The Hustlers Page #4

---

It would be terrible if you broke up.

I proposed to her.

What?

I got down on my knees

and the whole works. - Why?

Because I love her.

Wait a minute.

You're screwing with me.

- I want you to be my best man.

Nothing will change. I promise.

How about congratulations

or something like that?

Friends usually congratulate...

That's it. Now we'll wait

for an Indian summer.

Thank you. It's a wrap.

Indian summer. Indian summer.

See you at the caf.

I'll give you a feather.

Don't shake your head like that.

You're not going anywhere!

- Wonderful!

You're a naughty boy.

- Yes, I've been so naughty.

Get in and we'll go.

- Hurry up!

Ladies and not so ladylike ladies!

Lance Armstrong!

Weather homo.

Ls Anna really worth all this?

- Yes.

I'm sitting there with my dick out,...

drinking beer

and watching porn on TV...

Chief, why don't you just shut up.

Let's change the subject.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Night Club Kaivohuone.

Hi.

I know. I'll call my friend.

His dad is someone big in Moscow.

He said I can borrow his airplane.

We'll party in Moscow.

- Sure, spearer.

You talk big, but no one

has taken you seriously in years.

That's right.

My wife Rita said you're

the biggest loser she's ever met.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I thought your wife

was in love with me...

because she begged

for more sex at Assa's party.

You didn't know

that I f***ed your wife...

in her bachelorette party?

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Hold this.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you.

- Too bad.

Tele and Tubby started this!

Come and try again!

Come here!

Peace.

Let it go. Assa?

I've had enough

getting kicked out of bars.

This was meant to happen.

- You mean this?

You think

your bachelor party is over?

Well, I've still got

a couple of intact organs.

Thanks for the bachelor party.

You're welcome.

You ever think about

where this train is going? - Yes.

I think about it all the time.

Ever since that accident,...

I've asked myself

if there's any sense in all this.

Does there need to be sense?

Can't we just be? Let life guide you.

I'll ask one last time.

Please, don't do this to yourself.

Don't become a dog.

Think really hard

if Anna is worth it.

Yes, she is.

No, she's not.

Sh*t. I was supposed to see Saku.

- Today?

What do I tell him?

Hi. - Where are you?

Your beer is getting cold.

I'm sorry.

Something came up...

Do you have time next week?

Do I have time?

Let me check my calendar.

I have all kinds of things,...

but I think I'll be able to fit you.

I'm really sorry.

This isn't about you.

Please, do me a favor...

and stop talking to me

like you talk to women.

Anna is ovulating.

We're making a baby.

Anna is ovulating.

They're making a baby.

That's beautiful.

I won't bother you any longer.

Please continue. Bye.

He didn't like that.

Assa flaked out again?

- They're trying to have a baby.

You want to take a last-minute flight

somewhere? - Okay.

Really?

Always.

A contest.

Who comes up with the yuckiest shot?

Whoever pukes first loses. - Okay.

C. 0. C. K.

Wow, this is fresh!

- You're perfect.

Let's get married.

- Oh, honey...

As much as I like you,

I can't be with you.

Because I'm a man and

you're a woman? - Well, yeah.

Relationships are not for you.

You know that.

I can be in a relationship

if I want to. - Uh-huh.

I bet you won't last a month

with someone.

Will you go to bed with me if I do?

- No.

Will you marry me if I do?

- Yes, I will.

I will.

You will... You're perfect.

Excuse me.

Can you bring me a glass of water...

cause I'm so hungry

that I don't know...

where to spend the night?

C'mon, don't be like that.

Be like this.

I'm Saku. Can I buy you a drink?

Hi, honey.

I thought we'd go for a picnic.

You remembered

our one-month anniversary.

That's why we're going for a picnic.

- You mean like, in the snow?

Yeah, like in the snow.

No, at my place.

You're sweet.

Did you have a good day?

- It was okay.

Were the customers nice?

Guess what I'd like to do next?

- What?

Like, go rent a movie.

Like, make hot chocolate and cuddle.

You know what I'd like to do next,

like?

You probably want to go rent a movie.

Make hot chocolate and cuddle.

Travel to Tallinn for sushi.

My friend has a helicopter,

and he owes me a flight.

I'm serious.

- That's a great idea...

...but can't we just stay home

and watch W?

Don't be a f***ing granny, okay?

What's wrong with chilling at home

with your sweetheart?

Wouldn't it be cooler to chill

in Tallinn with your sweetheart?

In Prague, New York or wherever.

Huh? It would.

You get tired of champagne if you

drink it all the time. - What's that?

If everything is always so awesome,...

nothing will be awesome in the end.

- What a load of sh*t.

Honey, look at me.

Let's go watch TV, please.

Go watch TV by yourself. Please.

Maybe I will.

Honey bunny, don't be mad at me.

Saku is really sorry.

Teddy bear's here to cheer you up.

What the f*** is going on?

Huh?

- C'mon.

How do you dare?

If you want to cuddle,

I'll find you a girlfriend.

Are you crazy? - Yes, for letting

a lesbian seduce my girlfriend.

The girlfriend you got to get me

in bed. - You're my f***in' roommate!

Are you f***in' blind?

I'm cleaning up your mess here!

I'll go to the bar.

Have your ass out before I get back.

I wish I had been wrong about you.

You're nothing

but a co-dependent loser.

You live through other people.

Like I said, I'm going to the bar.

Have your ass out before I get back.

And her, too.

- F*** you!

And grow up, for f***'s sake!

Hi

- Assa, we have to meet.

How about tomorrow?

Get back to bed!

Anna, back to bed

What did you want to say?

Nothing, actually.

Bye.

Are you in bed already?

- I'm not telling you.

What are you doing?

- I'm not telling you.

Are you hiding?

- Yes.

The problem is not

that he wants that.

He doesn't know what he wants.

Remember that I want a girl.

I've known him since childhood

I've saved him from his choices.

My friend 3 girlfriend

mined our friendship too.

He used to party,

but now when you call him,...

he'll tell you

he'll stay home with his girl...

and do the dishes together.

Shut up for a moment.

It's insane.

And now this insemination.

I mean, think about.

He's twenty-one

and he's living like...

like he's thirty.

That's right.

I don't want to go home!

We have to go.

- I wanted to stay in daycare.

I don't want to!

No, I don't want to!

Good evening. I'll give you

Alcoholic.

F***!

I think this time we did it.

I'm serious.

- Seriously?

Who's that?

Sh*t.

What happened?

- Mira left me.

I'll ask him to come in.

Don't move. - I won't.

I don't want to see him.

- We'll go out. I'll be back at ten.

You said you wouldn't drink.

- One beer can't ruin the whole load.

Don't go.

- At eleven.

How are you?

Well, making a baby

is a little harder than I thought.

We lost a baby at six weeks.

- What?

A miscarriage?

People say it's common,...

but it's really tough,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes