The Great Ziegfeld Page #12

there. Put the clown next to him.

He's a funny fellow,

and there's the lion-tamer.

Gosh, I bet he's a brave fellow too.

And there's the drum major.

And here is the strongman.

We'll call him Sandow.

- And who is this?

- Well, that's...

Oh! Of course.

That's little Harriet Hoctor.

I've always wanted

to give her a chance.

I'll tell you what. You hold her for a

minute, and we'll bring her on later.

Now let's put it all back of a curtain,

just as I do in the theater.

Now, this is the curtain.

- What's the laugh, Jack?

- This article on Ziegfeld.

Says he's broke and can't

borrow a nickel from any bank.

He wouldn't have to borrow

if he'd commercialized.

He'd never send out

a number two company.

He wanted the public to see

his best production.

Why doesn't he stick to his Follies?

That other show is terrible.

- Guess the old boy's washed-up.

- He's been slipping for years.

- White and Carroll have got it all over him.

- Bob...

Let me have a cold towel, will you?

Well, the guy's getting old.

Yeah, and broke. He won't

have another hit on Broadway.

- Isn't someone making a theater for him?

- Yeah. It's to be his monument.

It's about time.

He could use a monument.

- I don't know you fellows.

- You got nothing on me. I don't know you.

You ought to. You've been burying me

for five minutes. I'm Ziegfeld. You're right.

I'm not gonna have another hit

on Broadway. I'm gonna have four.

Four at one time.

You get that? Four!

And all hits.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld!

You forgot your tie.

He's gonna have four hits,

and he hasn't got a tie left.

Flo.

Darling.

Why did you come upstairs without

saying hello? Are you trying to elude me?

Well, I'm not feeling very well, dear.

Poor darling. You're just tired.

Where's your tie?

What do you think of that? I...

I must have left it

in the barbershop this afternoon.

And you've been around

without it ever since?

Darling, that isn't like you.

What's wrong, Flo?

Billie, I'm all through.

- Through with what?

- Everything. I'm slipping. I'm...

...getting old.

And who told you that?

- Three men in the barbershop.

- That's why you forgot your tie.

Yes, I've never done anything

like that in my whole life.

Isn't that tragic? For the first time

in your long career, you forgot a tie.

It's a calamity.

- Who were those men, Flo?

- I don't know. I never saw them before.

They said I'd never produce another hit.

And what did you say?

I told them I'd have four on Broadway

at the same time.

- Sounds more like you.

- Yeah, but it was only a bluff.

I'm sorry, dear.

I don't mean to worry you.

Where's Patricia?

She's having her dinner.

- You came home very late, dear.

- Yes, dear. I'm sorry. I...

I've been so worried.

The play is such a terrible failure.

But you're not, darling.

Afraid I am.

- Well, shall we have some dinner?

- Flo.

I'm disappointed in you.

I didn't think you'd ever lose

confidence in yourself.

But I must be the failure, not you.

- Oh, Billie.

- No, I mean it, darling.

Before we were married...

...you never thought of failure

even when you were broke.

It was your sublime superiority

more than anything else...

...that made me admire you so much.

Please don't change, Flo.

Don't let Patricia and me

become a worry to you.

We don't expect you

to reduce your life to just us.

I want you to go right on

being just as you always were.

I would never be jealous...

...because with your love of beauty,

you could never be cheap or common.

So in whatever you do...

...you need never fear me.

And what is more important...

...don't be afraid of yourself.

I'm not gonna be afraid, Billie.

All right, young man.

I'll give you a chance to prove it.

In my vault, I have all the jewelry

you've ever given me...

...even the queen's crown...

...and some very good bonds.

They're all yours...

...on one condition.

That you keep your promise to those three

men and have four hits on Broadway.

- Is that a bargain?

- Oh, Billie.

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Just a minute.

Mr. Ziegfeld, it's Police Inspector Doyle.

He says it's important.

- Why didn't you say so? Send him in.

- All right.

All right, Mr. Doyle.

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Hello, inspector.

- We got them, all right.

- You did? That's wonderful.

It is wonderful,

with the descriptions you gave us.

- Where are they?

- Right outside.

- Bring them in.

- All right, sir.

Bring those birds in here.

- Here they are.

- What's going on?

- Pipe down, pipe down.

- What's the charge against these men?

- Murder.

- Murder?

Yes, murder.

About a year ago, these three gentlemen

killed me and buried me.

- Killed? Buried?

- Yes. In a Times Square barbershop.

- Remember?

- Oh, yes, I remember. Don't you?

Now, I'm going to give each of you

a box to all four of my shows.

Four hits, all in one season.

And then I want you to tell me whether

or not you still think I'm washed-up.

I'm sorry, but this is the only way

I could locate you.

I knew that if you were to be found at all,

Inspector Doyle was the one to do it.

Sam, have Goldie take their reservations

for whatever nights they wish.

- Good day, gentlemen.

- This way.

- Thank you.

- That's getting even with a vengeance.

That's not a bad ending

for a practical joke, is it?

Goldie, take these gentlemen's

names and addresses.

Don't you realize what you

may have let yourself in for?

- What?

- They can sue you for false arrest.

- And the police department.

- Don't you realize we have nothing...

...to worry about anymore?

- I hope so.

No need to hope.

You know what I've been doing?

- What?

- Buying stocks. I've bought over a million.

- Outright?

- No, on margin.

But all solid securities.

When I've paid for them, I'm gonna

buy another million and another.

- Sam, I'm going to be really rich.

- I hope you're right, sir.

But the market's been behaving

very queerly these last few days.

- Yes?

- Croydon & Company on the phone.

- Put them on.

- Been trying to get you.

They're my broker. Hello? Speaking.

Oh. Well, what happened?

Down 20 to 40 points?

How much?

- Three hundred thousand?!

- What is it?

Oh, no, no, no! Don't do that!

I'll cover. I'll get the money

to you in just a little while.

- Will you put Holloway on the phone?

- Flo, what is it?

The market, Sam, it's crashed.

I've got to get $300,000

in cash, immediately.

- How are we gonna do it?

- I don't know.

- Maybe I could borrow it from a bank.

- On what?

On your shows.

It's too late. I've already mortgaged the

shows for the first payments on the stock.

What's that?

But you've got to locate him!

Yes, I'll cover. I'll get the money to you

in a while. Just hold the wire.

- Sam, get Billings.

- Yes, sir.

Try his house, his office,

anywhere, but get Billings!

Mr. Nagus, we haven't received your

check, and your margin's wiped out.

Hello, Mr. Billings. I'll be right with you.

No, we can't, Mr. Nagus.

I'm sorry, but we can't hold

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