The Hottest State Page #9

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but all I feel is

everything coming apart.

And for about three minutes

I believed -

in destiny and that,

you know, I had one.

But now, I'm -

I don't know, adrift.

I have no connection

to anything.

Not people, not me -

not you, not family,

not the past,

not the future,

not anything -

you know?

I keep lookin'

down the road

Out the window,

high and low

The cold is risin'

it's halfway gone

Jesse:

Merry Christmas, William.

I love Christmas morning,

don't you?

I mean, I know

it's a pain in the ass

for us to drive around

like this, but your father -

Your Daddy is what people

like to call 'a project'.

He wants to make me very small,

and fit me in his pocket.

You're sweet.

Merry Christmas, William.

Isn't this fun?

Do you think you're going

to get a lot of good presents?

I think so.

You know what I want?

I want your daddy

to stop being such a bully.

You don't bully women, William;

it's not nice.

You want to be a cowboy,

you can be a cowboy,

but you be

a gentleman cowboy.

Look you just be

whatever you want.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it.

Vince:

Hey! Hey! No!

Jesse:

Stay in the car.

You hear me?

You stay in this car.

Now, I told you

not to be here!

I told you not -

Vince:

F*** you!

- Leave him alone.

- Hey buddy -

Merry Christmas, okay.

This is from Santa.

That's it. Okay, goodbye.

Merry Christmas.

Vince:

Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.

[Music plays]

Jesse:

Buddy, what' going on?

I love that stupid girl

so much, Mom.

I fell in love

with your father

because of the way

he told a joke.

That doesn't always work.

My point is,

it's all pretty arbitrary.

Your whole life,

people are going to ask you

to be weak, William.

They'll practically beg you.

But all anybody

really wants from you,

is for you to be strong.

Look -

It's a baptism -

by ice.

Is it written

in the stars

Were we've been

or where we are?

And where we're going

I don't know

Faye:

Hello.

Hi, I'm William.

William! Wow.

You're all grown up.

Yeah. Is my Dad here?

Yeah. Come on;

come on in.

It's okay; I'll wait here.

You sure? Okay, one second.

Vincent! Hey, Vince?

Vince:

Yeah, what?

What? What is it?

Hey there, William,

how you doing?

William:

Good.

Well, come on inside.

Can I talk to you

for a minute?

Sure, come on in.

No, would you mind

stepping outside for a second?

- Vince:
Sure.

- Faye:
Hey, Thomas.

Let me get my jacket, alright?

- William:
You watching the game?

- Vince:
Yeah, yeah.

- William:
Cowboys?

- Vince:
Yeah, yeah.

William:

They any good this year?

No, no, they suck.

I don't really follow them

too much any more.

No?

Well they're kind of -

Sweetie, Lisa,

get out of here, darling.

Go back to the kitchen.

So listen -

Could I bum one of those?

Remember that time we were

shooting those cans?

No.

Behind the supermarket?

Okay.

Yeah well, you said

that day that -

when I was thirteen,

I could come live with you.

You said that

a bunch of times.

Yeah.

Yeah well, my thirteenth

birthday's come and gone -

and you never even

called me.

In point and fact -

I haven't heard from you at all

in a pretty long time.

I'm sorry.

Well apology not accepted,

you know what I mean?

Yeah, I know

what you mean.

Look William -

it was so hard on you

when you were little

when we would -

You know,

and your mother - she -

You know, and then,

I got remarried and -

Every family -

Can we talk about

something else?

Yeah.

I fell in love

with this girl,

but she broke up with me.

Yeah?

She kind of

broke my heart, I think.

That'll happen.

That happen to you?

Sure, sure, I guess.

Did my mom

break your heart?

I don't know.

That was a long time ago.

Well, you got over it, huh?

I guess.

Well, good for you.

I just feel like I might not

get over it, you know?

Like maybe I'm too sensitive

or something.

Well, maybe you won't.

You know what I mean?

You'll move on, but -

if it hurt real bad,

then it'll scar -

or, like a bone fracture,

or something,

it'll ache

when it rains.

Sounds like some

real deep advice -

coming from a guy

who bailed on his son.

I'm just doing my best here.

Well it's not very good,

your best.

No, no, it's not.

I was in a movie.

I bet you didn't know that.

No, a movie?

Yeah, I'm going to be

a big fat f***in' movie star.

And people are going to ask you

if you're related to me,

and you're going

to have to say -

"Yup, he's my son

that I never seen. "

Well, that would be great.

Why are you being so -

I don't know.

How do you

want me to be?

I don't know.

- I wanted you to call me, that's all.

- I'm sorry.

You know, I thought -

I thought it would be better for you -

Goddamn, it is b*tch cold.

I thought it was supposed

to be hot in Texas.

Yeah, it's

the Hottest State.

What?

Fort Worth

is the Hottest State I know.

My dad lives there,

my grandma too,

most every grandparent

except a few.

I like it there.

Boy, is it hot.

What's that?

It's a poem you wrote

when you were a kid.

Oh yeah?

Does that make you feel better

that you remember some poem?

No, it doesn't.

I loved you so much,

and then -

Hey, what have I got to do

to get this girl back?

You can't will anybody

to do anything.

What do I have to do?

What was her name?

Sarah.

Did she ever love you?

I don't know.

I think so.

Don't do anything,

just be cool, you know.

Just wait;

she'll call you.

- She won't.

- Yes, she will.

No, she won't.

Well then, f*** her;

you know.

People who give up on love

aren't worth loving.

What's that say about you?

I don't know

what it says about me.

But, seeing you here

today -

says a hell of a lot

about you.

[Guitar music]

Dave:

Do you what to do it in the same key?

Hi.

Hi.

Do you want to sit down?

Sure.

Sarah:

We've been away for a little while -

doing some tour

of some Canadian Universities.

And I don't know, I thought

it might be a good idea

if we said, 'Hello. '

It might be.

How are you?

You know -

fine - good!

How about you?

Like a cat,

always nervous.

Don't worry.

I'm not going to

break anything.

No, about performing.

My mom is comin tonight,

and she's so ridiculous.

William:

Sounds like a big night.

Sarah:

Yeah.

I just want to tell you that -

the week I spent with you

in Mexico was probably -

the best six days

of my whole life, and -

I'm sorry it all didn't

go down the perfect way.

But when I think about the time

we spent together now -

I am grateful -

for what it did for me.

I don't know, I just think

that you're too intense.

You are -

I mean, you're very intense.

- You think I'm intense?

- Yeah.

Really?

I thought -

I don't know what I thought

but something bad.

'Intense' sounds good.

I'm glad it was you.

If somebody's going to -

break your heart,

you want it to be -

you know, somebody like you.

You've always had

a very deluded sense

of how interesting I am.

Yeah, well, I like you.

And I didn't

break your heart.

Your heart was broken long

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