The Gazebo

THE GAZEBO:

You have to pull the trigger.

You have to pull the trigger.

Let's start again.

You there.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

Mathilde, it's me.

It's me.

It's Mr Colas, the barrister.

Recognise him?

Give me a hand.

We were rehearsing.

The gun's not real. Look.

What are you doing?

Grab her there.

Yes, like that.

Why didn't you warn me?

-It's not a joke. It's work.

So it wasn't real?

-Of course not.

I almost died from the shock.

Your reaction proves

that it's a good scene.

I'm happy.

-Me too.

How do you feel?

How do you feel?

I want to go back to the kitchen.

-She's stuck.

When you'll have another corpse,

please let me know.

Alright.

What do you think about my debut?

Old chap, I don't think

it's very good.

If you ask my opinion as a barrister,

I'll give it as a friend.

You're a good comedy author,

but for a detective story...

What's wrong with the story?

-Well, first of all...

Why does your hero shoot the man?

-Because he's a bastard.

If you want to shoot all the bastards...

-He's a bastard who blackmails my hero.

He had to pay for the first time,

then for the second time...

...and now he has to...

-I don't understand what you're saying.

What?

-He...

Double.

-Ah!

And my hero can't pay that, so he

has to sell this, that, this...

...this, that, only the

chandelier stays.

You get all worked up in order

to write a detective story.

He pretends he'll pay.

-Yes.

Good, and... and...

Yes.

-Let's go there.

The villain comes from there, like you.

-Yes.

He stands here.

-Bang, bang, dead.

What bang, bang, dead?

-Bang, bang, dead.

Bang, bang, you kill him.

I don't like that your hero's

holding something back.

He just happened to end up in this

story and he's completely innocent.

Why doesn't he go to the police?

-Because he can't.

And the audience won't know why?

-I don't want them to know.

Alright, call me after you've

worked on the story. See you later.

What's wrong with my story?

-Your hero will end on the scaffold.

He can't say.

-Will he commit the perfect murder?

In a way, yes.

-Have you got a bucket of water?

A bucket of water?

-To get the blood of your carpet.

Avoid blood on carpet.

-That's it.

And also avoid yelling by the maid.

-Ah yes, the maid.

Maid... avoid... yelling.

-See you later.

Yes, yes.

There's also a way to

commit a perfect murder.

Yes?

-That's to make the body disappear.

When there's no body, they can't

prove there was a murder.

Yes, that's true.

Thanks.

Hey, wait.

Wait, wait.

What if I throw the body in the water?

-It'll float back up.

I didn't think of that.

-Unless you cut the body to pieces.

From the bottom up.

-And in an oven.

Does he have fake teeth?

-I don't know.

Teeth don't burn easily.

-That sounds really difficult.

Alright, bye bye.

-Mr Brisebard!

Mr Brisebard.

-Good morning.

Did you convince your wife

to sell the property?

It's not easy. Have you got someone?

-Yes, Mr Grunder.

He's rich and they're looking

for a nice property...

...that's quiet and rural.

Can we come and visit?

My wife can't know. Come over in the

evening when she's at the theatre.

Excuse me.

-Another one that's henpecked.

Hello?

-Mr Brisebard?

You forgot about me.

-No, I think about you all the time.

Have you taken a decision?

-Yes, I can't do this.

I can't at the moment.

-Why not?

I can't tell you why not.

-I'm giving you 48 hours.

You're very kind.

I'll call you back. Bye.

What is this?

-Delivery of Mrs Brisebard's gazebo.

Happy birthday, darling.

-What's this, Mrs Brisebard's gazebo?

I wanted to surprise you for the feast

of St. Anthony. You're not very happy...

But I am.

-Leave me alone, you...

It's a beautiful gift.

-It certainly is.

Leave me in peace.

-You'll never guess where I found it.

In the Puy-de-Dme.

-The Puy-de-Dme.

Yes, the Puy-de-Dme.

-Get lost!

I can never afford this.

-But it's a good investment.

And all the little details

go very well with the house.

And what does it cost?

-I got it at a bargain price.

-What?

Without the foundation.

-What?

I have to go to the theatre.

Have a nice day, darling.

Why am I the only man in the world

whose wife bought a gazebo?

Mrs Brisebard and I agreed on 250,000

for the foundation.

-But for you, I'll do it for 248,000.

That's quite a favour.

-And don't worry about the payments.

My men and I will make a big hole

in the ground, for the foundation.

And tomorrow, I'll pour in cement

and then I'll place the gazebo on top.

I guarantee you that the foundation

will last at least 200 years.

I won't be able to check that

in 200 years.

-Yes, indeed.

Can you guarantee that the

hole will be made tonight?

Tonight in 200 years.

-What, in 200 years?

Tonight, for 200 years.

-Tonight...

The hole will be there!

Can I count on you?

-You can.

Promise?

-Promise.

Start right away.

-Right away.

It's a deal.

Come on, we start.

Mr Jo?

-Yes?

Antoine Brisebard speaking.

-Well?

It's solved.

-Ah!

First I couldn't do it, but now I can.

-How much?

I'll have exactly what you need.

Like last time.

-9 o'clock at your place.

See you tonight, Mr Jo.

Sylvie?

-Yes.

It's all been solved with Mr Tonelotti.

After tomorrow, everything'll be ready.

We can save money by not

having any foundations.

But we need foundations.

Big foundations!

Look.

The cement will be hard in a day.

Thanks to Mr Tonelotti.

And on Friday,

we'll have the party.

Your 550th play with

your comrades in costumes.

Antoine, you're a genius.

Thank you, darling.

I'll get ready.

Antoine?

Where are you?

-I'm coming.

I'm coming down.

What were you doing in the garden?

-It's for my new piece.

Are you coming to the theatre?

-I can't.

Do you mind?

-No, I'll let you work.

I have to go, or I'll be late.

-Say, Sylvie.

Yes,

-Tell me, if someone...

...ends our love or

if we have to separate...

We won't, my angel.

Promise me we'll die together,

my dearest Sylvie.

But of course. You're so serious.

Is it because of the new piece?

Maybe, the detective genre isn't...

-You can do it. You'll see.

And when I come home tonight,

I'm sure there'll be a corpse.

The digging has been done,

the maid left... the doors...

Four:
get a gun ready.

Four:
a gun... alright.

Five:
turn off the lights.

Six:
I can't see anything.

We should have put this at seven.

What are you doing in the dark?

-What do you mean?

Don't you feel well?

-I feel very well.

I'm very late.

I forgot my make-up.

Sylvie, did I give you a kiss?

You did. Do you want

to give me another one?

I do, actually.

Aren't you forgetting anything?

You won't be back?

-I don't think so.

Bye, cupcake.

-Bye, sweetie pie.

I can't...

I can't do it.

I'd rather pay.

I can't do it. There.

Oh no! Oh no!

Oh no, it's not for real.

It's not for real, come on.

You're still working.

-Didn't you go to the cinema?

I was just leaving.

A prop gun.

Good evening, Mr Colas.

Have fun.

Mr Brisebard?

Something terrible happened.

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