The Hottest State Page #4

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a little piece of sage advice-

friendship:

true friendship

is all you can trust: you'll see.

Do you know what it is?

I always

believed in being "of use. "

I would ask myself -

"How can I

be of the most use?"

Because William, it is in that way

that God speaks to us.

But Sarah, she doesn't

think about that.

She wants to be special.

Mom, I don't

want to be special.

I like to sing.

The world needs singers,

doesn't it?

- Well -

- No, your mother doesn't.

There you go.

Your mother doesn't need

any singers at all.

And, excuse me, New York

has more than its share.

Mom, you're drunk.

No, I'm not drunk;

I am your mother.

I have many faults,

the worst of which is not

how painfully

I miss my daughter.

But I'll be able

to stand before God,

and I'm a little worried

about you.

[In Spanish]

We'll see, Mom. We'll see.

What about you, William.

Will you be able

to stand before God?

Well, Mrs. Garcia,

to tell you the truth -

it's my opinion

that I have stood before God -

since the moment

I met your daughter.

Oh my! Sarah -

We have a bullshit artist

sitting at the table.

Mrs. Garcia:
Honey, I just

don't what you to get hurt again.

Sarah:
[In Spanish]

I won't.

Mrs. Garcia:

Well - he looks like David.

[In Spanish]

Oh, he does not.

Mrs. Garcia:

He smells like David.

[In Spanish]

He does not.

Mrs. Garcia:
You know,

he smells like something I don't like.

I'm done.

Sarah:

You shut her up.

I'm sorry

about that business.

She only does it

when she drinks.

William:

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well?

You're doing great.

- I am?

- Yeah!

Hey, wait.

What?

Who's David?

No one.

He's your old boyfriend?

Let's not

talk about him, okay?

You know,

some day, Sarah -

you're going to

have to talk to me.

[Music plays]

What did you mean,

you saw God in me?

I don't know.

Can I smoke a cigarette?

Sure.

[Music plays]

Don't be mad, okay?

David and I went out

for the two and a half years

that I was at college.

We lived together.

After a while he said he couldn't

fall asleep in the same bed with me.

I don't know why.

So, I started sleeping on the couch.

It's so embarrassing.

One night,

I heard this noise -

so, I walk into our room -

and he had sneaked another girl

up the fire escape -

and was having sex with her

in my bed.

The worst part about it

is that I was so -

I don't know,

like crazy about him -

that I didn't break up

with him,

or, I wouldn't let him

break up with me.

And then, I dropped out

of college to try to end it.

And - that's why

my mom is so mad.

But the point is -

I'm not so tough or interesting

as you seem to think I am.

I'm just more of a dork.

Hey - you should come

to Mexico with me.

I'm afraid of that.

They've given me

a first class ticket.

I bet I could trade it in

for two coach ones.

I'm afraid to fly.

You're bullshitting me.

Come on;

you should come.

You have to work.

I don't want

to talk anymore.

I want to fool around.

Good.

Do you have a condom?

No.

Then we can't do it.

Oh God.

Do you want

to get me pregnant?

Yes.

Don't say that.

Okay.

[Music plays]

Don't you find it odd

when you're a kid -

everyone in the whole world

tells you to

follow your dreams -

and when you get older,

they act all offended

if you even try.

[Music plays]

I'll go to Mexico with you

if you still want me to.

But we'll need to leave

a week early -

and then I'll come back home

before you start work okay?

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

William:

Mexico - is where it all went down.

[Music plays]

Sarah:

I think we should have sex.

William:

Right now?

Yes. But I have

to ask you some questions first.

Okay shoot.

Do you have any diseases?

Nope.

Have you

ever been baptized?

No.

Do I fail the test?

Why are you so scared

to have sex?

I think if we have sex -

I'll fall in love with you.

I'm not much of a lover.

William -

I want to f*** you.

Turn off the light.

Sarah:

Stop!

Get a condom on.

There's some in my purse.

William:

Where's your purse?

Sarah:

In the bathroom.

William:

Okay.

Oh Jesus, I'm too nervous.

What?

I'm too nervous.

F***!

What?

Nothing! F***!

Let's just go to sleep,

alright?

What is it?

You don't want to do it?

William:
Yeah, I do;

I just can't right now, is all.

Why not?

Why not?

Look -

Sarah, can we

just go to sleep?

What's wrong?

William:

Can I lift your veil now?

Sarah:

If you will be gentle - Ooh!

William:

What' the matter?

Sarah:

You're not being gentle.

William:

Are you kidding?

Sarah:

No, I don't like it we you're like that.

William:

Like what?

Sarah:

Cynical and sarcastic.

William:

I am sincere.

Sarah:

I am sincere.

Are you wearing protection?

No.

It's alright.

Come on.

[Music plays]

Cynical and sarcastic!

William:

I am sincere.

Sarah:
I would believe that you

believe you are, for a while.

William:

Everything's for a while.

'For a while' is the stuff

that dreams are made of - baby.

I am sincere.

Sarah:

I am sincere.

William:

I am sincere.

Sarah:

I am sincere.

William:

Take two, okay.

Action.

[Music plays]

Can I lift your veil now?

If you will be gentle -

Ooh!

What's the matter?

[Laughing]

You're not being gentle.

How was I being?

Rough.

- Are you kidding?

- No.

I don't like it

when you're like that.

Like what?

Cynical and sarcastic.

I am sincere.

I would believe that you

believe you are for a while.

Everything's

for a while.

'For a while' is the stuff

that dreams are made of, baby.

[Both]

I am sincere.

William:

We weren't good tourists.

In our room,

the scent of sex was thick.

I ever wanted

to take a shower again.

My hands

my arms my face -

all smelled of Sarah.

We would mess around all day

till it hurt.

It was hard to tell if

she was kissing me or touching me.

Every part of her body

was as wet as her mouth.

Sarah wasn't sexy the way

other people are sexy.

Her body wasn't tight,

or taut or anything like that.

She was funny,

the way watching people

fall asleep on busses

with their heads

continually dropping

and then jerking back up,

is funny.

She was human -

the most human person

I had ever met

and that was sexy.

Sarah:

Are you awake?

William:

Uh huh.

Sarah:
I remember one afternoon

I came home from school -

and my mom told me

my father had left us.

I didn't believe her.

I thought

it was a game -

like hide and seek.

So I looked

all over the house -

closets -

under beds -

I looked everywhere.

Where'd he go?

He went to a

rehabilitation center in Albany,

and never came back.

But he wrote me

once a month,

from the day he left

'til I went away to college.

Once I was away from home,

he'd come visit me.

He just never wanted

to see my mother again.

His letters were my

favorite part of growing up.

They always came

in these dark blue envelopes,

and I'd keep them

in a box - underneath my bed.

I loved

that they were blue -

because when he lived with us,

he'd come home -

always wearing

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