The Hill Page #3

booze-up your father's always regretted.

Roberts, are you listening to me?

The ride on the hill leaves any marks

on me, I'll leave a bloody few on you.

Left turn! Stand still!

The hill.

Right turn!

By the front, double march!

Left, right, left, right, left wheel!

Left, right, left. Left, right, left, right, left.

Pick up your step!

Left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right, left, right.

Left wheel!

Left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right, left wheel!

Left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right, left, right.

Left wheel!

Detail, halt! Stand still!

Left turn!

This is the north face, gentlemen.

I mean, ladies and gentlemen. Still!

On a clear day you can see Mother India.

Still patches of snow on the top, Roberts?

Damn funny hill.

Nothing seems to grow on it.

It's full of surprises.

The only thing that's been known

to grow on that hill is soldiers.

They grow weary!

Now we're going to double up it.

By the right! Double march!

About turn!

Double!

About turn!

About turn!

About turn!

Double! Double!

Move it!

Come on. Move it.

Move it.

Stand still. Come on, get fell in.

Pick up your dressing. Stand still!

All right, detail, stand at ease!

Not you, Roberts.

Now take your towels out.

Not you, Roberts.

You're gonna continue doubling, Roberts.

About turn!

Double march!

- Take them away, Staff.

- Left incline. Double march!

Come on, get your knees up.

Left, right, left, right. Halt!

Right. Get your clothes off. Get in.

Double!

Double!

Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Left turn!

Halt! Left turn!

Right, change clothes and lay out your kit,

and be smart about it.

It's filthy.

- Double.

- That's enough, Staff.

- Yes, sir.

- Walk him.

Or lift him.

Put him in the shade and rest him.

My picture got wet. That's my wife.

- And she looks like a very nice girl.

- She is. Jean. That's her name.

- Looks too good for you, Stevens.

- Give us a dekko.

Now go careful. It's still wet.

Lord! I wouldn't mind

half an hour with her, eh?

- Come on. Give it.

- Hold on. Just wanna have a shifty.

What's her legs like? Can't see her legs.

No, come on, give it to me.

What's she got stuck up her jumper?

- Oh, come on.

- Couple of barrage balloons, eh?

She's not a bad old piece, is she?

- Give the photo back.

- All right. All right.

From out here, it sounds like a

monkey house, looks like a monkey house,

smells like a monkey house.

Didn't I tell you to smarten it up?

All right, get your mess tins

and get in the line.

Come on. Put a move on. Move it!

Or by Stephen, you'll suffer.

Come on, come on, come on.

Left turn!

Left! Double march! Left, left, left.

Left wheel.

Right wheel. Key, Staff. Mark time!

What about my grub, then?

Nails, lad! Come on, hold your nails out.

- Ration correct?

- Bread's a bit short, sir.

Weigh it.

It's overweight. Cut a bit off.

- Correct? Correct?

- Yes, sir.

Come on, get those knees up.

Up, come on! Left, left, left, right, left.

Left, left, left, right, left. Come on!

Staff, I'll see to them.

Well, what about my grub?

You missed it, didn't you?

Like that hill, Roberts?

Roberts, the court martial broke you,

but I'm going to finish the job.

I'm gonna bust you wide open.

I've got your number.

You'd work as a dustman

if they gave you a uniform

and a couple of men to yell at.

- Do you think that's funny?

- Well, no.

- I'll teach you.

- But everybody else...

Get into your kit!

Move it! I'll teach you.

And that goes for the rest of you.

Move it! I said double outside.

Mark time.

Fall out!

You dropped that little lad right in it,

didn't you, Roberts?

Yeah, and we're going to be next

if he don't keep his big trap shut.

Don't make things worse

than they are, Roberts.

Look, he wants me.

He wants you

'cause you're the wrong color.

The rest of you

he doesn't find all that interesting yet.

But he'll have you just the same.

The RSM likes making toy soldiers.

Williams likes breaking them.

Now, you all work out

what you're gonna do about it.

Maybe you're right,

but keep your big mouth shut

and don't give him

too many opportunities.

How come you put one on your officer,

Roberts?

- He asked for it.

- For ordering you up the line, you mean?

- For ordering me up the line.

- Wasn't very considerate, was he?

- Should have ordered you to a rest home.

- I'd have volunteered for that.

You know, there's a yarn going round

that you beat up your officer

and then ordered your lads out of line.

- Is that the story?

- That's what I heard.

- It's true I stuck it on him.

- Why, Roberts?

Oh, you'll read all about it

when I write my memoirs.

How Joe Roberts saw action one day

and didn't fancy a second basin?

Well, I'll try and make it read

a bit better than that.

How's this?

Half the regiment wiped out, but not

gallant Sergeant Major Joe Roberts.

I couldn't have that.

You see, I was due a week's leave in Cairo.

The lads who'd gone in,

any of them still alive, Roberts?

- Any of them still alive, Roberts?

- I am.

Now that's all for now. Leave him.

There'll be no more fighting.

Ain't we in trouble enough already?

So chuck this in.

All right.

I'll find a quiet corner to finish the job off.

McGrath, you try that again

and I'll kill you.

Williams is gunning for you.

Maybe I'll just leave it to him.

You're a real thick-nut soldier.

You'd shoot up kids in the next street

if you was ordered to.

Look, I told you to chuck it in, man.

Chuck it in.

Staff!

Watch it.

I hope you lot can put up

a better show than that.

- Well, who knocked you about, Roberts?

- I bumped into the wall.

Who was it?

Like he said, Staff. Bumped into the wall.

Well, if you keep bumping into walls,

Roberts, let me know who's pushing you.

I won't stand for any punch-up artists,

McGrath.

Aye, Staff.

Right, into your kit, the lot of you.

- Well, move it! Get Stevens up.

- Yes, Staff.

- Oh, no. Please.

- He's in no fit state for a second helping.

Fall in outside! At the double.

Get in line!

The Sergeant Major fancies he has

the patent on how to make soldiers.

I'm gonna prove to him and to you lot

that I've got it, as well.

Eyes front! Left turn! By the front.

Double march.

Left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right, left, right.

Halt! Stand still! Right turn! Go!

Come on out of it, you four.

Go on, move! Buckets of water.

Move! Come on! Move it out!

Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Detail, by the right, double march!

Staff, man fainted!

Right, up you go.

Double. Roberts, move it!

Staff, take over!

Fill them up again.

Come in. Hello, Charlie.

Hello, Bert.

- Sweetie?

- Thanks.

Thought you ought to know, Bert,

Williams has got all the mob

from Cell 8 on the hill.

Has he?

Including the lad he had on it a while ago.

Well?

I don't think the lad's up to it, Bert.

I bet you were good to your mother and

I know you are too good to the prisoners.

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