The Hole Page #2

- The power's on the left. | - Yeah.

Oh, man. What is that smell?

It looks like a tomb.

- And? | - And I ain't goin' in there.

- Oh, like I care what you think?

Uh...

Can't be any worse than Wales, right?

- Me next! | - That's practical, Frankie

- Did you get that smell? What is that? | - Jesus, man.

- You all right? | - What?

You all right? Watch out for that bit.

Oh, man.

Mikey, look at this, man. | Check this out! This is huge!

Look at that! What is that stuff?

Whoa!

Ladies, you are going to love it down here!

I'll get them to send it up | to your room, Frankie!

- Oh, shut up! Just be careful with it. | - This way.

- Jesus, it's so dark! | - Right, I'm going first.

- Are you going down? | - Yeah.

- The ladder stops, mate. | - What?

Oh, no, it's cool. It's just...

Do you need a light?

- Yeah. Shine it down here. | - What is that smell? It's disgusting!

- Enjoy the Mike Steel experience.

Do you think he'll fall in love with me?

Just be careful.

- Liz, watch the step. | - Mate, look at the pit!

Here, pass the rucksack. | Mind the ledge, it's really narrow.

- You guys all right? | - Yeah, we're cool, cheers.

- Close the door! | - Bye-bye, Martin! Bye-bye!

- Put the lights on!

- Frankie, calm down! | - Can you put the lights on?

I don't like it! | Oh, God, can't you find the light switch?

Calm down!

- Yeeeehaaa! | - Whoooo!

- Would you look at this? | - Lights!

What do you think, girls? | Pretty damn good!

- Aaaaaaaaaah!

I shot you in the back like six times, dude! | You're dead!

We love you

Got no brakes | butyou know we got a radio

You're in the way!

You've gotta move | when we're rockin' on yourstereo

Die, scum! Get out of the way!

Get out of the way! | Get out of the way of the woman!

- Get out of the way of the lady!

- You're dead! | - You're gonna die!

- No, man! | - You're the only one to die!

We love...

Love | We love you

Love | We love you

Love | We love you...

Would you mind | if I boiled water for my pasta?

No, not at all. D'you want to go first?

Yeah. Sure. Cheers, I'll...

It's great stuff. It's got this hole | down the middle so it cooks quickly.

Have you got a pan I can borrow?

- There you go. | - Cheers.

- What are you having on that? | - Er... nothing.

You can't have pasta and nothing.

- That's nice. That's really nice. | - I've got salt. Do you want some?

Pasta and salt? No! Thanks, though.

- What are you having, then? | - I'm not hungry.

- You've got to have something. | - Didn't really bring anything.

- You didn't bring any food? | - Not food food. A bit of gum.

How will you survive on gum | for three days?

It slipped my mind. It didn't occur to me.

- OK, so food slipped your mind. | - I've got food.

I've got sausages and beans and noodles.

Plenty for everyone. | You can have as much as you want.

You have sausages?

Do you have tomato sauce?

- Some. | - You enjoy your pasta, OK?

I'm having sausages...

...with Liz... tonight.

Frankie?

No... no, thanks. I'm on a diet. I've got | fibre pills to stop me feeling hungry.

Yum

OK, it's my turn.

My friend was driving his girlfriend | in his Ferrari...

Who do you know with a Ferrari?

- Bob and Sally. You don't know them.

Bob and who?

- Mike, don't! | - F*** off. Really, relax.

Bob and Sally went for a drive, but they | ran out of petrol in the middle of nowhere.

So Bob went to find some. Sally was left | in the car. She switched on the radio...

...and they said there was like | this crazy madman on the loose.

- But she was really tired... | - Man with a hook.

- On the roof of the car. | - With Bob's head on a stick.

- On a hook! | - No, this really happened!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Frankie

OK, I've got one for you. | Make you cack your pants.

- What?! | - Shut up, man.

Something happens to Martin. | Doesn't come back for us.

Told you.

That's sick.

Possible.

Don't be stupid.

Geoff, you shouldn't say that. | What if you make it happen?

How can I make anything happen | when I'm here with you?

- You'll jinx us. | - How?

- It's tempting fate! | - Oh, please How does that work?

- Lizzie? | - I'm a scientist. I don't believe in fate.

- Mike? | - I'm a Scientologist. I'm with Liz.

- Oh, yes! | - Fine!

But if anything happens to Martin, | it's Geoff's fault, OK?

If that's what it takes to get you | to shut up about it, fine.

- Fine. Fine. | - Is my story the best, or what?

- Ole, ole ole ole! | - Liz.

- Bingham, Bingham | - Liz.

- What happened on the third day? | - Don't you want to know what we did?

Martin was supposed to let you out, | wasn't he? Liz?

- Liz. | - I don't know!

- What don't you know? | - I don't know what happened.

Come on, you're quite safe here. | Deep breaths. Look at me.

It's the third day. | You're packed and ready to go.

What's the time now?

Same as when you asked | two minutes ago.

Well, it can't be the same time | if two minutes have passed, can it?

It's 3.32, then.

So where is he? The field trip's | supposed to be back in 30 minutes.

I have a driver waiting. This is so...

What if he's been hit by a bus, is in a coma | and can't tell anyone where we are?

- Oh, please. | - Oh, my God. What if he's dead?

He's not dead!

I'll call him. What's his number?

- They don't work down here! | - Here, give me your phone. Let me try.

You get anything?

No, nothing.

Maybe give it a shot up by the door.

- Does it work? | - No, nothing.

- You've jinxed us. I knew you would. | - This is a wind-up.

No, this is your fault! You never | should have said those things!

Hey! You guys! Have you thought | that maybe the traffic's heavy?

It's cool, I'm not worried.

Help! Help!

- Geoff! Open the door! | - Everyone just calm...

- He's just trying to help! | - What do you think I'm trying to do?

Please! Shut up and let me get on with it!

- You're stinking mad. | - Hey! Hey.

- We're nowhere closer! | - Hit it with the pipe, then.

I'll tell you what. | Why don't you have a go, darling? Go on!

OK, so they know we never went to Wales.

As far as they know, | we have a three-day head start,

...which means they could be covering | a three-day radius of the school.

That covers...

...like, the whole world.

So what do we do?

We're being held to ransom | until Martin says so. We can't do anything.

Don't say that! I mean, he could just be ill.

Isn't that right, Lizzie?

I don't know.

Why would he do this? We're his friends!

Are we?

Is he really your friend, Frankie? | He's not mine.

Think about it. | I don't know a thing about him.

He has no morals, no ethics. | Everything's just a game to him.

Oh, so this is a game? Oh, that's great!

That's f***ing wonderful | Oh, my God, I paid for this.

Yeah, but he's careful.

Nothing's left to chance.

Right now, we're trapped | because he wants us trapped.

Why?

Well, I guess we're gonna find out.

Liz. Look at me.

He didn't come back.

Martin didn't come back.

You've cracked it! I knew you would.

I told the lads. | This f***ing great cheer went up.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes