The Gay Sisters Page #4

AND I WANT TO KNOW

WHAT IT WAS!

WELL, SINCE YOU'VE

DESCENDED TO PERSONALITIES,

THIS-THIS DISCUSSION

IS WITHOUT PURPOSE.

NO LAWYER COULD SIT SILEN IN COURT WHILE HIS CLIENT MAKES

SUCH AN UNDIGNIFIED

AND VIOLENT ATTACK ON A-

ON A MAN OF CHARLES BARCLAY'S

POSITION AND IMPOR-

SO THAT'S IT! WELL, IF YOU'RE

SO ENAMORED OF MR. BARCLAY'S

NOBLE MOTIVES, GO AND ASK HIM FOR

A JOB! WE CAN GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU!

WELL, YOU JUST CAN'T CHANGE

LAWYERS OVERNIGHT IN A CASE LIKE-

WHY CAN'T I?

IT ISN'T DONE.

WELL, IT'S BEING DONE

RIGHT NOW!

YOU SAID YOURSELF WE'D

PRACTICALLY STARTED

THIS CASE ALL OVER AGAIN

WITH A NEW JUDGE!

IT'S A FINE TIME TO START I ALL OVER AGAIN WITH A NEW LAWYER!

AS A LAWYER:

- I'VE LET YOU PILFER THIS ESTATE FOR YEARS,

LET YOU HAND IN YOUR

SWINDLING DEMANDS FOR FEES,

BUT NOW YOU'VE GOT ALL

YOU'RE GOING TO GET OUT OF US!

GIBBON, YOU'RE THROUGH!

TAKE YOUR DIRTY, RED,

WET FACE OUT OF HERE

AND KEEP IT OUT!

GET OUT!

FIONA!

IT'S MINE!

WHO'S THAT?

MR. GIBBON.

HE'S OUR LAWYER.

HA HA! HE WAS YOUR LAWYER. OH.

WHAT'S ALL THE NOISE

ABOUT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I SAY, ARE WE

BEING BLITZED?

NO, BUT OUR MR. HERSCHELL

GIBBON WAS JUST BLITZED

RIGHT DOWN THE FRONT STEPS AND

INTO THE GUTTER, WHERE HE BELONGS!

SLIMY TOAD WITH HIS

LIES AND EVASION,

SHINING UP:

TO CHARLES BARCLAY!

TRYING TO FEATHER

ANOTHER NEST FOR HIMSELF

AFTER HE'S THROUGH

FOULING THIS ONE,

BUT I PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!

I TOLD HIM WHAT HE COULD DO!

TAKE HIS DIRTY, RED, WET FACE OU OF HERE AND KEEP IT OUT FOR GOOD!

AND FURTHERMORE,

I SAID-

I'M GIG YOUNG.

YOU, UH, DROPPED THIS.

GIG, I'M SORRY. THIS

IS MY SISTER, FIONA.

GIG YOUNG? AREN'T YOU

THAT VERY BAD MODERN ARTIS WHO SMELLED UP THE PLACE

PAINTING A PICTURE OF PAPA?

RIGHT! FOR THE GAYLORD

POST OF THE LEGION.

ANYWAY, YOU...

KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.

THAT WHAT YOU LIKE?

YES.

I SUPPOSE YOU'RE

THE OTHER SISTER.

I KNOW A GAYLORD

FACE WHEN I SEE IT-

TOO MUCH PRIDE AND JUST THE

LEAST BIT SHORTNESS OF THE CHIN.

HOW'S ENGLAND?

FIGHTING BACK.

SAY, WHAT MAKES ALL YOU

GAYLORDS SUCH BEAUTIES?

PERHAPS BECAUSE THE GAYLORD MALES

WENT SLUMMING ONCE IN A WHILE-

KEPT VITALITY AND VARIETY

IN THE FAMILY.

OH, FIONA,

WHAT ARE WE GOING

TO DO NOW?

WE'LL HAVE TO GE ANOTHER LAWYER.

OH, WE'LL GET ONE.

NEW YORK'S CRAWLING

WITH LAWYERS.

LET ME SEE. BARTON RUSS? NO,

HE THINKS HE'S CLARENCE DARROW.

I KNOW-RALPH PEDLOCH.

HE MIGHT BE JUS THE RIGHT MAN.

WHY? YEARS AGO, MY DOG BIT HIM.

WHAT'S THAT GO TO DO WITH-

WELL, HE KNEW I WAS A

GAYLORD AND HE DIDN'T SUE ME.

I'LL CALL HIM UP. BESIDES, HE'S

SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LAWYER.

YES, BUT WOULD A GOOD

LAWYER HAVE ANYTHING

TO DO WITH:

THIS FAMILY?

WELL, YOU COULD

ALWAYS ASK:

AND THEY CAN:

ALWAYS SAY NO.

I'VE HAD A LO OF FUN THAT WAY.

YEAH, I'LL BE YOU HAVE.

HEH!

SO, YOU'RE AN ARTIST.

YOU LOOK MORE LIKE

A... FULLER BRUSH MAN.

SO YOU'RE LADY BURTON.

GO ON. TELL ME

WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

INCENDIARY BOMB,

WITH A MONOCLE.

HA HA!

WILL YOU HAVE:

SOME SHERRY?

YEAH, IF IT'S NO TOO STRONG.

VERY GOOD FACE,

YOUR SISTER.

PLENTY OF CHARACTER.

SOME OF IT'S THE WRONG KIND...

COURAGE AND...

STUBBORNNESS.

WHEN WILL YOU:

MARRY ME, SUSANNA?

NOW, THERE'S SOMETHING

I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.

NO, DON'T WORRY YOUR SILLY

LITTLE HEAD ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.

YOU KNOW?

KNOWN ALL THE TIME.

I WENT TO SCHOOL

WITH THIS GUY-

SAYER ALLEN.

HOW COULD A LIVE

LITTLE GIRL LIKE YOU

MARRY A FRUIT PLATE

LIKE THAT?

BUT, GIG, WHAT ARE WE

GOING TO DO?

LOOK, SUGAR,

YOU COULD HAVE:

100 HUSBANDS.

IT WILL MAKE:

NO DIFFERENCE TO ME.

WHAT I WANT I TAKE,

AND WHAT I TAKE,

I LOVE.

WHEN YOU GET RID OF

THAT HUSBAND OF YOURS,

YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY ME AND

HAVE 10 CHILDREN - ALL ARTISTS.

AND SOMEDAY I'LL BEAT YOU

AND YOU'LL THROW CHAIRS AT ME

AND WE'LL GO ON

BEING JUST FOLKS.

WELL, I-I'VE TRIED TO GE THE MARRIAGE ANNULLED...

BUT HE WANTS:

A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.

SUPPOSE I MURDER HIM?

OH, NO, GIG.

I WOULDN'T LIKE THE IDEA

OF WAITING OUTSIDE PRISON.

PLEASE, GIG,

YOU'VE FORGOTTEN EVELYN.

NO ONE FORGETS:

EVELYN.

LOOK, EVELYN, WHAT'S

WRONG WITH ME?

I OFFER TO TAKE A WOMAN AWAY

AND GIVE HER LOVE AND LIFE,

AND EVERYTHING A WOMAN'S SUPPOSED

TO DREAM OF, AND WHAT HAPPENS?

SHE SAYS NO!

I WOULDN'T.

NOBODY ASKED YOU!

YOU KNOW,

I'D QUITE FORGOTTEN

HOW EXCITING:

AMERICAN MEN CAN BE.

GIG, DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

YOU HAD AN APPOINTMENT?

OH, YEAH. I GOT TO TORMEN SOME 57th-STREET ART DEALERS.

GOOD-BYE, SUSANNA,

AND REMEMBER-

I'M NOT A PATIENT MAN.

PLEASE, GIG.

WHAT-EVELYN AGAIN?

WELL, I'LL KISS HER, TOO.

IT'S ALL IN THE FAMILY.

LADIES, I SALUTE YOU.

WELL, GIRLS, AT LAST I

HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WE COULD USE SOME.

MR. PEDLOCH'S COMING

RIGHT OVER.

HOORAY FOR THE GAYLORDS!

THERE, YOU SEE?

I'VE BROUGHT YOU LUCK.

DID YOU BRING YOUR

GAS MASK, TOO?

YES, WHY?

PEDLOCH'S GOING TO NEED I WHEN HE OPENS UP OUR CASE.

AND THAT'S WHY

I HOPE TO GET IT OU OF THE COURTS

FOR YOU THIS YEAR.

THAT MEANS YOU'LL TAKE

OUR CASE?

AS A LAWYER, I'M AS HAPPY

AS A LYNCHING BEE TO GET IT,

BUT THERE'S ONE THING

I WANT TO ASK YOU...

WHY DOES CHARLES BARCLAY

HATE YOU SO?

WELL, I'VE NEVER

UNDERSTOOD. WHY DOES HE?

WELL, APPARENTLY, HE'S THE

MONKEY WRENCH IN THE BUZZ SAW,

OR THE FLY IN THE OINTMENT,

OR THE COLORED GENTLEMAN

IN THE WOODPILE.

IS HE? HOW VERSATILE.

YOU KNOW, IT MIGHTN' BE A BAD IDEA

IF YOU HAD A ROUND-TABLE

CONFERENCE.

YOU KNOW, GET BARCLAY

AND HIS LAWYERS-

NO, NO.

FIONA, YOU SEEM TO BE

ALMOST AFRAID OF BARCLAY-

AFRAID?! AFRAID OF THA COUNTRY CLODHOPPER?

THAT... THAT...

ME GO TO HIM?

WHY, IF PAPA WERE ALIVE,

HE'D BE COMING TO OUR HOUSE-

TO THE BACK DOOR,

HAT IN HAND!

WELL, IF YOU FEEL

THAT WAY ABOUT BARCLAY,

I'LL HAVE TO SEE WHAT I

CAN DO WITH GILBERT WHEELER.

MAYBE I CAN ENLIS HIS SYMPATHIES.

WHO IS THIS CHARLES BARCLAY WHO, UH,

MAKES EMOTIONS:

RUN SO HIGH?

HE'S A STRANGE MAN-

STIRRING BIG CAULDRONS

AND NEVER SPILLING A DROP.

TELL ME ABOUT HIM.

OH, HIS IS A BRILLIANT MIND-

A GREAT ORGANIZER'S.

PERHAPS HE SEES THE WORLD

WE ONCE LOVED IS ENDING.

- PERHAPS HE SEES...

- EVELYN!

THERE'S NO NEED

FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION.

ALL RIGHT, MY DEAR.

WELL, MISS GAYLORD, THEY CERTAINLY

TOOK YOU GIRLS FOR A RIDE.

YES. THEN WE MAY

HAVE TO WALK HOME.

OH, I THINK I CAN

GET YOU A LIFT.

I'LL GO TO THE DOOR

WITH YOU.

THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, LADIES.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PEDLOCH.

AT LEAST YOU KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE STEPPING INTO.

OH... AS LONG AS I'VE

HEARD ALL THE STORY.

YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN

ANYTHING, HAVE YOU?

NOTHING ESSENTIAL.

WELL, I THINK

WE'LL GET SOMEWHERE.

OH, BY THE WAY,

JUST A WORD OF WARNING-

DON'T MAKE GIBBON ANY MORE

ANGRY THAN HE IS ALREADY.

YES, I KNOW.

HE'S A BAD LOSER.

YES.

DINNER'S READY.

I'LL SPREAD

THE GLAD TIDINGS.

EVELYN, SUSANNA,

DINNER.

COME AND GET IT.

EAT YOUR HAMBURGER.

SUSANNA.

SUSANNA,

YOU'RE IN LOVE.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

BY THAT VACUOUS LOOK

THE POETS CALL "ECSTATIC."

FIONA, I'M GOING

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