The Good Night Page #6

Anyway, you owe me big-time.

Yes, I know.

- She's pretty amazing.

- I know.

Certainly giving me a little bit of ammo

for my dreams tonight.

Don't say that. And don't do that.

Why would you...

- You're not going to do that, are you?

- It's a dream.

It's not like I'm going to f*** you, is it?

Yeah, but it's not a dream, though, is it?

At least not in the sense that you mean.

- Her look is sort of wrong, though.

- Her look?

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine. How are you?

Good. I think she likes me a little bit.

Why would you say that?

I sense that.

You're not going to do anything about it,

are you?

No, no. I just mean she's, you know,

the kind of girl that likes everyone.

She's just really out there. She said

she wants to experience everything.

Well, that's why I like her.

She's the exact opposite of Dora.

Oh, God.

Yes!

Listen, I'm going to go

before I f*** your girlfriend.

Why are you doing this to me, Paul?

You're right, you're right.

I'll wait till I'm asleep.

Listen, I will call you tomorrow

and I'll tell you what happened

- and we can compare notes.

- Don't do this, please.

- It'll be great. Melody, you're a star. Bye-bye.

- Ciao, Paul.

- See you, Gary.

- Yeah.

- Do you want to get a drink?

- Sure.

Who were those guys you were talking to?

One's a stylist I used to work with

and the other I don't know.

- But they're gay.

- Right, they seemed kind of dickie.

They're harmless. Let's go.

Do you like this place?

Yeah, it's not bad.

Do you ever wear your hair back?

What's wrong with my hair?

No, no, it's nothing.

I just think it might look good.

No.

Not really.

Yeah, that's nice.

Yes, Master.

Anything else I can change about myself

to your liking?

No, not today. You are perfect.

Even with all the zippers and...

- You don't like my clothes?

- No, the clothes are great.

I meant your jacket, which actually I...

I like. It's very...

Very backstage.

Well, should we get into your style?

I'm sorry.

I like the jacket.

- It's okay, you can say what you want.

- I'm not really crazy about the jacket.

Jesus Christ!

What? You just said I could say what I want.

- Are you weird?

- What do you mean?

Are you drunk?

No, of course I'm not drunk. I just want

to have a nice time. Let's have some fun.

Sorry, can I have two shots of tequila

and a white wine?

- Yeah. You can't smoke that in here.

- Cool, okay.

I can't have another one of those shots.

I didn't order you one.

Please don't be mad. I was kidding.

Half-kidding.

I just want you to look great.

- I don't think that's wrong, that I want you...

- Stop talking.

I don't mean it in a bad way, okay?

I mean it in a good way.

Because I know how great you could look.

I know how fantastic you would look

in a white tuxedo.

What?

- You're crazy.

- I'm not crazy.

Yeah, you're crazy. You're a loser.

- Psychotic.

- Psychotic.

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

You can't just walk out of the bar!

Don't tell me what to do, please.

Okay, well, would you mind telling me

what I've done?

Why are you being mean?

Mean?

Mean? I don't even know you, man.

I mean, I just thought you were nice

and we could be friends

and have a good time together.

I didn't really think you were

one of those douchebag guys.

- But clearly you are.

- A douchebag?

Have you ever even said that word before?

What's "douchebag"?

- I'm not a douchebag.

- I don't want to talk anymore, okay?

I'm going home.

You're making me feel

like I have to break up with you,

and I don't even know you.

Goodbye, Gary.

Come on.

Bullshit.

You think that's me out there?

You're a real piece of sh*t, Gary.

You know that?

I've been sleeping.

Oh, f***!

Jesus!

Gary. How are you?

I'm a wreck. How are you?

Oh, cool. I'm fine. I mean, come on in.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Excuse the mess.

- Okay.

Yeah, I was just...

Funny little rabbit girl I dreamed up

was nipping at my toes and then

you were at the door.

Yeah.

Did your girlfriend come back?

No, she hasn't called or anything.

- You don't look so good.

- No?

I don't even know what to say, Mel.

Look, I'm falling apart, you know?

Is that soundproofing?

Yeah. It's got cotton behind it.

Swallowed up, right?

You feel like everything real is

in there

and all this out here is just a waste of time.

This is what you got to look forward to,

man, in your old age.

I can't do anything anymore.

I let you down. I let you down.

The human default setting

is loneliness, man.

Sadness is a guarantee.

People like you have

all these great distractions,

girlfriends and jobs and sh*t.

And all these distractions from unhappiness

equal life.

I don't have any of those things.

In some ways, my cross to bear,

in others, my freedom to cherish.

You see all this stuff? This...

My past and future lie in these stacks.

I'm always looking for something new.

I've saved eagles' nests

high in the Dolomites

on Icarus' perfected wings.

I bedded Cleopatra in a tub of figs.

Not bad for a schlub from Astoria.

What should I do, Mel?

I see it in you.

It's like looking in a mirror.

I know how lost you are.

Hey, man...

If you want out,

all you've got to do is say goodbye.

- What the f*** did you do to this place?

- F***ing hell!

- Jesus Christ! You can't do that to people.

- This is...

I've been in here for 45 minutes

trying to find anything.

I don't give a sh*t that I'm not 70.

You could have f***ing killed me there!

Oh, God!

- I didn't know you were coming back today.

- Yes, you did, Gary.

- I didn't.

- Are you a complete lunatic?

Okay, you have 100% lost it.

Okay, listen. I had to do something

about the noise, right?

I couldn't sleep. I... How are you?

The noise is in your head.

Do you understand that?

- No, it's not. The noise is in New York.

- This is really crazy!

I can't believe you've covered

- the entire bedroom with this stuff!

- I know, I know.

I'm sorry. I'm going to bring it down.

I'll take it down.

We're never getting

our security deposit back, by the way!

- How was the trip?

- Unbelievable.

The trip was great, thank you very much.

I signed a fantastic painter to the gallery.

I'm going to curate my own show

with him and another painter.

With him? He's a man. He's a man?

A man painter?

- What, a man painting with a hat on?

- What are you...

- You developed a stutter since I saw you?

- No.

I've been home for five minutes,

the questions are already boring.

Where are you coming from, anyway,

at this hour?

I'm coming from having breakfast outside,

because I'm not sleeping.

Why are you so mad at me?

You're right, okay?

You're right. I'm sorry. I'm not mad. I just...

This whole thing reeks of paralysis.

I need to go and stay at Terry's

for a while, okay?

This place is a disaster zone!

Yeah, I know. I was going to call

the housekeeper. She can vacuum.

Look, tell me about the trip.

What do you want me to tell you, Gary?

It was great, okay?

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