The Golden Arrow Page #5

If he learns now that

you're a phony, he'll walk.

Just give him time and he'll fall.

"You play along with him

and string along with me."

"And in three months you'll

have him sold in a sack."

Well, alright.

But don't go too strong, will you.

[ Door knocks ]

Come in.

Oh hello, Useless.

Mrs Jones would like to speak to

you if you can spare the time.

Maybe you'd like to comb my hair?

I think one can only comb one's

own hair to one's satisfaction, sir.

It's rather like putting

on one's own hat.

Perhaps you'd like to help

me brush my teeth?

[ Door knocks ]

Will you come in.

Oh, hello Johnny.

I'll wait out here.

Well, I'll be changed in a minute.

How is the book going?

Not so good.

Johnny, does the hotel distract you?

Oh lets take a house

with nice quiet grounds.

Now just a minute.

You've already talked me

into staying in a grand suite.

You must be comfortable to do your work.

Well, I am .. almost.

Sure?

Well, you might fire that valet

of mine. He's embarrassing.

Oh.

I don't need a valet for four suits.

Oh, but you're having others, Johnny.

Oh no I'm not.

I've already taken four so I wouldn't

disgrace you. But that's the limit.

Well, fire anyone you like.

You know you're the boss.

Thanks.

Well?

Here I am.

How do you like the suit?

Lovely.

Oh Johnny.

I wanted to ask you if you'd

join me at the Polo field later.

Oh and sit in that box

on exhibition, huh?

Why, Johnny.

Look at that.

Last week I sent a boatload of professors

to Geneva to run the League Of Nations.

Who's doing this?

Oh, I don't know.

You know .. I sometimes

suspect that Jorgenson of yours.

I'm certainly becoming swell

publicity for the cream business.

Oh no Johnny. He wouldn't dare.

I would fire him.

Don't you see?

That's what comes of

having too much money.

I wish I were poor.

Well I've certainly had enough of it.

Don't say that, Johnny.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Please be kind to me.

Alright.

Alright. Now, now, now don't cry.

You do like me a little, don't you?

You are very charming.

Am I?

Uhuh.

So you'd better find the right man.

Well .. he'll turn up. Just be patient.

You will come to the Polo

field later, won't you Johnny?

You know the foreign elements crowd

me the minute you're not with me.

Please come, Johnny.

Alright. I'll join you.

You are sweet.

I'll have the car at the

door for you at three.

Bye, darling.

So long.

Car, please.

Mr Jones' car.

Pretty soft, kid.

Oh shut up.

Yes sir, Mr Jones.

Ready, Mr Jones.

Sure. Where is the car?

Right in front of you, Mr Jones.

That isn't our car.

Your name is in it, Mr Jones.

Where did this car come from?

It came to the hotel garage

from the agency this morning.

One of our business officials named

Jorgenson got in this morning.

She and him picked it out for you.

Pretty soft.

A nice car, Johnny.

Get in, Johnny. We'll take your picture.

I'll take a taxi.

Listen Johnny, come on.

How about a little bit of a story?

Hey, is it true that

Jorgenson is in town?

Sure. He came in this morning by plane.

He's at the Polo field with your wife.

Oh I see.

Aren't you going to take your new car?

What? Me in a thing like that?

The Polo field.

Yes, sir. Your Johnny will

surely fall for this one.

Your just wasting your money.

He won't ride any of them.

When he reads in the papers

what a Polo player he is ..

He won't stand much more of this.

He'll leave me.

And so help me if he does.

Now listen. He knows when

he's got a good thing.

I'll lighten the pressure

before anything happens.

Here he comes.

Alright boys, get your cameras ready.

Hello Johnny.

A little surprise for you, Johnny.

Hold it, Johnnie. For a picture

Johnny.

Johnny.

I didn't have anything to do with this.

I see.

Thank you.

The police say he bought a

Ford from some reporter friend.

He's .. driving north.

Now, now. Don't cry, Daisy.

We'll get him back.

Now that we know where he is, its easy.

Well if you don't, I'm quitting.

Quitting, do you hear?

Now, now. I'll have the right

man on the job in five minutes.

Hello, hello?

What's wrong?

Oh, I'm selling tickets to the

policeman's ball. Oh,

But that won't do you any good.

Turn that car around.

What for?

Come on, turn that car around.

I must know it this means.

But Johnny, you were in

such a temper when you left ..

Your probably didn't have any

idea how fast you were going.

It really is serious, Johnny.

You bet it is. 80 in a 15 mile zone.

Why that speedometer isn't

capable of going to 35.

But Johnny, the speedometer

isn't in jail. You are.

You know how judges are

nowadays about speeding.

What's more, you've

liquor on your breath.

I haven't had a drink.

Possibly not.

Sometimes it's just a little touch

of toothpaste on the breath.

In fact, our firm is getting

one out right now.

Listen! I need a lawyer.

Oh but a lawyer would only irritate

the judge and ruin everything.

Yeah, whats "everything"?

Darling, do you ever talk generalities?

I would if I were in jail.

Now see here. I married you as a favor

because I thought you needed protection.

But that was a mistake. You don't

need protection. I need protection.

I'm going to get out of here.

Of course you are darling.

On probation.

Of course.

Probation?

Yes, you'll be paroled for six months.

To your wife.

Oh.

I've talked to the judge.

I have some influence.

I'll say you have.

In the circumstances he'll be lenient.

Of course, you can't leave the state.

No. We'll go back to the hotel and

live and everything will be swell.

Just as a I thought: framed.

Why, Johnny.

It's a trick to keep me shackled to you.

Shackled?

Well, the decision

remains with you, Johnny.

But have you ever been shackled

to a Florida chain-gang?

Hello Johnny.

Did you see a ball land?

Huh? Yes. Back there.

Did you lose one?

No.

Is your wife with you?

Well .. I don't think so.

I mean if she were, we

may have a foursome.

I'm going around with Hortense,

but not professionally.

Pretty soon you'll be one of us.

Oh no no.

Here it is.

I want you to meet Hortense. Two couples

like us ought to get around together.

This is Johnny - Hortense.

How do you do. It's time we met.

Yes, rather.

Have you found the ball?

Right back there. I'll go get it.

I was telling Johnny that we ought to

have a foursome sometime with Mrs Jones.

Does your wife play?

Oh .. I think so.

Oh, you're not sure?

Well, I've seen you around a great

deal alone the last day or so.

Yes, I do quite a bit of that.

Oh I see. You're one of those

writers who like to be alone?

Well, not necessarily.

No?

Have you the time?

Yes.

Four.

Well I'm going back to

have tea at the clubhouse.

Would you like tea?

Oh thanks. With lemon.

Well, why don't you join me?

Alright, I'd love to.

Alright, let's go back.

Operator.

Operator, get me

Western Union, will you.

Hello.

I want to send a telegram.

Mr Pat Parker.

840 Laurel Avenue, Brooklyn.

"Come at once. Urgent."

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