The Haunted Mansion Page #2

---

It's just a little detour.

How long is it gonna take?

No more than 20 minutes.|20 minutes tops.

You kids should be excited.

You're gonna see Mommy and Daddy|in real-estate action.

Somebody's calling me.|Who's calling me?

Hello. Jim Evers,|Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Stan, how you doing?|What's the latest?

Really?|The Selmer property?

Tomorrow?

Wow. I'm kind of out of town|right now.

Hey. But, hey, listen.|Maybe I could come back early.

Oh, no.|I can't come back early.

No, I can't come back early.

Maybe we should just take care|of this on Monday.

All right?

Monday?

Monday sounds fantastic.

Okay.|I'll talk to you on Monday.

We're gonna talk on Monday.

Are we still in America?

Here it is, right here.|Okay? All right?

Yeah, that's a whole lot|of gate.

They must have a big|possum problem down here.

That's some big possum.

Didn't they know we were coming?

Of course they knew.

Maybe there's a call box|or something.

Hello?!

Hello!|The Evers are here!

Yes, we're here now!

Nobody's answering.

Now I got to get out in the dirt|with my brand-new shoes on.

Wow.

How are we gonna get in?

What if you give me a boost,|and I'll go around the back?

They're probably old.|We'll surprise them.

You'll probably kill them.

Let's just go.|It's getting late.

You know, Sara,|you give up too easy.

You got to be more patient.|The Evers way is to be patient.

All right.|We're in business.

Let's go, let's go.

Let's do this.

Wow.

Bob Vila would have|a field day with this place.

Hey, Megan,|don't slam the door like that.

It's very sensitive.

It's a car, Dad.

Ah!|It's not just a car.

It's a very delicate piece|of machinery.

Shh. She didn't mean|what she just said.

She didn't mean that.

Come on.|Let's see what's around back.

I'm getting hungry.

Me too.

Don't worry.|We'll be 20 minutes tops.

Hey, Dad,|when we get to the lake,

can I go to that pizza shop|where I ate that whole pizza,

and when we got to the cabin,

I threw up and you still saw|the pepperoni chunks in it?

Yeah, we can go there if we can|avoid a repeat performance.

Wow.

Now, that's something|you don't see every day.

Oh, my God.

Dead people?

Hey, honey.

You know they have, uh,|dead people in the backyard?

Well, some people have pools.

Some people have private|cemeteries. It happens.

You're gonna sell a house|with this?

This historical sprawling manor|with spacious grounds? Yes.

Hey, that's good.|We'll put that on the listing.

And leave out|all the dead people?

We'll just stick|to the bright side.

Oh, no.|I got my good suit on.

Oh.

You think it's gonna stop?

Oh, I hope it's not raining|at the lake.

When you're at work|with Mommy and Daddy,

you're always on|your best behavior, right?

Okay.|Whoo!

Look at the size|of these knockers.

Ever see anything|like that before?

Hello?!|Evers Real Estate!

Evers Real Estate!

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Hello?

We're the Evers from|Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Hi!

Have you ever seen|anything like this?

Never.

Sara, this puts us|in a whole new league.

Smells like Grandma's house.

Worse.|Smells like Grandma.

This place is just|a little dusty.

We'll get a cleaning crew to|come out here and shine it up.

This place would be sparkling|from top to bottom.

Mom, this place has spiders.

Sara Evers.

Yes, I'm Sara.

My name is Ramsley.

Hello, Ramsley.

I'm Jim Evers|of Evers & Evers Real Estate

at your service.

We were not expecting... others.

Yes, we were on our way|out of town.

Yeah, then when we realized|the enormity

and complexity|of your unique estate,

we wanted to commit|the full resources

of Evers & Evers Real Estate.

At Evers & Evers, we want you|to be happy forevers and evers.

Please accept|this waterproof calendar

as a token of our appreciation.

Very well.

We shall have to place|other settings.

Who do you have|the settings for?

Master Gracey wishes to discuss|his affairs over dinner.

Oh, I'm afraid we have plans.

Honey, we can't stay for dinner.

Oh, yes.|But we mustn't be rude, darling.

What about our family adventure?

Yeah, Dad.

We'll just have some soup,|and then we'll get going, okay?

All right?

Wow.

Wow.

Nice.|Very nice.

Good job.|Good job.

Hey, Megan, how'd you like to|eat like this every day at home?

The master will be|with you shortly.

Carry on.

I said, "Carry on. "|He walks off.

Have you ever seen|a fireplace this amazing?

Incredible.

Ah, we could have one heck of a|wienie roast in that thing, huh?

Seriously.|Look at this detail.

I've never seen|anything like this.

- Haven't you?

My grandfather spared no expense|when he built this mansion.

Well, your grandfather had|really good taste in tchotchkes.

I'm Jim Evers|of Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Charmed to make|your acquaintance, sir.

Edward.|Edward Gracey.

Uh, this is my wife, Sara.

You want to come meet|Mr. Gracey?

Very nice to meet you,|Mr. Gracey.

And this is our daughter, Megan,|and our son, Michael.

You have very beautiful|children, Ms. Evers.

I kicked in|some chromosomes, too.

Children.|Madam.

Oh. Nice.

Okay.

Thank you.

The master was very pleased

when he heard you could come|on such short notice.

Normally we would not have|called you here so abruptly.

But we had no other choice.

What do you got,|termites or something?

Big house like this must have|a lot of termites.

No. But lately there have been|more... disturbances.

What do you think|of the house, Ms. Evers?

Oh.

I think it's|absolutely incredible.

The Italian influence.

The Renaissance style|of the molding.

The attention to detail|is stunning.

You never see houses like this.|Or at least I don't.

Great care and love went into|the building of this mansion.

This house is my inheritance.

My birthright.

But lately it's become|too much to bear.

Tell me, Mr. Evers.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Ghosts?

Yeah. Sure.|I believe in ghosts. Yeah.

I don't think it's a good idea|to put that on the listing.

You should talk about how many|bathrooms are in the house.

People love bathrooms.

We should play up the toilet|angle and leave out ghosts.

I think that'd be best.

The storm has swollen the river.

How's that?

The storm has flooded the road.

I'm afraid there will be|no leaving the mansion tonight.

What?

Of course you are all more than|welcome to spend the night here.

Oh, no.|I really don't think we should.

We've got plans.

I'm afraid there's no other way.

Ramsley will show you|to your rooms.

I believe the children will be|comfortable in this room.

Yeah.|Real homey.

You'll be fine.

Wow.|Hey, listen.

When you flush the toilet, check|and see how quickly it refills.

Good night, Dad.

Good night.

I hope you and the madame will|find this room to your liking.

Yeah.|It's great.

It'll be like spending the night|in a fine hotel.

Will there be anything else|that you require, sir?

Are you gonna get us|some chocolates?

Pardon?

You know, the little chocolates|they put on the hotel pillows.

Sometimes they have chocolates|on the pillow.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes