The Hour of the Pig Page #3

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They burnt him too,

of course.

Would you say all that

in court?

Richard, I like it here.

It's a very nice living.

Having my balls burnt off

in public might take some

of the pleasure out of it.

Aah!

It's a great leveler,

you see?

Peasants, fine ladies,

thieves, gentlefolk.

- Priests?

- Yes... medicinal reasons.

I get this rash

at least once a week.

I thought nakedness was

an abomination unto the Lord.

Only that of thy brother...

and sister.

Morning, sister.

God, I think about them

all the time.

- Do you ever get over it?

- No.

In his wisdom, he's sent them

for our temptation.

And by heavens,

he knew what he was doing.

- A pig.

- They want me to defend a pig.

It's madness.

What do I do?

My son, don't ask me.

I'm a country priest.

I studied theology at Rheims,

liberal arts at Oxford,

natural philosophy in Paris...

and look what

I do with it!

Domini, is it a mortal sin

to screw my sister-in-law?

No, my son. It's what we define

as a shameful act.

Father, does the soul

consist of bread or wind?

Well, today it's bread;

tomorrow it'll be wind.

Is it a heresy to hold a candle

to the mouth of a dying man?

Well, who cares! If he's dying,

you might as well stick it up his ass.

Do the souls of the wicked

penetrate the bodies of young women?

Well, who wouldn't

given half a chance?

Is intercourse less of a sin

with a wife than a mistress?

Since, my child, in the end

everything is forbidden,

then everything is allowed.

Well,

that's Catharism.

- They could really burn you for that.

- Is it?

Or sophistry?

All I'm saying is--

- What has this to do with a pig?

- All I'm saying is...

that in a world

where nothing is reasonable...

in the end,

nothing can be truly mad.

[ Boniface ] Let me understand

this, Courtois. In order

to disprove the count...

that the woman suborned the rats

to cause her neighbor's death...

it is your wish that we call

those rats as witnesses?

And how would the maitre

have us execute a warrant?

Do we send armed sheriffs

to arrest them?

No, Maitre. They must testify

of their own free will.

Roman law,

State of Ponthieu...

1 43 2, in the case of summonses

to be served on witnesses

of no fixed abode:

''Exhibitiat in

arenam publicum sub-poenas. ''

I ask that notices be fixed

to barn doors and to every tree...

everywhere the rats are known

to congregate, summoning them

to appear in court.

- [ Whispering ] It can't work.

- It might.

Delay and confuse.

[ Boniface ]

Bailiff,put up the notices.

We will reconvene tomorrow.

If the rats do not appear,

the count will be taken as proven.

Your witnesses, Maitre.

They have not attended.

- How curious!

-[ Laughter ]

And the notices were clearly inscribed

in the French language?

Then I think you are lost

on that count.

- Shall we move to the next?

- [ Courtois ] Uh, no. With respect.

''If a person be cited to appear

as witness at a place to which

he cannot come with safety...

he may refuse

the said summons or writ.''

I draw the court's attention

to the unwearied vigilance...

of the mortal enemies

of these rats:

that is, every cat and dog

who lie in wait for them,

with fell intent...

in every corner

and passageway.

I submit that the witnesses,

in fear of their lives...

have exercised their right

to refuse the summons.

[ Laughing ]

There are further measures,

which will, I regret, take up

more of the court's time.

[ Clears Throat ]

Strike that count off the record:

suborning the rats.

The rest of

her confession stands?

Jeannine Martin...

in the matter of causing

maleficium to your neighbors...

you will be ducked

and exhibited...

in a hanging cage

for a day and a night.

The learned procurators

have leave to go...

while I consider

the second judgment.

Uh, there are no more counts,

monseigneur.

But I have to enact the verdict

of the Holy Fathers.

I have to do that, don't I?

Not your concern, Maitre.

Don't worry.

You've done with the temporal charges.

You can't act for the church.

There's no court in France--

You're not in the fine kingdom

of France now.

We have the Ponthieu law here:

our law.

You should study it

further, perhaps.

In your deposition

to the Holy Fathers...

you confessed that

at the age of 34...

you made a compact

with the devil...

and took a spoon ofblood

from your body to seal this compact.

Wait. I must ask leave

to examine this.

Did she not confess this?

Did you?

- Yes.

- She confesses she confessed.

But they sentenced her.

She's excommunicate.

You will keep your silence,

or you will leave this court.

Jeannine Martin...

you'll be taken outside

the walls of this town...

where you will be

hanged by the neck...

and strangled

until you are dead.

- Your body will be burned.

- But the maitre told me--

Wait! This is unlawful! Wait!

You promised her her life.

Now that would have been unlawful,

would it not? Take her away.

[ Cane Pounding ]

I did ask you

if you'd read the text.

- That is nowhere in the Roman law.

- Custom and practice, Maitre.

Why didn't I know that?

Why didn't you?

[ Sighs ]

There is darkness

all about you.

You can bring the light.

Look to the boy,

Maitre!

Look to the boy!

[ Coughing ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Courtois ]

You.!

- What are you doing there?

- We're baptizing them.

Sending them on their way,

all good Christian souls.

- They were going to stop here.

Can you believe that?

- [ Courtois ] Sheriff!.

There is no statute to prevent these

people from making their camp here.

Yes there is-- mine.

No, sir. They are outside

the walls of the town.

And I'm an advocate at law.

- You cannot prevent them.

Now what is this?

- Water and lime.

They've come up from the south.

They could be carrying the black death.

I do have the right.

Yes. Well, after that you can

leave them be to stop here or go on.

You understand?

And you and your men

will not lay a finger on them.

[ Men Groaning ]

[ Whinnying ]

[ Whinnying ]

[ Maria ]

What was that, Maitre?

You know you talk

in your sleep?

- Was it a nice dream?

- What?

No. No, it wasn't, um--

Oh, now.

I think it must've been.

It's all right, Maitre.

I've got brothers.

Well, I don't know.

Past first light already,

and I do believe the cock's

all set to crow again.

Waste not, want not.

Ugh!

[ Gasps ]

[ Panting, Moaning ]

[ Gasping ]

-[ Mathieu ] Maitre, are you all right?

- Yes!

[ Maria Groaning ]

Ooh!

- [ Crowing ]

- Ooh.!

Hmm.

''Jehan d'Auferre,

Seigneur of Abbeville...

''asks the Maitre Courtois

to attend him tomorrow...

before noon,

ifhe will. ''

[ Girl Chortling ]

[ Man ]

Hello.

Come andjoin me,

Maitre.

I wish you long life,

monseigneur, and...

[ Clears Throat ]

honored to be a guest in your home.

These are beautifully--

My wife chooses the decorations.

I'm a merchant turned farmer...

one of the, what they call,

the new lords.

I made my money in Joinville.

I bought the land here...

- and the title came with it.

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