHAN:
I think that's him.

What? Really?

You think so?

Yes.

ERIC:
No way.

Yes, I do.

The wolves are scared of him.

That's why they stopped.

ERIC:
It's a bear.

I don't think so.

Have you ever heard

a bear howl at night?

Do you know

what it sounds like?

Do you know

what it sounds like?

No, but it probably

sounds like that.

Yeah.

[GROWLING]

That sound like a bear to you?

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]

Somebody stole one

of our snowmobiles

last night

and trashed the other one.

The third one

is still working.

Oh, terrific.

I thought we were

alone out here.

Well, we're obviously not.

Who could have done this?

Somebody was

definitely here.

Big f***er, too.

Tracks lead over there.

It's not a polar bear,

or a goddamn monster.

It's a man.

Hey, where are

you going?

In 30 minutes,

I'll have his ass.

He didn't take any fuel,

and those snowmobiles

were low...

I don't think you

should go out there.

What did you say?

I said, I don't think

you should go out there.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Karl, I just think

it's a bad idea.

Hey!

We got a crisis

on our hands right now.

I need you guys to do

exactly what I say.

No need to panic.

I'll be back soon.

I understand, I don't think

you should go out there.

This is my country!

I'll be goddamned

if I let some motherf***er

come in here and steal my stuff.

All right?

ERIC:
You don't want to take

the other snowmobile?

And let him know I'm coming?

You f***ing nuts?

It's been four hours

since Karl left

and there's been

no sign of him.

So I'm officially worried.

Brian and Eric have volunteered

to go looking for him,

while the rest of us

stay at the camp.

ERIC:
I drive this time.

You film.

You drive

like a grandma.

Great f***ing trip, Vicky.

We don't make it back,

I want to officially

go on tape as saying

this country sucks

and it can lick my balls.

USA rules!

Canada can lick 'em.

Just come back in an hour

whether you find Karl or not.

One hour, otherwise

I start to freak out.

An hour, got it.

You ready?

I'm ready.

Bye! Love you! Kisses!

[SIGHS]

I guess we wait.

BRIAN:
Hey, Eric!

What?

I have to get

my gloves straight.

Oh, my God! Oh!

This whole thing

is so f***ed, dude.

I know.

What are we doing?

You don't believe

this sh*t, do you?

F*** no!

But I mean...

It's weird sh*t going on.

Why, you don't believe it,

do you?

No. No.

It's a mind f*** though.

I mean, the noises last night?

And the drawing?

Freaky sh*t, right?

Yeah. But no,

Frankenstein is fiction.

And Jonathan,

for a genius,

is a f***ing idiot.

Amen to that.

They're gonna be fine, right?

LUKE:
I think so.

Yeah.

I wouldn't be worried

about them.

Really, it's broad daylight.

I'm pretty sure the creature

has developed

a nocturnal way of life.

He shies away from people.

He's generally moving at night,

sleeps during the day.

They're fine.

Aren't you concerned at all

if he were to come here?

No. Of course not.

How could I be?

That's been my goal

the entire time.

I've been clear about that,

haven't I?

I want this.

I need this proof.

I'm getting kicked out

of the university.

Anne told me.

She did?

Then you understand

how much I need it.

Everything I've been working

on hinges on meeting him.

That's the whole

point of this,

is to have real

photographic evidence.

It's the only way I'm ever

gonna prove to my colleagues,

to the world

that I'm right.

And I know I am.

No doubt in my mind

that I'm right.

[ENGINE REVVING]

F*** me!

ERIC:
I don't want to

go in there.

You think I do?

You think I want some bear

to make fun of me

while he eats my leg?

Karl!

Yo, Karl!

Sh*t!

We gotta go in there.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Karl?

I don't like this place.

I don't either.

ERIC:
Oh!

What?

There's blood.

What?

Over here.

Oh, Jesus!

Holy sh*t!

BRIAN:
There's somebody

out here with us.

We have to get

the f*** out of here.

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