The Hateful Eight Page #5

Minnie and Sweet Dave went to visit her

mother on the north side of the mountain.

- What?

- Yeah.

- They ain't here?

- Yes, they're visiting her mother.

- Her mother?

- Yes.

I never knew Minnie had a mother.

Everybody's got a mother.

Yeah, I suppose.

- And she left you in charge?

- Si.

That sure don't sound like Minnie.

Are you callin' me a liar?

Not yet, I ain't.

- But it sounds peculiar, though,

- What sound peculiar?

Well first of, Minnie never struck me

as the sentimental type.

Secondly,

I can't imagine Sweet

Dave liftin' his fat ass

outta' his chair long

enough to fetch well water,

unless Minnie was

layin' a fryin' pan upside his head.

Along takin' trips to the north side.

That sounds a whole lot like you're calling

me a liar, mi negro amigo.

Yeah it do sound a whole

lot like, don't it?

But I still haven't done it yet.

Minnie still serve food?

- Do you consider stew food?

- Yes. - Then we serve food.

She still stinkin' up the place

with her "Old Quail" pipe tobacco?

Minnie dosen't smoke a pipe.

She rolls her own.

"Red Apple Tobacco"

But mi negro amigo,

I think you already know this.

Yeah I do, Senor Bob.

Just seein' if you do.

- Fill me up, O.B.

- Yeah.

Goddamn it!

Thank you.

Well cut my legs off and call me Shorty...

is that Genaral Sanford Smithers I see?

You've got a good eye son.

Well, I'll be double dogged damned!

General Sandy "Don't give a damn" Smithers!

Captain Chris Mannix, Mannix Marauders.

- Erskine's boy?

- Yes sir.

May I sit down, Sir?

According to the Yankees,

it's a free country.

Genaral Sandy Smithers...

boy...

oh boy.

Did my daddy talk about you.

I heard you gave those

Blue Bellies sweet hell.

Me and my boys did our part.

Just like Erskine and

his boys did their part.

Hell yeah, we did.

- Yankees sons of b*tches?

- I never knew your father, son.

But, I always respected his resolve.

Thank you for saying that, General. Your

respect woulda' meant the world to him.

Can I get ya' some coffy?

- That would be nice.

- Well, how about a blanked?

That would be even nicer.

Hell, you know what,

you can have mine.

Here we go General.

So what brings you out Wyoming way, sir?

If ya' don't mind me askin'?

My boy.

You gotta' boy that lives in Red Rock?

My son, Chester

Charles Smithers,

he died out here a few years back.

Forgive me sir.

No forgiveness needed, son.

Like I said, it was a few years back.

It was after he served his service.

He came out here to the hills of Wyoming,

to make his fortune.

Never to be heard from again.

I bought him a symbolic plot

in the Red Rock cemetery.

I'm here to advise the stone maker

on his headstone.

Was he a goner fer' sure?

No chance he could be livin'

"the cold life" out in

the woods? It's a rough life,

but folks can learn it.

If he had done what he came here to do,

he'd a come home.

Close it, close it!

You have to hold it closed

while I nail it shut!

Really? Who's the idiot

who broke the damn door?

F***ing hold it low.

Okay.

Hold it, mi negro amigo.

We need two pieces of wood.

Ola mi cabron.

There you go, motherf***er!

- That's a lotta' hats, Senor Bob?

- Huh?

Considering Minnie's no

hats indoors policy? Which,

If I remember it correctly,

that was one of them Bar of Iron rules,

kinda rule,

she'd want kept up in her absence.

You seem to have a laissez faire

attitude when it comes to the hats.

I'm guilty.

I have a laissez faire

attitude about the hats.

How about we forget

about the hats today,

considering there's a

blizzard going on and all,

and make tomorrow "No Hat Day"?

A large black dog.

Labrador.

You know my daddy,

I said that my daddy!

Always said that Davis

was a courages man.

But he should have put capital

in Montgomery and not Richmond.

Yes, Sir. I agree with that the army in

North Virginia would've been used in a...

I said the army of North Virginia would

have been used in very different way.

Shut up!

O.B.?

Do you know that n*gger, Sir?

I don't know that n*gger.

But I know he's a n*gger.

And that's all I need to know.

Well that n*gger just ain't any n*gger.

- That n*gger is-

- General Sanford Smithers?

Battle of Baton Rouge?

Inform the n*gger in the

Cavalry officers uniform

that I had a division

of Confederates under my commend,

in Baton Rouge.

Major N*gger, General Smithers wishes me to

inform you... I heard 'em hillbilly.

Inform this old cracker that

I was in Baton Rouge also.

On the other side.

Oh that's interesting.

General Smithers,

he said that he was also in Baton Rouge.

- On the other-

- Cap't Mannix, tell the n*gger,

that I don't acknowledge

n*ggers in Northern uniforms.

You captured a whole

Colored Command that day.

But not one Colored Trooper

made it to a camp, did they?

We had neither the time or the food.

Nor the inclination

to care for Northern horses,

and least of all Northern n*ggers.

- So we shot 'em where they stood.

- Gentlemen,

Gentlemen,

I know Americans aren't apt

to let a little thing like an unconditional

surrender get in the way of a good war.

But I strongly suggest we don't restage

The Battle of Baton Rouge,

during a blizzard

in Minnie's Haberdashery.

Now, my Nubian friend,

while I realize passions are high,

that was a while ago.

And if you shoot this

un-armed old man I guarantee

I will hang you by the

neck until you are dead.

Once we arrive in Red Rock.

I damn will guarantee that too.

Yeah Warren,

that's the problem with old men.

You can kick 'em down

the stairs and say it's

a accident, but ya'

can't just shoot 'em.

Gentlemen, since we

may be trapped here,

close together like for a few days,

may I suggest a possible solution?

We divide Minnie's in half.

The Northern side

and The Southern Side.

With the dinner table

operating as a neutral territory.

We could say that the

fireplace side of the room,

acts as a symbolic representative of...

Georgia

While the bar, represents...

Philadelphia!

As long aas the bar's Philadelphia I agree.

We still got that deal

we talked about in the wagon?

I help you protect your eight thousand,

you help me protect my ten?

One of them fella's

is not what he says he is.

What is he?

He's in cahoots with this one

that's what he is.

One of them, maybe even two of 'em,

is here to see Domergue goes free.

And to accomplish that goal,

they'll kill everbody in here.

And they got 'em coupla' days.

So all they gotta' do

is sit tight and wait for

a winda' of opportunity.

And that's when they strike,

huh b*tch?

If you say so, John.

Are you sure you're not

just being paranoid?

Our best bet is this,

duplicitous fella' ain't

as cool a customer as Daisy here.

He won't have the leather patience

it takes to just sit here and wait.

But waiting for an oportunity, and knowing

it's the right one, isn't so easy.

If he can't handle it, he'll stop waiting.

He'll try and create his opportunity.

And that's when Mr.Jumpy reveals himself.

Rate this script:3.9 / 15 votes