The Great & The Small Page #3

Riding her,

like riding a woman, or

like riding a bicycle.

F***in' babies ride

bicycles, right?

Have you ever ridden a bicycle?

No, get the f*** off my bike.

Go on.

- Do you have a bike?

Bicycle, do you have one?

Do you?

- You gonna ride that

bike Scott, or is it gonna

walk you around the

block five more times?

- Okay.

I'll ride it this time.

- You can do it, you

can do it, just pedal,

just keep pedaling okay?

Pedal, pedal, pedal,

pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal!

You can do it!

No, don't hit the car!

You're talented.

I'm turned on.

Not like corny turned on you

know, just impressed turned on.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I thought it was my hair

you liked all these years.

- Mmm.

Maybe.

This is funny, right?

- Sure.

- I'll never forget

being a little kid.

In fourth grade, in Mrs.

Slauder's class, remember?

You started late, like

months after we all started.

And you were so sad after

your mom dropped you off,

and you came and

you sat next to me.

Yep.

Big crush on you.

I wanted you to be happy then.

Am I a dumbass for hoping

for your happiness?

Do you remember that?

- I don't even remember her.

- Mrs. Slauder?

- My mom.

Okay.

How's that, better?

- Yeah.

It's a lot better.

Come here.

You know I uh,

I saw the baby.

I wasn't going to.

I told them to take it

away, take him away but,

but then I heard him crying.

And it was like, it was

like this scream crying,

and I never heard that before.

But,

it was as if I knew, only a

mommy holding it would fix it,

so, so I demanded

to see that baby.

And then,

and then I was holding our,

you know, I was

holding him and uh,

I just want you to know

that you woulda loved him.

- I'm sorry.

- For what?

- For doing that.

Making you give him away.

- Well he went to a

great home, I promise.

The social worker, this

lady, she went and took me

to meet, to meet the lady

before he was born

'cause I wanted

to be sure that

he'd be okay, so,

I went and I met

her, and I saw her.

She lived in Brookstone

near some park.

She kept talkin' 'bout

how it would be so great

'cause he'd be able to go

around the corner to this park.

Her and her husband

talked for forever,

I didn't.

I only remember that

part about the park.

I didn't hear any more of it.

- What's her name?

- Margaret.

I'm never gonna forget that.

Get in here.

- I wish I could meet him,

my kid.

- You can't.

- What are you doing?

What in the heck are you doing?

I'm sorry but, but,

but what are you doing?

- Lady, calm down.

- Don't tell me to calm down.

Don't you tell me to calm down.

Do not get to tell

me to calm down!

Because you don't know me,

and you don't get to

tell me to calm down,

so don't tell me to calm down!

- Okay.

Okay.

- I spilled my tea on you.

- You threw it at me.

Lady,

you okay?

- I don't want you

to call me lady.

I just wanna know

what you're doing.

- Um,

I um,

I'm looking for a friend.

I think he lives around here.

- He doesn't live here.

- Margaret?

It's me.

We just met.

Margaret?

- Go away.

- We need to talk.

We need to talk.

- Get out.

Get out of here.

I'm calling the police,

I'm calling right now!

- Don't, don't, stop calling,

don't call the police.

- Get out of my house!

- I, I, I need to talk to you!

- No, you don't!

- It's about the baby.

- So, this girl, um,

are you living with her,

or you're just, you're

staying with her?

- Yeah, I'm just staying.

- Okay.

- But we're,

we're just friends now.

- Hmm.

- She uh,

well, she,

she won't really let me play

around with her anymore.

- Oh, but,

play around with her,

you mean, she won't,

she won't let you have

sex with her anymore?

- Yeah.

I guess that's what I mean.

- So,

if you're not staying with

her then where do you stay?

- Just

wherever.

- Do you mean with friends?

- Just around.

- Do you like tea?

- Um, where's the baby?

- Um, I think you're

not gonna know

if, if you like your

tea if you don't try it.

- No, I don't want any tea.

Where is he?

I came here, I just wanna

know something about him.

So if you could just tell

me anything it would be...

- well I think our

time here is, is done

Scott, so.

- That's it?

- That's it.

That's it.

Scott.

Levi.

That's his name, it's Levi.

- I like it.

It's a good name.

- The woman was so friendly,

and she seemed very,

very legitimate.

The whole thing seemed kind of

odd, actually, looking back.

We've moved so many

times over the years,

and I've always had

the best experiences,

but I've never had anyone

follow me through the house

asking me what was

important over and over.

You know?

Looking back I think she was

definitely making a list,

and I have made you a very

extensive list of all the things

that are missing that

I would like returned.

Yeah, all of the

artwork is missing,

and just between you and me,

expressionism gives

me a headache,

and cubism gives

me night terrors,

but I didn't let my

ex-husband keep his art,

so I will be damned if

some little criminal

is gonna get to keep

it and enjoy it.

No way.

So what do you think?

It's like over a million

dollars, just in art.

So that's basically it.

Don't you think a full

investigation is needed?

I mean I've been robbed blind.

Blind, this is a scam,

it's a total scam,

and it needs to stop, and

I need my things back.

I need my prized possessions

retrieved immediately.

- Yeah, I hear you sweetie.

The sun don't shine on an

ass's mule during a full moon.

And I would like to offer

you my great apologies

Ms. Caldwell, and I'd like

to promise you, that I,

detective Dupre will do

my utter best to bring

this investigation to

its full conclusion.

Now as to your things,

your prized possessions

which you would like to

have returned to you,

it greatly pains me to tell

you that I cannot do that.

What a pleasure it

was to meet you.

This is a beautiful home,

a gorgeous home really.

You are lovely, lovely people.

- Hey, lovely people my ass,

aren't you going to take

pictures or fingerprints,

or do something?

- Oh that is very wise,

what you just said.

Actually, that's

already been done.

I don't do that kind of

gathering of material.

No, what I tend to do

is I study it, you see,

I interpret it or

analyze it if you will.

Okay, I'mma check one

thing first before I go.

I see here, where

do I have that?

No.

Oh here we go.

So you went on your

vacation October five,

and then you scheduled

your move for October 7th.

That correct?

- Yes.

- Okay.

Oh wow.

May I, do you mind?

- Pow.

Yeah.

- yeah.

- Well, they do live like kings.

- Oh yeah.

It's just f***ing

money though, ain't it?

You see that, right there?

- They're home?

- Yeah, it's part of

the plan, come on.

Just grow a pair of f***ing

balls and come on walk.

Hold the Bible up,

hold the Bible up.

- What?

- Hope the f***ing

Bible up and smile.

- Ah, sorry we got lost.

But the good lord has once

again guided us to safety.

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