The Hip Hop Project Page #10

I didn't know the situation was

going to turn out the way it is,

because that's not

what we planned.

And when you plan,

you always plan,

it never work like you plan.

And it turned out different.

If I could reverse things,

I would reverse my life different.

I wouldn't do as what I did before.

To apologize for whatever.

Apologize for what?

- My point exactly.

- Apologize for what?

I don't see what you say

to apologize for.

- No doubt.

- If any apology,

you have to apologize to me.

- Well, Gene, I apologize

for bringing any animosity to you

when I came here to America.

If I disrespected you,

I have a lot of stuff

on my chest.

Rather than take that

as an attack on you,

just take it as just pain.

I would like to make

the first step toward repairing

or healing any bad situations

or scars in our relationship.

So I apologize.

So...

- Would you be willing

to just give him a hug

and say, "I'm sorry"?

In his heart,

he's an innocent little boy

that's looking for his mother,

you know?

And he's my man,

and I love him.

- Listen.

I did all of that before,

and he never accept that.

- And you understand

that he was a child

dealing with an adult,

dealing with his mother,

and like he said,

he was in pain.

What would it take

to move forward,

understanding that

where he was at the time

and where he is now

is a great transition.

And let me tell you something,

your son is an incredible man,

and I know you know it.

All you have to do now

is just be there.

- Listen, I'm open to anything.

- Okay.

- He's welcome

if he want to come.

My door is open.

- Okay, thank you.

- Did you have that kind of

a conversation with your mother

about how everything happened?

- No.

I really never carry

any animosity, though.

I wish life were better.

I said, if she was there,

maybe life would be different.

Maybe I would get the education

that I want

or the profession

that I had wanted then.

And-but I still doesn't

hold it for her.

- Well, you know,

maybe I'm not as strong as you.

- The situation happens,

and you got to correct it.

That's what life is.

- Gene, I said I was

going to come here today.

I never touched

your hand before.

- Oh, you never?

- When I ever touch your hand?

- Well, I guess.

- I never held your hand.

I said I'm going

to come here today

and just let go

ofwhatever I've been holding,

and, you know, I just want to

make up for where I was-

where I wasn't always-

When I wasn't always

understanding, you know?

So-

So, you know, I'd never

want you to leave life

and not know that I thank-

thank you for giving me life,

and, um, you know, and I-

I'm going sit by you.

Did I ever give you a hug?

You know, the first day

I saw you, Gene,

you were standing-

you know, I was standing on the escalator

right behind you with Natalie, right?

And then you walked-

I watched you walk up,

and I stood there,

and I just watched you.

You went to the baggage claim.

You asked the man,

"I'm looking for a little boy,"

whatever, whatever,

and I was standing there watching.

Then I raised my hand.

I gave Natalie a hug,

and we just said, you know.

So I never gave you-

- Well, you didn't

want to hug me,

but I just let it be.

- It's all good.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm sorry.

- Okay.

- You all right?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hopefully, my life,

other people could look at it

and learn.

I let the camera

and y'all into, like,

a lot of places

where I-I didn't want to,

but I figure everybody

goes through this stuff in life,

and it's the people who share it

is really the strongest.

- I just want to say I love you.

- I can't rise

if I got weight on me, you know?

So I feel liberated.

I decided in the time of change

to make some big changes,

and so around the energy

of the Hip Hop Project,

you will have

a new leadership here.

I decided to leave

the Hip Hop Project

to follow my dream

to be an artist.

Well, this is my home studio.

Been building this for a while.

I'm still building it,

but it's getting there.

You know, I came into Art Start

as an artist,

which is why I was able,

you know, to connect with them.

But now I want to dedicate

all my time to just doing,

you know, doing the music.

So it's just now

to find somebody

to fill those shoes

when I'm gone.

- Whoever he brings in

has to have that same touch

on their lives.

'Cause that's

what made it important.

That's what kept us there.

It wasn't just because

it was some curriculum.

It was because he was involved

in our lives on a day-to-day.

If they not doing that,

they'll be losing that whole essence

to what the Hip Hop Project

is even about.

- You know,

I've been thinking about,

you know, this transition.

I was trying to figure out who would be

the person to take my place.

So I'm looking all around,

and lo and behold,

sometimes what you're looking for

is right in front of your face.

I guess what I'm trying to say

is that I would like

nothing more

than for you to be

the new program director.

Plus, you know, like,

I was a student at Art Start,

and somebody passed me the baton.

I would like to pass it to you,

you know?

- Elijah, you with me?

I'm nervous, man.

Okay, here goes.

Let me say

I'm not getting any younger,

and of all the women

I've met in my life...

Elijah.

- My whole life has changed

- You give me so much that I-

that I had to throw away

my little black book.

And now...

Elijah?

- Everything is different now

Girl, I finally

have settled down

And became a one-woman man

- All right.

And I've been resistant

to open my heart,

because trust is not

an easy thing to give away,

and I know that these-

you know, when things are good,

it's all good, but...

Elijah?

- Would love me

if I was down and out?

Would you still

have love for me?

Girl

- All right.

But now I know,

and there's no doubt

you are the one.

And I guess-I guess

what I'm really trying to say is...

Elijah.

- I'm on my knees sayin'

- Marry me

Diandra, yo,

I be getting two-ways from her,

like, once every month,

"Yo, Lou,

you're going to make it. "

- I did not know this was

gonna to happen in '99.

You know what I'm saying,

that it would even go this far,

that it would take this long

to do the album,

you know what I'm saying?

- Thank you for everything,

you know what I'm saying?

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you

for your understanding.

Just your love is unconditional,

you know what I'm saying?

Being a father,

even when my father's not here.

Thank you for being there

just to help me along this way.

- Only thing I would say

to the pinnacle

as y'all move on,

always give back.

I've been saying that

since day one.

Make sure you've got

those certain ten

that you know

you're giving back to.

- Three time, three time.

- My brother.

Check, check, check.

Is this thing on?

Can y'all hear me out there?

Listen

It's Kharma Kazi

and the Hip Hop Project

This is how we gonna do.

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