The Frisco Kid Page #2

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when we get off the train.

l know. l know.

You told me a hundred times.

Ladies and gentlemen,

can l have your attention, please?

l want you all to stay calm and listen

because l'm only gonna say this once.

First thing is, don't turn around.

There's a man behind you with a big

shotgun. He don't care to be recognized.

Them that don't believe me

is gonna die.

All right, now. . .

. . .let's all put your hands

on top of your heads.

Good. That's real good.

Now we're all gonna play

like we're in church.

You got something

for the collection, sir?

Very kind.

Ma'am? Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Ma'am?

Thank you.

Well, thank you all very much.

Jake, l'm jumping here.

You go at the next bend.

Remember, folks,

the best way to keep your heads. . .

. . .is keep your hands on top of them.

And don't turn around.

lt's better to give than to receive,

ain't it?

Simple Simon says:

''Everybody laugh. ''

Don't you get the joke?

Simple says, ''Everybody gonna laugh. ''

It's difficult to explain

that a Jew can 't ride on a Saturday.

And for a Jew,

Saturday begins on Friday.

-Name?

-Joseph Peloton.

ool, cool, cool.

See the foreman. Name?

Good. Good.

-Good.

-See the foreman.

-Name?

-You funny-looking fellow.

-Yes. Yes.

-See the foreman. Name?

Yes.

-See the foreman.

-You ever work on railroad before?

-No. This is the first time for me.

-K-O-B.

-See the foreman.

-You sure talk funny.

-Yes.

-See the foreman.

-Yes.

-John Browning.

Some strange-looking characters

looking for jobs.

See the foreman.

-Name?

-Belinski.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Sorry. Sorry, Paco. Sorry.

lt wouldn't happen again.

You can bet your boots on that.

Oh, he did it again.

Wait. Wait, Paco, wait.

Wait, it wasn't done on purpose.

-Avram, some water over here.

-oming right up.

The fresh, fresh water

coming right up.

-Avram.

-What? What happened?

Paco. Wait, no.

-Oh, no.

-You've been asking it.

l'll break your Jewish bones!

You smart, you listen.

We open a big restaurant.

You work one year,

make enough money to buy a wagon.

Maybe we even go with you, huh?

Open a big joint in San Francisco.

Paco, would you show me

where to buy a horse?

-How you going to find your way?

-Paco, please.

Just show me where to buy a horse.

You crazy, Jew boy.

You're gonna get lost.

Believe me. . .

. . .l won't get lost!

Oh, yes, you will!

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Paco.

Goodbye, Mr. Ping.

Wait. Wait, horsy.

Wait, wait, horsy. Take it easy.

Nice horsy.

That's a good horsy. That's it.

Let's take it slow and easy.

Slow. Slow. That's it.

Be a good horse.

Sarah Mindl.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

Oh, my Sarah. Sarah.

Oh, if you knew

what you meant to me.

Hey, shoo!

My food. Oh, my food.

Why me? My food you're gonna take?

You got the whole world,

you're gonna take my food?

Not you. Wait. Not you.

No, horsy, wait. Wait!

No food and no horse.

Now what?

ome back! Komme hier, horsy.

l'll be good to you. l'll be nice!

l'll pick grass for you.

l'll scratch your back.

l'll give you a nice rub.

hicken, chicken, chicken.

hicken, chicken, chicken, come here.

l don't wanna hurt you.

l just want to eat you.

Komme hier. Wait!

l don't wanna hurt you!

l just want to make you kosher!

How hungry are you?

l'm pretty hungry.

lf you had been here yesterday,

we could have had roast chicken.

So that's Jewish cooking, huh?

Pretty good, huh?

Where are you coming from?

Back there.

You're from alifornia, huh?

alifornia is that way?

Lost, ain't you?

Got any money?

No.

You got any food?

No.

Sure talk funny.

Where were you born at?

Poland.

ls that near Pittsburgh?

No, that's near zechoslovakia.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And you're going to alifornia?

Yes.

You ain't gonna make it.

Excuse me.

ln the morning,

would you be kind enough. . .

. . .to point out

in which direction is San Francisco?

-Sure.

-Good.

-ln the morning.

-ln that case. . .

. . .would you like to fight

for that last fish?

You think you got a chance?

l think l can say,

with complete confidence. . .

. . .none whatsoever.

But l'm still hungry.

-Help yourself.

-Thanks.

What do you call this kind of fish?

Oh, that's a trout.

A trout?

lt's got a lot of bones.

You got family waiting for you?

l'm promised a wife

when l get to San Francisco. . .

. . .but l haven't never met her.

You're gonna marry a woman

that you never seen?

l didn't say l never seen her.

l said, l never met her.

They sent me a picture

before l left Poland.

-Well. . . .

-What you think?

No, that's my kind of woman.

You son of a gun.

You son of a gun, you.

Sh*t!

-l guess so.

-This other one ain't bad neither.

Good night, Rabbi.

-Good night, cowboy.

-That's a real woman.

Eins, zwei, drei, and tight.

Once through this one and pull tight.

This goes down.

-Well, nice meeting up with you, pard.

-Nice meeting up with you, pard.

-You got it straight?

-Oh, sure.

Right from this tree. . .

. . .l head straight north, five or six

weeks, till l come to the flat country.

-Yeah.

-Then l make a left for two days.

That way, l avoid the lndians.

Then l cross the river. . .

. . .and l make a sharp right,

away from the mountains.

Once l get to the desert, God willing. . .

. . .l just continue, straight as piss,

till l come to the ocean.

Take a left, keeping the ocean

on my right shoulder. . .

. . .and just hot-tail it,

right into San Francisco.

Good?

Pretty good.

Well. . .

. . .l hope you make it.

Okay, wait, horse.

Good.

All right, go, horsy.

That's it.

Straight ahead.

Speak any Mexican, do you?

No. Why do you ask?

Oh, nothing.

Just curious.

lf you should ever come

to San Francisco. . .

. . .l hope that you'll call on me

and we could talk over some nice times.

ome on, horsy.

Hey!

That way.

That way?

Well, of course,

l know it's that way.

But first, l have to go around that big log

before l can go that way.

You mustn't turn a horse so quick.

That's how accidents happen.

You gotta start nice and slow,

that way you get off on the right foot.

What kind of crazy horses

they got in this country.

What do you call this in Jewish?

Well, you keep your eyes on this tochis,

and don't take them off till l tell you.

Keep my eyes on the tochis.

Sh*t! Don't get no closer

to that edge, Rabbi.

-What kind of word is that?

-What word?

You always say

''sh*t'' at a certain moment.

Sh*t?

Well, that's. . . .

That's-- What do you. . .?

Well, you must have a word

in your language that you. . . .

What do you say

when you get really took by surprise?

Yeah.

That's it. That's what sh*t means.

Oh, sh*t!

Yeah, that makes sense.

Slow. Slow, horsy.

Well, this is it.

-Where are you going?

-Down the river a few miles.

There's a good place to cross.

-Why not here?

-Here?

Here's a good place to die, but it

ain't a good place to cross the river.

We just jump in and swim

straight across. Simple as pie.

lf you wanna kill yourself, go ahead.

l don't like the odds.

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