The Good Thief Page #7

are you in, Bob?

If I told you,

you wouldn't believe me.

Oh, I believe

everything you tell me.

Tell me about gambling.

Do you have any luck left?

- I'll tell you tomorrow.

- Did you call the casino?

- They were closed, but I got you this.

- Art.

- Yes, they reopened it last year.

Doesn't add up.

He's going to steal them in full view

on the busiest night of the year?

- You should get some sleep, boss.

I know.

I know I should.

- What the f*** are you doing?

Hey, what's up, guys?

Nothing lately.

Sorry. Complications.

But better late than never.

Bertram, you have a place a guy could sleep

or is it only twin beds?

- I spoke to the casino,

and the manager had no worries.

He said the originals are quite secure

at a different location.

- The originals, huh?

- Yeah, in a vault at Villa St. Pierre.

- The ones in the casino are copies for display.

- Oh, my God. It's a fake.

Yes, they're all fakes.

Pathetic, isn't it?

- No, it's beautiful.

- The fakes?

- Anne.

- Hmm.

Do you know the first thing

to learn about gambling?

- What?

- Clothes.

He or she should always

look their best.

- And we don't quite make it.

- No.

So, let's go shopping.

What about this?

Turn around.

Divine.

The best disguise in the world:

Tuxedo and some gel.

Albert, you got some gel?

- Gel.

- Thank you.

Gel is essential

when things get complicated.

There.

- We could almost be triplets.

- Hmm.

- And do you know the second thing?

- Tell me.

- Gambling and dope don't mix.

- The third?

Always play the game to the limit.

Damn the consequences.

Two teams. Six cars in the trap.

I take the villa. You take the casino.

- And be diplomatic

with those monkeys in Monaco.

- What about Bob?

You'll find him playing the tables,

expecting me to tail him.

- Just don't let him leave.

- Do I arrest him?

For playing roulette?

She had a bad end, Mimi.

But then tell me an opera

that has a happy ending.

- She died?

- Uh-huh.

Anne.

You're gonna see

fake glamor...

serious money, and a lot

of bad plastic surgery.

But remember, the dice

falls the same for all of them.

- That's lesson number four?

- Five and six.

- Hey, where is Paulo?

- Paulo shot a snitch

and had to run to San Remo.

- Do you think he got there, honey?

- I sincerely hope so.

Nothing we can do, Raoul, but play our parts,

and my part was to gamble. So let's gamble.

Where the f***'s Paulo?

Hey, so just

how f***ed is it?

- Don't know yet.

- Do we call it off?

- It's too late for that.

How do we play this one, Anne?

- To the limit, I think?

You heard that, Raoul... to the limit.

Let's get some chips.

- Cover the grounds. Check all the exits.

Go, go, go, go!

No dead bodies tonight.

Do you know

what a prime is, Anne?

- A number divisible by itself and one.

- You remembered. I'm touched.

- Don't play them tonight.

- Why not?

- It's my birthday. I'm not a prime anymore.

-

- Yes!

You broke it, Bob...

your losing streak.

Lesson number seven, Anne,

and don't take it the wrong way.

Displays of emotion

are kept to a minimum.

Thank you.

There.

There are plainclothes cops

all over, but nothing of Roger.

- Someone's been singing, Bob.

- Yes, but I don't know what tune.

I could check out the villa.

If I see cops on the gate...

If you check out the villa,

you'll invite cops to the gate.

Your choice, Raoul.

- Round she goes.

Where she ends, no one knows.

- Hmm.

I was right, you know... first time I met you.

Lucky eyes:

One brown, one green.

- Should I get contacts?

- Mm-mm. Never.

F***ing Paulo.

F***ing spiders.

- We've got infrared sensors reading...

every centimeter down there.

If a fly buzzes in, the alarm sounds.

Seven digital cameras.

He'll have gotten round your sensors

and gotten round your damn cameras.

And the only question is

where he's comin' in from.

- Let's go downstairs.

- I'll have to disarm the system.

You're not listening.

I think you'll find he's done that for you.

- How much do you owe the cubist?

- One and a half million francs.

- Have you a long way to go, Bob?

- Rule number eight. Never tempt fate.

We win.

- Every Alarm in the building

should be screaming by now.

That's technology for you...

always lets you down.

And I bet he can't see us

on his monitors upstairs.

I think we've got a problem.

My God.

That doesn't let you down.

It would almost

have been worth it, Bob.

- Who the f*** is Bob?

- Shh.

Hello. Hello. Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Hello.

Hello? They're coming from underneath.

Check beneath the vault.

Call your men

from the casino immediately.

- Another lesson.

- What number is this?

Doesn't matter. Always tip.

Private rooms.

It is not looking good, pal.

- F***. F***!

- Aaah! What the f***?

- Ow.!

- Can't get through the pipe!

- Did you take care of that faucet?

- Does it f***ing look like it?

- The f***ing gas!

I smell gas.

- Get out of here!

- That's not quite Bob's style.

- What the f*** is Bob's style?

Somewhat more elegant.

Get in the car!

- Where is Philippa?

- F*** Philippa. Go!

F***ing spiders.

Hey, what's wrong

with spiders?

F***ing spiders

made it all go boom.

- Boom, huh?

- Boom, f***ing boom!

What we have is a full house.

- We wanna bet 600,000 francs.

It pays 10 to one.

- Yeah.

That's 6 million francs

we just won.

Take this million francs, put it on the ante,

and watch his face.

Check all cars in and out of Monte Carlo.

They're looking for burned hair

and singed eyebrows. I'm going to the casino.

- Casinos?

- Someone has to tell him he's blown it.

That's the manager.

Bon soir, monsieur.

Last call.

- Says who?

- It's almost daylight.

- Rosy-fingered dawn.

- The house must retire.

- The house sleepy?

Cash, if you please.

Large denominations.

- And it's getting late.

-

- The last rule.

- What?

If you're gonna win big,

do it with a girl called Anne.

- Okay?

- Hmm.

- You had a good night, my friend?

- Exceptional. And you?

- Well, exceptional too. I crashed a party.

- What kind of a party?

Well, a boom-f***ing-boom one.

I apprehended a transvestite...

who had an interest in art and all along...

The safe is empty.

- I could accept a post-dated check.

- Tell him again, will you?

- Well, it seems someone cracked the safe.

Tell him, hey, of all nights,

just my luck.

- And I am awaiting legal advice.

- How long must we wait?

- I have a meeting in Paris.

- Shall we speed things up and arrest you now?

- Me? On what charges?

- Criminal conspiracy.

- Criminal conspiracy

can be hard to prove.

- Impossible in my case.

I've been here all evening.

Look at that crowd.

All witnesses to my presence.

My behavior? Impeccable, I would say.

And to my luck, there hasn't been

a run of luck like that in Monte Carlo...

since Joseph Jaggers

broke the bank in 1872.

- 1873, sir.

- There's one way, of course,

the management could avoid paying.

- What are you implying, sir?

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