The House of the Devil Page #2

---

I'm sorry.

But look, like,

it was-it was like,

he was such a jerk

for standing you up.

Yes, he was.

And you were super bummed out.

You were.

And, like, we had

a really good idea.

And I know that you

weren't gonna do it,

so I had to do it, man.

And I didn't know

he was gonna call you.

How could I have known that?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, now I know why

I got the job.

Nobody else called.

Just please let me

stay with you.

Please let me stay with you.

I will be so good.

I won't touch anything

or eat their food.

I won't take your money.

I just-well, I'll be there,

and we'll, like, hang out.

All right, okay.

I heard you the first 50 times.

Can I come, then?

Let's just wait

and see how it goes.

They could be nice.

You don't know.

No, I do know.

Normal people do not pull

the kind of stuff

that those people

pulled with you today.

They just don't.

Look who's talking.

That's different.

People make mistakes.

It happens.

I mean, hey, they live

all the way out here

in the country.

So they're at least

normal enough

to have real jobs

that pay tons of money.

You think having lots of money

makes you normal?

You've clearly never met

my family.

Well, we'll see.

Yes, we will.

Hey, yo, check it.

Volvo.

Safest car on the road.

Holy crap.

Hi.

I'm Samantha,

the babysitter.

This is my friend, Megan.

Vincent Ulman.

Very nice to meet you both.

Such beautiful girls.

Please come inside.

Have a seat.

You're a doll for agreeing

to this.

I mean it.

Oh, it's nothing, really.

I can't tell you how much

of a relief it'll be

to get this night behind us.

You know, we only arrived

in town very recently,

and we really haven't had

a moment to spare,

you know, what with the eclipse

and all.

So are you a teacher

or something?

No.

I mean, not exactly.

Just-did you know

both of you live

in one of the most perfect

places on Earth

to get a clear view

of it tonight?

We heard.

Yeah, this place is quite

the astronomer's dream.

Are you an astronomer?

No, not exactly.

Samantha, could I have

a word with you

in the other room, please?

Um... sure.

I hope you don't have

a problem,

but you have to understand

that I am only paying one person

for their time.

Oh, yeah.

No, Megan's not staying.

She's just my ride.

I don't have a car,

so she was just dropping me off.

Oh, good.

And please forgive me

for sounding rude.

It's just that my wife

is very on edge

about this whole situation.

You're not being rude.

I understand.

Unfortunately, no,

I'm afraid you don't.

Excuse me?

Please sit down.

You have to forgive me,

Samantha,

because I've not been

completely honest.

You see,

we actually don't have a child.

We have a child, but he's grown.

This job tonight

is not for a child

but for my wife's mother.

Oh.

Hear me out.

Mr. Ulman, um,

I don't have any experience

with anything like that.

I think maybe you should find-

Okay, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to-

Listen, this is not anything

like you're imagining.

There's nothing medical

that you would

have to do whatsoever.

In fact, you don't have to do

much of anything and...

I find this all a bit awkward.

But you have to understand

I have only the best intentions.

I've been putting advertisements

out for the past two weeks

to get someone for tonight.

But nobody responds

to elderly assistants

or home care anymore.

So I thought maybe "babysitter"

would get a better response.

But to be honest,

it didn't do much.

And like I said on the phone,

I only got one other girl.

And when I told her the truth,

she backed out, so...

I mean, I figure

it's all the horror stories

that you read in the paper

and see on TV

that have scared away

girls of your age

from these types

of opportunities.

Yeah, there's a lot

of weirdoes out there.

You're right.

And I sincerely apologize

for being dishonest,

but what I'm asking of you

is not that different

than what you expected.

It's essentially

just like babysitting.

I'm sorry.

I appreciate your situation.

I do.

Okay, what will it take?

How about if I gave you

another $100?

Okay, okay.

$200.

That's $300 for one night.

Please.

You have no idea

how important this is.

$400.

Hey.

Megan.

Jeez, come on.

Hold on.

Megan.

Come on, wait a second.

Are you out of your mind?

Do you remember the game plan?

The game plan was,

if they're weird, we leave.

This is beyond weird.

It's mental.

You know, they lied to you.

They lied to you.

- I know, okay.

- They're liars.

I know you're right.

But it's $400.

It's $400 for four hours.

This equals first month's rent

and then some,

and all I have to do

is sit inside and watch TV.

It's too good to be true.

Did you ever think

it is too good to be true?

Megan, please.

I need the money.

It's so stupid.

Ugh.

I'm so mad at you.

Look, you're being

a great friend right now.

But this is huge.

This one night changes

everything for me.

Come on.

It's only a few hours.

That's it.

Just promise me you'll be here

by 12:
30, and then it's over.

Just promise me.

Okay, fine, fine.

Okay, yeah.

Oh, God, Sam.

You can be such

a f***ing idiot sometimes.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh,

you scared the crap out of me.

Take it easy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I just thought you could use

a light, is all.

So sue me for being helpful.

I almost just died.

Oh, my God.

I almost just had a heart attack

and died.

Here.

You do it.

It's safer.

Thanks.

All better?

Aces.

It's freezing out here.

Okay.

Where the hell

did you come from?

Did you just hide?

Are you-are you not

the babysitter?

No, I'm not the babysitter.

My friend-

See, here we are.

Half your payment in advance

just to ease your mind.

And here's a little more

to get something to eat.

There's a number

on the refrigerator

for a pizza place.

I know you college kids

love pizza.

Mom is asleep,

and as I said before,

there's really no need

for concern.

She's old, but she's actually

quite able-bodied,

actually

more able-bodied than...

than myself, I hate to say.

But if she needs anything,

she'll be able to get it

herself.

She's quite independent.

Most likely,

you won't even see her.

But you need to be alert

just in the off chance

that there's an emergency.

You understand.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, this is mostly

for my wife's benefit.

She's, you know,

the paranoid type.

But you get it.

It all sounds easy enough

to handle.

Terrific.

Oh, right.

There's-

It's the number where we'll be

just in case you need us.

Oh, yeah, there's a number

on fridge for pizz-

I already said that, didn't I?

Yeah.

If this wasn't screwed on...

but I've said too much as it is,

so I'm gonna get upstairs

and get the missus.

And you just make yourself

comfortable.

And I'll be back in two shakes

of a lamb's tail.

Okay, thanks.

I've done everything

you asked.

Well, there's not going to be

any more mistakes.

No, this one, she's perfect.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote