The Ides of March

I'm not a Christian.

I'm not an atheist.

I'm not Jewish.

I'm not Muslim.

My religion

and what l believe in

is called the Constitution

of the United States of America.

- Hang on.

- Did you get that?

- And let me open these up.

- Hmm?

Okay, go ahead.

If l'm not religious enough for you,

don't vote for me.

If l'm not experienced enough

for you...

don't vote for me.

Uh...

You know what? Don't vote for me.

Don't. Don't do it.

Whatever you do,

don't vote for me. How's that?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- We got it. Thanks.

Can we get the monitors up a little?

I'd like the governor to be able to hear himself.

- You got it.

- Okay.

Also... are we gonna put risers

under these podiums

like we discussed

in the preconditions?

No, I know. We didn't get

the specs till last night.

- They're making something slide right under that.

- Okay. Thank you.

- It's just they're few inches short,

so it makes it hard for him

to read his notes.

- Okay.

Gentlemans, thank you.

And I see you in a few hours.

Didn't know the governor

had trouble reading his notes.

Why he isn't wearing glasses?

No, he doesn't. Just Pullman is 5'8".

He's gonna look like a hobbit.

l like Mike! l like Mike!

Well, it all comes down to this.

We are one week away

from the Ohio primary.

Two democrats on left standing.

Senator Pullman of Arkansas

trailing Governor Morris

of Pennsylvania.

Governor Morris has mounted

a sizable lead, with 2047 delegates,

winning New Hampshire, California,

New York and Michigan.

But Senator Pullman, with 1302

delegates, is still in the hunt,

having won Florida and Tennessee

and Virginia and Missouri.

A win in Ohio could turn it all

aroundfor the Arkansas senator.

One week from Tuesday,

the all-important 161 Ohio delegates

could be the deciding factor.

Once again, it is true,

as goes Ohio, so goes the nation.

Would you call yourself Christian?

How would that matter?

"Let me quote. l have no idea

what happens when we die.

Maybe nothing. Maybe it's like

before we were born." Unquote.

- You did write this governor.

- Let me be specific.

Please do.

l was raised Catholic.

l am not a practicing Catholic.

And l have no idea what happens

after we die.

If the senator does,

maybe he should be president.

l'll vote for him.

ls that your idea of being specific?

- Let me be more specific.

- Thank you.

I am not a Christian or an atheist.

I'm not Jewish or Muslim.

What l believe, my religion,

is written on a piece of paper

called The Constitution.

Meaning that I will defend,

until my dying breath, your right

to worship, in whatever god

you believe in,

as long as it doesn't hurt others.

I believe we should be judged

as a country,

by how we take care of the people

who cannot take care of themselves.

That's my religion.

If you think l'm not religious enough,

don't vote for me.

If you think l'm not experienced enough,

or tall enough, don't vote for me.

Because I can't change that

to get elected.

l just wanted you to say out loud

if you believe

in the teaches of the Bible.

ls this a Democratic primary

or a general election?

Well governor,

whoever wins this contest

will be running for president.

And if you think that

these questions won't be central

in a general election,

then you are living in fantasy land.

l'm simply pointing to the obvious.

We are running for president

of the United States,

not student council president.

- Double?

- Yeah, double.

F***ing national security.

- Out of the park.

- Home run.

The alumni of Miami

University of Ohio

would like to thank you

for attending tonight's debate

and ask you to please remain in your seats

until the candidates have left the stage.

Thank you very much.

You know, I'm trying to remember

if the Democrats

have ever nominated

an atheist before.

Well, we know they've

nominated a jackass before.

Oh, must have been you

that did that prep work, Stephen.

Paul's not that clever.

You've always had the brain' stuff.

But me, l've had the balls.

Well, it looks like you've

got some brains now too.

Be careful. I just might

have to steal him from you.

Hm.

What a prick.

We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But l know we'll meet again

Some sunny day, oh

So Paul, tell me something l don't know.

Tell me what's going

to happen on the 15th.

- Oh, God.

- What?

- What do you think, Stevie?

- I think it's ours for the taking. You?

- Yeah. Ben?

- Yeah, we'll win.

- What do you think, lda?

- I'm asking you.

Oh, you tell me, I'll tell you.

If l had to say,

I'd say it'll be close,

but you'll eke it out.

"Eke"?

You see?

She's trying to get under my skin.

- So, what's gonna happen?

- Us by nine.

so you're certain

you're gonna win here?

- Certain, no. Confident, yeah.

- You just said you'll win by nine.

And I think that we will. l'm not

gonna tell you it's a sure thing.

If the fuking Saint Gabriel can blow

his horn on election day,

and get his Four Horsemen

to rig the ballot boxes for Pullman,

and it wouldn't surprise me.

Six presidentials l've done

and I've never felt this good.

But I'm not gonna sit here and say,

"Yeah, hey, we'll win Ohio."

Not a chance.

In the last 30 years,

How many have won? Three.

That means 70 guys ran who thought

they had a chance, and they all lost.

So you're saying there's

a big chance you won't win.

Don't twist my words Ida.

What l'm saying is

I'm not gonna promise you we'll win.

But he's a decorated of Bush Junior

from the first Gulf War,

he protested the second,

he left his state with a balanced

budget and the fourth-highest

education rate.

The Republicans, have no one out there

that can touch this guy.

For this moment, this election,

this primary, is the presidential.

And that, Ida,

is the state of the union.

And on that note...

I'm gonna take a sh*t.

- So, Stephen.

- So, Ida.

- Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.

- Ida, Ida, lda.

- Paul's going to the airport.

- Yeah.

- He's getting on a plane.

- That's what you do going at airport, yeah.

Where's that plane going?

Okay.

- I'll give you three guesses.

- He's not going back to headquarters.

- Correct.

- He's not going to Texas.

No need. We're gonna split Texas.

So it's a wash.

What if I said North Carolina?

- Is that your guess?

- He's going to North Carolina.

- I can neither confirm nor deny that.

- I knew it. Now tell me why.

- I cannot do that.

- Ugh. I hate you.

- You love me.

- I love Paul. You, I hate.

You love him

because he gives you the scoops.

- Sexual favors.

- You're engaged.

If it meant a good scoop,

my fiance would understand.

You really buy into

all this crap.

All this "take back the country"

nonsense.

Ida, I'm not naive, okay?

I've worked on more campaigns

than most people have

by the time they're 40.

I'm telling you, this is the one.

- You really have drunk the Kool-Aid.

- I have drunk it. It's delicious.

Look, l don't care if he happens

to be leading in the polls

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes