The Grand Budapest Hotel Page #13

MR. MOUSTAFA (V.O.)

-- not only was Agatha immensely skilledwith a palette knife and a butter-creamflourish: she was also very brave.

Zero, keeping a look-out at the kitchen door, gives anurgent signal. Agatha swiftly covers the pastries with adamp cheese-cloth just as Herr Mendl crosses into theroom, throws open a huge brick-oven, and checks on abatch of gateaux l’Op.ra.

INT. SORTING HALL. DAY

A prison guard searches packages on a metal table. Heslices a block of cheese into quarters. He chops-up aloaf of bread into sixths. He opens a double-sized pinkpastry-box -- and pauses. He stares at the threepristine Courtesans au chocolat.

MR. MOUSTAFA (V.O.)

I believe she was born that way.

60.

The guard gingerly closes the box, slides it aside,

unscathed, and moves on to the next package.

INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE. DAY

An art-deco office looking out directly onto the clock-

tower of Lutzbahn Station. Deputy Kovacs sits behind awide desk. The box containing Madame D’s will restsbeside him. Its contents have been neatly organized intodozens of little stacks and piles.

Dmitri and his three sisters are seated across from

Deputy Kovacs in leather arm-chairs. Jopling stands inthe corner stroking a Siamese cat and staring out thewindow. Curtains sway in the gentle breeze. DeputyKovacs sounds concerned:

DEPUTY KOVACS:

Something’s missing. A crucial document,

either misplaced or, conceivably,

destroyed. I don’t know what it contains,

I don’t know what it represents, I don’tknow what it is -- but there are traces

and shadows of it everywhere.

(motioning to the stacks of paper)

Now, I don’t want to alarm you, and Idon’t expect to see any significantchange in the magistrate’s ultimatedecision vis-.-vis your own inheritance;

but, especially given the circumstancesof the death, as well as thedisappearance of the key witness in themurder case (Serge X.), I suggest weimmediately bring this matter to theattention of the municipal inspector sothere can be absolutely no question ofimpropriety at any future date. Agreed?

DMITRI:

(simply)

Not agreed.

DEPUTY KOVACS:

(puzzled)

Not agreed?

DMITRI:

(with finality)

Not agreed.

Silence. The three sisters are stoic. Jopling is stony.

Dmitri and Deputy Kovacs stare at each other blankly.

DMITRI:

Can I ask you a question, Vilmos?

61.

DEPUTY KOVACS:

Yes, Dmitri?

DMITRI:

Who you working for?

DEPUTY KOVACS:

I beg your pardon?

DMITRI:

I thought you’re supposed to be our

lawyer.

DEPUTY KOVACS:

(hesitates)

Well, in point of fact, I’m the executorof the estate. In this particularsituation -- I represent the deceased.

DMITRI:

Oh, yeah?

DEPUTY KOVACS:

Yeah. A provision for my fees wasincluded in the -

DMITRI:

Just wrap it up, and don’t make waves.

Agreed?

DEPUTY KOVACS:

(long pause)

I’m an attorney, Dmitri. I’m obligated toproceed according to the rule of law. Notagreed.

Dmitri’s eyes peer sideways. He says quietly, menacing:

DMITRI:

This stinks, sisters.

Deputy Kovacs looks insulted. Dmitri stands up, walks tothe door, and exits. The cat squeals. Jopling followsDmitri out the door. Deputy Kovacs’ mouth falls open. Hepoints, astonished, across the room:

DEPUTY KOVACS:

Did he just throw my cat out the window?

The three sisters turn around quickly. They answersimultaneously:

MARGUERITE:

I don’t think so.

62.

LAETIZIA:

Jopling?

CAROLINA:

No. Did he?

Deputy Kovacs waits for the punch-line -- but it doesnot come. He dashes to the window and looks down at the

sidewalk.

CUT TO:

A pedestrian in a bowler hat far below standing over asprawled speck on the sidewalk. He looks up.

INSERT:

Four small hammers tap rapid-fire at four half-scalechisels, chipping away into a cement pot-hole. They aremaking good progress.

INT. LUDWIG’S CELL. NIGHT

M. Gustave, Pinky, G.nther, and Ludwig work diligentlyby candle-light under a wooden table. Periodically, Wolfscoops-up the powdery debris with a soup ladle andthrows it aside.

Ludwig looks up suddenly, alerted. He holds up a finger.

LUDWIG:

Shh!

M. Gustave, Pinky, and G.nther stop tapping at once.

They listen attentively. Feet creak along the thick,

wooden floor outside the cell -- and come to a halt

directly in front of the door. Silence.

There is a loud but muffled sneeze.

The feet begin to creak again and fade-away until theyare inaudible. Ludwig signals to the others. They resumetheir tapping.

INT. GARETT. NIGHT

An attic bedroom the size of a broom-closet. The walls

and ceiling are bare planks. Thick beams hold thecrooked roof in place. A small skylight window ispropped open with a pencil. Zero and Agatha are nakedunder the rough sheets of her narrow bed. They share aplate of little miniature Courtesans au chocolat. Zero

whispers:

63.

ZERO:

There’s something I haven’t told you,

Agatha.

A look of dread crosses Agatha’s face. She saysreluctantly:

AGATHA:

OK.

ZERO:

We stole a painting. It’s very valuable(maybe five million Klubecks, in fact). Idon’t know if anyone’s even noticed it’smissing yet -- but if something shouldhappen to me and M. Gustave -

AGATHA:

(evenly)

You stole -- art?

ZERO:

(defensive)

One picture. Anyway: we need to make aplan for your survival. Hide this.

Zero produces a square of tissue-paper the size of alarge postage-stamp with neat, miniscule hand-writingall over it. Agatha squints at it.

ZERO:

It’s in code, and you might need amagnifying glass to read it, but it tellsyou exactly where and how to find “Boywith Apple”. Don’t take less than halfthe retail asking price. Also -

AGATHA:

Zero. I’m a baker.

ZERO:

(correcting her)

You’re a pastry chef. One of the best in

the -

AGATHA:

Not a “fence” (if that’s the term). Idon’t trade in stolen property.

ZERO:

(hesitates)

I said it wrong. She willed it to him!

64.

A door bangs open down the hall. In an instant: Zerojumps out of the bed, leaps with both feet at once intohis trousers, and shimmies up out of the sky-light.

CUT TO:

Zero’s point-of-view from the roof. The bedroom doorcreaks open and Herr Mendl looks in at Agatha. She isnow calmly reading her volume of romantic poetry. Hegrunts:

HERR MENDL:

Go to sleep.

AGATHA:

Yes, Herr Mendl.

The door closes. Agatha looks up to Zero. He holds upthe sliver of paper. She shakes her head and whispers:

AGATHA:

No.

ZERO:

(pause)

OK, but take it, anyway.

Zero releases the square of tissue-paper. Agatha sits upquickly as it descends, darting and fluttering, andmoves her hand around underneath it while she watches

trying to estimate where it is going to land.

At the last second, she reaches up and cleanly plucks itout of the air between thumb and finger.

Zero smiles. He runs away, shoe-less, past gutters andchimneys, jumping noiselessly from roof to roof, intothe night.

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