The Good Guys and the Bad Guys Page #3

so what's the hurry?

The hurry is

I get jumpy just sitting around.

Jumpy?

What the hell's to get jumpy

about this job?

Town full of hicks, it'll be a pushover.

Yeah, if there ain't any Pinkerton men.

For that kind of money,

a man's gotta figure on some risk.

Risks or no risk, it sure beats the hell

out of busting your back for $3 a day.

- Cards.

- Two.

Three.

It's your bet.

By me.

Your bet.

I swear one day I'm gonna stuff my boot

right down that old man's mouth.

I don't know why we drug him along

in the first place.

He's supposed to know this country.

He had a... Had a gang once

that operated in these parts.

Hard to imagine, ain't it?

Him leading a gang.

Call.

That and that better.

Up.

Turn around.

- You know him?

- Yeah, I know him.

Name is Flagg. James Flagg. US Marshal.

Marshal? That old man?

Flagg?

McKay?

Get them saddled.

You spook them horses?

- I asked you a question, mister.

- He spooked them.

Sneaked up on McKay, I hit him.

- What do you want this old buzzard for?

- He says he's a marshal.

- He sure don't look like no marshal to me.

- This is James Flagg.

Now who the hell is James Flagg?

Who the hell is James Flagg?

He's the toughest marshal

this side of the Mississippi.

Oh, yeah?

- What town you toughest marshal of?

- Purgatory.

He's the marshal of Purgatory

down along the Forks River.

You're a little outside of your territory,

ain't you?

Purgatory's more than

You sure this isn't

another one of your wild stories?

If you're a marshal, let's see your badge.

I don't see no badge.

I lost it.

Well, the famous marshal lost his badge.

He's a marshal like you're Calamity Jane.

Mount them up, Deuce.

We're heading for Progress.

What are we gonna do with him?

Shoot him.

Can't go cold-blooded

killing a man like that.

Well, then stay here and hold his hand.

Pick you up Saturday.

Better anyhow.

That way you'll be out of my hair.

Now wait a minute, Waco!

Now, listen, McKay,

you're here on a free ride and you know it.

You're hanging on by your teeth.

Now, you want to come, you put a bullet

in your marshal friend, here.

If not, you stay here and hold his hand.

Either way, it don't matter to me.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes,

I never would've believed it.

Now, don't you get any fool notions.

This is still my gang.

- Waco works for me.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

I never figured I'd see the day that

John McKay was rawhided by a green kid.

Rawhided? Look who's been rawhided!

You walk in here, broad as daylight,

you take three steps

and you get your scalp parted.

You put that cannon away,

and I'll show you whose scalp gets parted.

Oh, no.

I leave fool stunts like that to marshals.

- Why, you flabby...

- Don't give me an excuse to use this.

All these years and you still get riled up

just thinking about it.

I get riled up when I think about a man

breaking his word.

- Never gave you my word.

- The hell you didn't!

Oh, the hell I did!

You told me

that you wouldn't pull anything

and the minute I turned around

you damn near knocked my head off!

What'd you expect me to do?

Let you take me in

and spend 20 years in jail?

I expected you to keep your word.

I promised. I never gave you my word.

Well, what the hell is the difference?

One's a promise, the other's my word!

That's the difference.

Oh, no.

Sun never set on the day that Big John

broke his word to a friend or an enemy.

What was that business

about me being Marshal of Purgatory?

Waco would've shot you right on the spot

if he knew

you were the Marshal of Progress.

- What's that to you?

- Nothing.

I just don't go for unnecessary killing.

I still can't get over it.

All these years and you're still hunting me.

I was hunting jackrabbits, not you.

Matter of fact,

I forgot about you years ago.

I heard you got killed

down along the Red River.

Red River.

That job would've made

the James gang look like city boys.

Three express cars!

More gold than in a dozen banks.

- And more Pinkerton men, too.

- Still don't know how I made it.

I did get two slugs. Right there.

Guess the bullet with Big John's

name on it just ain't been fired yet.

You damned idiot! I'd have hit him!

Get him. Come on, boy.

Damn fool.

Carmel, you grow more beautiful

every year.

Thank you.

To you.

I do feel wicked imbibing before sundown.

Well...

Voil!

Sundown.

Oh, Mayor Wilker.

You know, Mayor Wilker is so... So formal.

My... My Christian name is Randolph.

- Randolph?

- Yes, but to you it's Randy.

- Now, Randolph...

- No, Randy.

Randy, we must remember I'm a Mrs.

I, my dear, am a mister.

- Please! If my husband knew, why...

- Never fear.

Your husband is aware

only of engines, valves, gasoline.

- It's true, I'm afraid.

- Yes.

Every weekend he's out and about

in his automobile,

while you, in the bloom of your youth

and beauty, are left alone,

unattended, like an unplucked rose!

- Yes.

- Wasting away.

- Yes. Yes!

- A victim of internal combustion.

That's why

we belong together, Carmel, dear.

You, a Ionely woman.

I, a Ionely public servant.

Both of us love-starved victims

on the altar of progress.

Are you Ionely?

Lonely?

Carmel, dear.

When I sit at my desk,

pondering the awesome

responsibilities of my office,

I'm probably

the Ioneliest man in the world.

- You poor man.

- Yes.

So your mayor needs assistance, devotion,

and patriotic support.

You are patriotic, aren't you?

I'm a member of the DGW.

The what?

Daughters of George Washington.

We're more patriotic than anybody.

Well, that's what I'm gonna appeal to,

your patriotism.

There.

There.

You see, what I need... What I need

is the warmth of my constituents.

- Yes, the warmth.

- Their affection.

Yes, their affection.

Their spiritual sustenance.

Yes, their spiritual substance.

Yes, my dear, substance.

Mayor.

Randolph.

- Randy!

- Mayor?

Yes? Flagg!

Well, it's nice to see you, Mrs. Flannahan.

We'll discuss your suggestion

at the next council meeting.

Have you gone crazy?

- Mayor, this is...

- Don't you know what doors are for?

- Mayor...

- Don't you know how to knock?

- But...

- Are you totally out of your mind?

Will you listen to me?

It'll take a $10 bottle of perfume

to smooth this over.

- Mayor, this is Big John McKay.

- I want to get to the Emporium.

Didn't you hear me, Mayor?

This is John McKay.

- Fella I was telling you about.

- Yes, yes.

Of course, we'll discuss it later.

- But his gang is in town right now.

- Right you are, Jim Boy.

But, Mayor, the bank! Tomorrow's train.

The money!

Look, Jim Boy, you're retired.

Now you don't have to

think about those things.

Now, just go home, relax, go fishing.

- Boyle can handle these things.

- These men will eat Boyle alive!

Come on now, Jim, don't exaggerate.

Now, Jim Boy, you know

my office is always open to you,

but next time knock a little.

You know what I mean?

You scare the hell out of a man,

barging in like that.

And both of you, take a bath,

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