The Ghastly Love of Johnny X

Good morning, Judge.

Jonathan Xavier.

You stand before me today

accused of low crimes

such as theft

and civil disobedience.

What have you to say

for yourself?

Mr. Xavier,

you've been given full bounty

of our society's benefits,

yet you choose to flaunt

your disrespect

for everything decent

by means of repeated

transgressions against us.

All we ask of our citizens

is a modest conformity,

but even that seems

to be too much for you

and your misguided followers.

So now you're going to have

to listen to my verdict.

Do your worst, Counselor.

I'm counting on it.

In as much as you insist

on being an outsider

and laughing at

the rules and traditions

of our advanced civilization,

I am exiling

you to a place

which has no adherence

to either.

Observe.

Under your desks, children!

Yeah?

Well, I don't care!

You can end me to any pus-y,

scab-covered boil you want.

At least

I'll be going places.

I'm the guy your parents hate!

Young man, do you really

wish to become that?

Undisciplined, irreverent...

Tasteless!

I'd like to advise you to choose

your next words carefully,

because this may

be your last chance

to find grace among

your own people.

Oh, yeah, baby.

What is this thing

he's got?

Guard!

You little monster!

Jonathan Xavier...

An unselfish act will

bring you home.

Be wise,

for what it's worth.

Until that time,

I have no choice but

to sentence you...

...to Earth!

She's close.

Mmmm.

I can almost

taste her.

Let's fade.

Woo!

We surrender, we surrender!

I'd like to say a word

about Chesterfields.

Chesterfields are

milder-smoking, better-tasting

and cooler.

See "Beatnik Barbecue"

starring screen sensation Robin Wray.

Here you go, baby.

It's a gasper.

We interrupt this program

to bring you a late-breaking

news bulletin.

The southwest's Rockin'

Shamrock, Mickey O'Flynn,

"The Man with the Grin,"

is missing.

A search of O'Flynn's Arizona

mansion yielded no clues.

O'Flynn was

last seen rehearsing

for his first public appearance

in several years.

Show producer King Clayton who

lured the reckless recluse

back into the limelight for a

concert scheduled this weekend,

admits that the rootin',

tootin', shootin' star

failed to

show up for a rehearsal.

What can I say?

The rootin', tootin', shootin'

star failed to show up

for a rehearsal.

O'Flynn's following at the

height of his success

surpassed all but a few in

the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

But even after the bright

lights dimmed,

O'Flynn remained

loyal to his fans.

If you or anyone you know is in

possession of any information

that may lead to a

resolution to this crisis,

please contact your

local authorities.

And now this...

You're a star, Snooky!

Yeah, well, they're not exactly

lining up for autographs.

Let's just keep it that way.

What can I get you?

Make it cold and wet,

handsome.

A pop?

With a twist

of lime.

Chip.

My name is Bliss.

Repeat it.

Bliss.

That's nice.

I like the way

you say that.

Let's try another one.

You see that desert?

Yeah, I see it.

You know what's sitting

out there?

No, what?

Lizards.

Lizards?

That's right.

A whole

bunch of lizards.

Do you know what those

lizards are doing?

They're looking for me,

that's what they're doing.

And you know why?

They want to lick me.

Lick you?

You mean...

Doesn't matter.

All that does matter is

you're no lizard,

and that you

don't remind me of him.

"Him."

Him?

Johnny X.

Oh, him.

My boyfriend.

Oh... him.

I've been in that Godforsaken

desert for 40 days and 40 nights

without so much as a Popsicle

to keep me company,

all to get away from

Johnny and his pack of jackals.

But a lizard doesn't always have

to be a lizard, Chip.

Just like a soda jerk doesn't

always have to be a soda jerk.

He can change.

Or someone

can change him.

You wanna go for a spin

in my motor-rotor?

Groovy.

Let's go.

I need a little tiger

in my tank.

But my shift,

it isn't-

Your shift?

Chip, what did

we just talk about?

Maybe you need to

shift gears.

I'm going.

Going... I'd like to, I would.

But this is my life,

right here in this diner.

I'm solid gone.

Wait!

He's here!

See this "A?"

Uh-huh.

It's an "A" for Annette

Whoa, man!

Do you like my "A?"

Uh-huh.

Well look at it and like it

'cause it's all that you get

See this "B?"

See this "H? "

It's a "B" for Bobbi

It's an "H" for Hope

Do you like my "B?"

Do you like my "H? "

Well look at what

you like

But can you touch it?

No!

We wanna rage

We wanna fight

We wanna rumble

all through the night

We wanna rip

Ha!

We wanna roar

Hey!

We wanna wreck

and then come back for more

Yeah

Johnny's waiting

contemplating

Anticipating a brawl

And he won't go far

'Til the tar is beat out

of every one of you all

They wanna

choke they wanna crack

They wanna give

a few heads a whack

We wanna pound

We wanna punch

They wanna bust up

our business lunch

Right! There's nothin'

I like better...

Better than... ...

than breakin' a jaw or two

Oh, yeah!

We wanna rage

We wanna fight We

want to take a big bite

And we wanna begin

Begin Begin Begin

With you!

Sucker! Pulverize him!

Oh yeah,

right there.

Rip his ears off!

That's right- still,

no word on the mysterious

disappearance

of Cactus Rock

legend Mickey O'Flynn.

Wait a minute, you goons.

I wanna hear this.

A search of O'Flynn's residence

revealed no new evidence.

None of

O'Flynn's seven ex-wives

could be reached

for comment.

That cat

that Mickey O'Flynn

He's one of the reasons

I'm here

He's one of

the reasons I am what I am

One of the reasons

I have no fear

That cat

We wanna rage

That Mickey O'Flynn

We wanna fight

And forever must he roam

We wanna rumble

Like all us lost

and lonely souls

Amen

I hope he finds his way

back home

Johnny oh Johnny

Why can't you Johnny

be good?

Behave a bit more normal

Like an earthly

teenager should

Johnny oh Johnny

Bliss Bliss

You is my woman

You must not fight indoors

Now and forever

Just let them go

Ahhh And then you know

Ahhh...

I will give to you what

rightfully is yours

Don't do it Bliss

He can't be trusted

He should be busted

without any bail

No deals Bliss

Have you forgotten?

His love is rotten

and cold and stale

Don't do it Bliss

Don't worry about me Chip

He can't be trusted

He should be busted without any

bail I can take care of myself

No deals Bliss have you forgotten

Please let us go

His love is rotten

and cold and...

Just let us go.

Let 'em go?

Baby I can't do that

Let 'em walk away into

the desert sun

Let 'em go?

We'll take our chances

Baby I won't do that

Walkin' in the sun would

not be any fun

No

Give us a break

I got my self respect

No

And let us go

And I got

their respect

No He's got a

reputation to protect

'Cause firstly and lastly

I still am the Ghastly One

Let 'em go?

Baby I can't do that

Not a day for walkin' in

the desert sun

Let 'em go?

Baby I won't do that

A hundred degrees or more

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