The Heat Page #10

Synopsis: Sarah Ashburn, an FBI agent, is extremely ambitious and has her eye on a promotion, but she doesn't get along with her co-workers. She is sent to Boston to uncover the identity of an elusive drug lord, Mr. Larkin, by tracking down his proxy, Rojas, and is told that she'll have a good shot at the promotion if she finds Larkin. When she arrives in Boston, she learns that Larkin has been eliminating his competition and taking over their operations. She learns that Rojas is in Boston PD custody and goes to see him to ask him what he knows about Larkin, but is warned that the cop who arrested Rojas, Shannon Mullins, is very territorial, and she is not exactly sociable. When the two meet they don't get along. When Mullins learns why Ashburn is in Boston, she decides to find Larkin herself. Ashburn is told by her boss to work with Mullins, but it won't be easy because Ashburn does things by the book while Mullins does things her way.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Paul Feig
Production: 20th Century Fox
  7 wins & 16 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
60
Rotten Tomatoes:
65%
R
Year:
2013
117 min
$158,300,000
Website
8,132 Views


And even if you were...

...you still

couldn't stop me.

I have more invested in this

case than any of you a**holes.

And now you f***ed it up!

That's another f***ed-up area of my life.

Thanks for bringing it up.

No, this was just

emailed to me.

Okay, fine. I guess

I'm out of line, huh.

I'll step back and see

what you a**holes can do.

Go U.S.A. Let's go.

We got to get my family out.

They're gonna kill them.

I'll talk to Hale. The FBI

can arrange everything.

Are you kidding?

We got a mole in there.

I'm assuming it's the

albino, but we don't know.

It could be Levy.

It could be somebody

from my precinct.

It could be your boss,

Puss in Boots.

We are going in there by

ourselves and doing it now.

Are you with me or not?

Okay.

This is bullshit!

Why should we uproot our lives

because you're an a**hole?

Don't talk to her like that.

It's not her fault.

You want to bring everyone?

No, but it'd be

like Schindler's List.

Dad! Come on, we cannot

fit that in the car!

I don't want them

to take my treasures.

No, no, no!

I thought you were inside.

Say bye-We-

Say bye-bye. No. I'll call

you when I get there.

You are so rude.

I know. I'm so sorry.

This is my house!

Just go outside.

Where are you going? Outside!

I'll be right back

I can see through your shirt.

Oh, God, are you serious?

Oh, my God.

What are you doing

with the bat?

Just let 'em try to come over here, Shan.

Just let 'em try.

They're not gonna

throw soft balls at you.

They're gonna shoot you, moron.

Get your bag.

Would you get over yourself

for Christ's sake?

Bring it on, motherfuckers.

Not you, Mrs. Amendola.

Hi. Can I drive?

No, but if you could

make your way around...

Get out and let me drive.

I'm a really good driver!

Mullins! Your mom.

Our lives are in danger. I

may have to change my name.

So if you get a call from

someone named Carla, it's me!

When did you become

such a princess?

You make it impossible!

All right, seatbelts, everyone!

Come on, buddy...

come on.

Right here, buddy!

Right here!

What the f*** is this?

That's my puppy. I got

him four months ago.

I named him Kevin Garnett.

You're an a**hole!

You gotta see

the cock on this thing.

Move. We're not bringing this

f***ing horse to a motel.

We gotta get Gina.

For what?

Because you put her

f***ing life in danger!

Nobody gives a sh*t about her.

If I'm going, Gina's going!

I'm not going

unless we get Gina.

Just get in.

We're getting Gina.

Move your feet,

I'll chop 'em off!

We're going to Gina's!

I hope a truck

hits us and we all die.

What the f*** is

this girl doing?

Could she go any slower? Could

she physically go slower?

Go get your girlfriend.

She's fine, Ma!

I forgot my curling

iron, Mrs. Mullins!

Come on, Gina, get in the car!

What the f***?

I got you the rollie so you could roll the bag!

So get over here!

You kidding?

You bought me

a bag for Christmas

so that I could

carry my own luggage?

Gina, come on...

let's go.

I'm gonna get you

a dick-sucker for Christmas

so I don't have to

do it no more.

Go get her!

Jesus! I'm going!

Gina! You really

didn't say that.

Oh, that's why you're here.

Go get her.

Come on, Pete, just break

up with this girl!

Let's go, let's go!

You're making a scene,

you a**holes!

You think you're man enough?

You f***ing man enough?

Knock it off!

Just knock it off!

I got this!

Hey! A**holes!

Get in the car! Get in the car!

Get in the car!

Did she just pull out a gun?

You know what happens now?

You don't get this one!

So, Jason,

your family seems nice.

Yeah, we have our good days.

My make-up is

in that one.

I'll rip your pants off!

If we just knew where that

shipment was coming to,

we would have

Larkin and Julian.

They would both be there,

and we could get them.

I'm just happy that Jason

is out of there for now.

Yeah.

Shame, though.

Having your brother on the

inside would be a coup for us.

That's what you want to say?

Because you're

saying that out loud.

You would say exactly the same

thing if it wasn't your brother.

We're done talking about this.

So if it was just

some random drug dealer,

you wouldn't send him back in?

If it was someone like Rojas

We're not talking about Rojas.

We're talking about my

brother, you fuckwit.

We all have a lot to lose

if we don't catch Larkin.

What do you have to lose?

I have a lot.

Some bullshit promotion?

You don't give

a sh*t about my family

or if Jason gets out

there and gets killed.

I feel you're not being honest.

Because nobody forced your brother

to get involved with drugs.

You're an a**hole for that.

Okay, that's not

helping, either.

I'm trying to

create a dialogue.

Note that I start my

statements with "I feel".

Oh, I feel like

you're an a**hole.

You know what I feel?

I feel that you have worn that

shirt every day this week.

And I feel that you

turning it inside out

does not make it a new shirt.

Well, I feel like it does

Oh, really? Well, I

feel I disagree.

Must be nice.

What?

Must be really nice

for you to know everything.

To be so much smarter

than everybody else.

I don't profess to know everything,

but I do know quite a bit.

What I know is accurate

and scientifically proven,

and I share that

information with you.

If you have

a problem with that,

tune me out like you always do.

Help! He's choking!

Okay, I've got it.

Somebody call an ambulance!

Check his mouth!

There's nothing there!

Okay, lay him down.

Sir, relax.

Everything will be fine.

Let me get his head back.

He's choking. I need a

knife and a straw, please!

A knife and a straw!

Why a knife and a straw?

I'm going to perform

an emergency tracheotomy.

I'll need a glass of vodka.

Vodka! It's a Denny's!

For sterilization.

Hot water!

Do you know what you're doing?

Technically, no...

...but I've been

doing some research

and I feel fairly

confident I know how.

He's still choking!

Sir, what I'm going

to do is find your...

Please don't put that in there.

Shh. Stop touching me.

I think the cricothyroid membrane is here.

I'll make a small incision...

Let go of my hand.

Please don't do that.

I'm going to make

a small incision.

The reason I'm doing this...

is because you're choking.

I'm gonna cut in... just a

little bigger...

That goes in

deeper than I thought.

Now I'm going to

insert my fingers.

Don't put your finger in there!

There is the membrane.

It's a f***ing horror show! Don't

put your fingers in there!

Sir, what I'm going to do is

insert the straw in the hole...

...and it will allow the

oxygen to get to your brain.

In one moment, you will feel the

oxygen flow into your brain.

That's not oxygen.

That's not oxygen!

That's a lot of blood.

Oh, my God,

there's so much blood!

I don't know what I'm doing!

Stop crying!

You did this!

When's the ambulance coming?

I got it! Move!

I'm so sorry

So much blood!

You a**hole!

You probably

could have just pulled

the piece of pancake

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Katie Dippold

Katie Dippold is a screenwriter, actress, and comedian. She was a writer on the NBC series Parks and Recreation and wrote The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The Heat won the 2014 American Comedy Award for best screenplay and favorite comedy of the year at the People's Choice Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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