The Hard Word Page #3

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A million?

Can't even buy a decent house

for that these days.

This bastard has got better taste

than I thought.

This is a f***ing classic.

You should read this.

it's about the joys

of modern marriage.

Ill read it on my next honeymoon.

Forget it, Frank. Ive retired.

Fine. That's fine.

You spend the first 20 years

of your retirement right here.

is that so?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

And Ill be

in the next f***ing ceil...

...unless we go for the big one.

Yeah, right. The big one.

I have got the scoop

on the biggest pile of cash

in history.

You'll be out tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Why might you be doing us

this big favour, Frank?

Something tells me

you might prefer keeping me here.

I need you, Dale.

You're the best.

Couple of cookies, eh?

Some cookies, boys.

Give you a bit of ham there, mate.

Hey, look what I found, mate!

Look at those.

Oh, sh*t!

Sausage - you shouldnt have.

Oh!

Happy birthday, mate.

Oh... Thanks!

Blood sausage,

my absolute all-time favourite.

Did youse make this yourselves?

Oh, yeah. Tony give us a hand.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks, Tone.

No worries.

Thanks. This is the best present.

I hear

it's your birthday,

you're still a f***ing prick,

I haven't got a present,

but Ill let you suck my dick!

Right. Look in here.

Navarone. Hey, Dave! Navarone, mate.

Any chance?

50 to 1, mate. Not a f***ing prayer.

Hey, I got one. Sun God, 6 to 1 .

That's the favourite.

Half your f***ing luck!

Hear that?

Happy birthday, mate.

You get out tomorrow, don't youse?

Yep.

Scoot down to the Melbourne races.

No, 'cause punting's for mugs, eh?

Here you go, mate.

Oh!

You want some?

No, mate. They're yours.

No, it's for you.

Hey?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah?

What are you doing here?

Expecting someone else?

No. I was just going out.

Veuve.

Last time you popped Veuve

was at Porky Carson's funeral.

I like funerals.

All those guilty secrets

dead and buried.

So whose turn is it this time?

Ours. it's our turn, baby.

Yeah? Someone gonna knock us off?

it's a possibility.

This is why we're out of here.

Yeah? Where are we

supposed to be going?

France.

What would we do in France?

Get pissed and look at paintings.

Sh*t, I don't know.

We could get pissed

and look at paintings here.

We can't. We're gone this week.

What about Dale?

What about him?

He is my husband.

We are married, remember.

You've acted pretty married to me

for more than two years now.

Yeah, well, I needed

someone to look after me.

Oh, come on, Frank.

I did have fun.

Fun? Im f***ing crazy about you.

You know I am.

Come on. What do you say?

We don't want it to get messy.

Hi, we're not at home.

Leave a message

and well get back to you.

Not the only one, am I?

No. There's Dale.

I don't mean him.

I mean since he's been inside

you've been f***ing other people.

Haven't you?

it's none of your business.

Who do you think

Ive been doing it all for, Carol?

Oh, you've been doing it all

for Frank, Frank.

Come off it.

I know what you're like.

Yeah?

Oh, what am I like?

Greedy little tart.

Uses anyone stupid enough

to take you seriously.

Oh, you think you can just buy me?

That's no sale, sweetheart.

F*** you and f*** Dale,

'cause in a few days

Ill have my hands on $ 20 million!

Yeah.

Where would you get 20 million bucks?

I got a hot tip on a horse.

Oh, f***, you're pathetic. Get out.

Ill get out

when Im good and ready.

Well, Dale will be home tomorrow.

I suggest you're out by then.

Dale?

Oh, no. He won't be back

for a long time.

So you may as well

learn to live with it.

The question is...

...could I learn to live with you?

You could live with

20 million bucks, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah, no problem at all.

All the money in the world won't

save you if Dale finds out about us.

Dale couldnt hurt anyone.

He hasn't got the guts.

Then you haven't been

paying attention.

Well, boys, this is it.

I have to say

well be sorry to see you go.

Bloody bet you will, sir.

What are your...plans

for the future?

Dale and his wife are looking at

a B&B in the country.

it's very nice.

Ah, I see. And you, Malcolm?

Butchering.

Going back into the butchering, sir.

Yes, of course. Ive heard

about your culinary skills.

The other prisoners will be sorry

to see you leave too.

What's the matter with him?

I don't know. He was like this

when I went for him.

Spewing!

Come on!

What the f*** are they doing?!

Well miss the f***ing plane. F***!

What plane?

Plane to Melbourne.

Plane to Melbourne?

Sh*t, just keep it down,

will you, Dale? Please.

I don't know anything

about a plane to Melbourne.

I said shut it, Dale.

You haven't told the old guv

about this one, obviously.

What are we going to Melbourne for?

it's Tuesday tomorrow, isn't it?

The first Tuesday in November.

The first Tuesday in November, Mal.

Melbourne Cup, mate. Fantastic!

Ive never been to the Cup.

Thanks, Frank.

Food poisoning.

Serious case, actually.

Does anybody know

if he's eaten anything unusual

over the past 24 hours?

Oh, sh*t.

I beg your pardon?

Sausages. I made him

special sausages for his birthday.

It's been a bit warm.

Let's hope it's not salmonella.

In any case, he'll have to stay

In the infirmary for observation.

Well pick him up when's he better.

Let's go, fellas.

We don't go anywhere without Shane.

The plane. The plane!

It's actually an aeroplane,

not a plane. There's a difference.

We're gonna stick around for a while.

That's impossible.

Youll have to leave.

Ive signed the release forms.

Im feeling a bit crook myself,

you know?

What about you?

Not so hot, mate.

Maybe we did eat

some of them sausages.

That's what Im thinking. Yep.

Oh, for f***'s sake.

Hello?

Yeah, it's Paul.

I spoke to a friend about that job.

No, I want the English bloke.

The black fella? He was funny.

I want funny.

Job description's changed

since we last spoke.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I need someone who can handle

rough stuff.

Thought you said

no one would get hurt.

That's during the job.

After the job, three people will.

So that changes the split, right?

This Pommy - what's his name?

His name's Tarzan.

Yeah, that's the one. I like him.

Let me get this other bloke...

Just book him!

it's not a beauty parade.

See you at the house at 3:00.

I just heard.

is he alright?

He's got a terrible fever.

Nurse, nurse! My thing has come out.

Im pissing all over the bed!

I can do that

if you want to see to him.

You're on the mend?

Oh, Im feeling much better.

Hey.

Let's go, eh?

Must be good to see your mum, eh?

Right. Get dressed. Plane to catch.

Ah, excuse us, please.

Yeah, he can't go anywhere.

He's still sick.

He's been discharged, ma'am.

I assure you hell be

properly taken care of.

Will I see you again?

Hell call you.

Hm.

Hell call you tomorrow.

Relax, fellas.

Make yourselves at home.

We were sort of planning on making

ourselves at home today, Frank -

at home.

Take it easy, mate.

Just a couple more hours.

And then what?

Then...

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