The Heavenly Kid Page #2

I mean, I got nothing in common

with this kid.

He's a complete square.

He even puked on me.

He is your assignment.

- What if I don't take it?

- You want to go Uptown, don't you?

You're on your own, kid.

"But soft!

"What light through yonder window breaks?

"It is the east

"And Juliet is the sun!

"Arise, fair sun

"And kill the envious moon

"Who is already sick and pale with grief

"That thou, her maid

art far more fair than she"

"That thou art far more fair than she."

What does Shakespeare mean...

by these words that all but sing

with lyric beauty?

Mr. Gallo?

Beats the hell out of me.

Lenny.

It means that...

that as beautiful as the moon is...

it pales beside the beauty of his ladylove.

Exactly.

Smart kid.

But still a spaz.

- Gag me.

- Who's getting married?

Wedding cake at lunch?

Maybe it was Debbie and Professor Walker.

Hey, kid, knock it off.

Rafferty?

- Where are you?

- 97 F.M.

I'm keeping my eye on you. Understand?

Hey, will you cut me some slack?

No fooling around, understand?

Stick to your assignment.

That's what I've been doing, Rafferty.

You can count on me.

Rafferty.

Rafferty?

Lenny.

Lenny, guess what Mr. Finley told me

after class?

Hi, Melissa.

He said that you analyze literature

better than anyone he's ever had.

Ever.

Isn't that exciting?

Yeah, I guess.

He's saying you're really special.

Yeah, right. I'm so special,

how come everyone thinks I'm a jerk?

- Nobody thinks that.

- Come on, Melissa.

Nobody cares about that stuff.

- I do.

- Yeah, but you're different.

Look, I have to go.

Let's get together later.

Maybe we can study or something?

Yeah, okay.

Hi, Sharon.

What do you want, douchebag?

- Nothing.

- Then what are you doing here?

I came to apologize to Sharon

about last night.

Okay, she heard you. Now move it.

You hard of hearing, pecker-head?

I said, "split."

Watch this.

I hope you're not thinking of taking

another dive.

'Cause I ain't going to be down there

to catch you this time.

Where did you come from?

Let's just say I dropped in.

Sorry I was in such a hurry this morning.

My name is Bobby.

Lenny.

Nice view you got here, Len.

Yeah, it's okay.

Must be good for thinking.

Yeah.

Look, Len, let's cut the sh*t.

You need a lot of help,

and that's why I'm here.

I've been watching you.

I know how you feel

about that chick, Sharon.

- You do?

- Yeah.

And I could fix it so she'd go out with you.

I might even fix it so she'd fall for you.

- You could do that?

- Yep.

I can do a lot of stuff.

Wait a minute.

- Who are you?

- This morning when I caught you...

- how do you think I did that?

- I don't know.

Well, I can do that because...

I am not of this Earth.

- Not of this Earth?

- Yeah.

You know, dead.

- I have to be going now.

- Wait, I'm not finished.

I've got this play to read, and my brothers,

I have to make them dinner.

Look, kid. This is no bullshit.

- It was nice seeing you again.

- I'll prove it.

This jacket is real special to me, kid.

Now, don't take your eye off of it.

Because I'm going to make it fly

like an eagle.

Great trick.

Now I remember. Rafferty said you have

to do something with your hands.

See that tree?

I'm going to make it disappear.

Rafferty said there was a knack to it.

Well, maybe you should try something

a little different.

Something easier. Like, you know,

make it rain, or turn yourself into a duck.

Don't piss me off, kid.

What are you doing?

I've been too ambitious.

That's my term paper.

What are you doing?

Trust me.

Check it out.

Got any tape?

- That's it. I'm going!

- Wait.

I just had an idea.

I should've thought of this before.

The next car...

that comes down this road...

is going to go right through me.

Hey, you don't have to do this. I believe you.

I said I believe you.

Get out of the way!

I may be dead, but I ain't crazy.

Damn it! I don't know what's wrong. I mean,

Rafferty told me I had all these powers.

Maybe you just need more practice.

Hey, let me get Rafferty down here.

He'll explain everything.

No. That's okay. I mean,

I'd love to meet the guy and all, but...

like I said, I've got a lot of work to do.

I'll tell you what, when he gets in town...

give me a call. I'm in the phone book.

And we'll all go out for pizza

or something. All right?

Look, kid, now you're really starting

to piss me off.

You think I want to be doing this? No way.

But I want to get to Uptown, see?

And the only way I can do that is by

following the rules. So that's why I'm here.

Personally, I think I'm wasting my time

with you.

Personally, I think

the whole thing's hopeless.

What the...

- But why me?

- Like I said, I was assigned to you.

But I'm not in any real trouble.

From what I've seen,

I'd say you're in serious trouble.

- How come I didn't see you in school today?

- I didn't want you to.

So you can appear

and disappear just like that.

Yeah. And I'm only allowed to do that

with you.

Must be Japanese.

The way I see it, you got one major problem:

No confidence.

You got no confidence

because you got no style.

- But we're gonna change all that.

- How?

Same way we're gonna get

that cute little blonde to notice you.

I'm gonna give you a new image.

I'm gonna give you flash.

I'm not sure I like this.

- Why not?

- It's not me.

You want to be you? Okay.

I like it. I like it.

I like it. Honestly, I really like it.

Pretty cool, huh, kid?

Yeah, I'll be the only kid in school

with a bullet-proof head.

What's wrong with my bike?

You can't pick up chicks on a bicycle, kid.

- How you gonna make out at a drive-in?

- Well, I've never been to a drive-in.

Ain't she a beauty?

What do you think?

Will she run?

When you passed away, it couldn't

have been in a car accident, could it?

- Yeah, how did you guess?

- Just a hunch.

Must be Japanese.

School is in session.

Lesson Number One:

You own the joint.

When you walk into a room

you want all eyes on you.

You want everybody in that room thinking,

"Hey, who is that kid?"

Second rule:
You always look like

you got everything covered.

Chicks like to think you got all the answers.

- When exactly was it that you passed away?

- Why?

Well, that's just, sort of,

old-fashioned thinking nowadays.

Hey.

Now, it worked for me.

It's gonna work for you. I guarantee it.

Now, watch.

Hey, good-looking.

You're too fine to be sitting here all alone.

See. It's all in the moves.

- So what do you say?

- I got it covered?

Hey, good-looking.

You're too fine to be sitting here all alone.

She's not, a**hole.

You're doing great, kid.

- Let me know when I'm doing bad.

- You gotta expect a little disappointment.

Goes with the territory.

- So do my appendix.

- Hey, look.

This is it, kid. I know you can handle this.

Hi, there. Hey, good-looking.

My name is...

Man, I have never seen

a chick that ferocious in all my life.

- I don't think this is gonna work.

- What kind of talk is that?

- It's called intelligence.

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