The Idiots

The tension mounts, hits the roof

and falls to earth with a bang...

I'd like some prawns.

Prawns? I'm afraid...

- Are you alone?

- Yes.

- I'd like a salad then.

- With Parma ham? Parmesan cheese?

And then?

We have salmon... cheese.

It sounds lovely,

but I'm afraid I can't afford it.

Can we afford a mineral water?

Or shall we use the faucet?

- A mineral water.

- A mineral water. Certainly.

Your salad. Bon appetit.

Come along.

- No.

- Yes, come along.

No, no.

- Stoffer, pick that up!

- Klaus is coming.

Hi!

Hi, hi!

Stoffer, I don't think

they think it's funny.

There's nothing to be afraid of,

nothing is happening.

Nothing is happening.

- Hi, hi.

- Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Excuse me...

You must keep him under control.

- He won't do anything.

- I must consider the other diners.

Henrik, Henrik,

where are you going?

- Where are you going?

- Klaus is coming.

Let's sit down again

like the waiter wants.

Shut up!

- It's... it's his birthday.

- Happy Birthday, but it won't do.

Stoffer, come on, we're going home.

- No!

- Easy, now.

Stoffer, Stoffer, easy now.

Nothing's going to happen.

- Shut up.

- It's no good us being here, right?

Come on, Christoffer, we're going.

You and me?

Shall we go outside together?

- Would you?

- If he'd like to.

You'd be most welcome.

- Klaus is coming.

- Yes, he may be outside already.

- Good-bye.

- Good-bye and thank you.

OK, Stoffer, let go now.

She's not coming any further.

Let's go now.

Stoffer, let go.

- It doesn't matter.

- Let go! The lady's not coming.

Stoffer, let go.

I've had enough.

I've had enough.

If you're going to be like this.

I don't think it's funny.

- Sorry, Susanne.

- Yes, sorry.

What the hell could we do?

That lunch would have cost a fortune.

- You do have the fare, don't you?

- Of course.

They're just...

Don't mind them.

Don't worry.

Karen was the last to join the group.

She was really nice.

It wasn't that.

Karen was really nice,

but she was also...

I think she'd have joined anything.

I don't know how she came

to the factory, but she did.

I don't know...

I don't know what she thought.

She was right when she said,

"You're poking fun."

Yes, we were poking fun.

Hi, Stoffer.

Hi.

Now we get out of the car again,

right?

Are you the person I talked to?

Welcome to the factory.

Oh, you've brought a wheelchair?

Don't leave her behind.

It may sound a bit... a bit dull.

But when you get to know it,

it's actually a fascinating product.

Hey, no, no!

You mustn't do that.

Watch this.

I'm going to stop the entire

production of Rockwool in Denmark.

- And it stops.

- No!

- No!

- Don't worry.

Hey, you! Come over here!

Don't be frightened.

Press the green button.

Do you see it? Come on!

It's fireproof, as you see.

Nothing's on fire.

Don't be frightened.

Nothing will happen. Wait for the bang.

Shall we have a soda?

Yeah...

Don't press that...

Just let it hang there.

Now, you've heard about

Rockwool and how it works.

Now, I'll ask you...

... which of these houses

is insulated with Rockwool?

Yes?

Come on up...

That was almost right.

Those who think this one is insulated

with Rockwool put your hands up.

Rather a lot...

I think I can hear your minibus.

I think they're leaving.

Don't get left behind.

There.

That's the best place, almost.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye.

That's the lot.

Give us a hand, Karen.

Who... is he driving?

Responsibility does them good.

No, not...

- Is that really a good idea?

- No harm done, he's doing fine.

Reverse, reverse!

Thanks for coming.

We have a driver

Who is a nutter

At our camp

At our camp

We have a driver

Who is a nutter

At our camp

Where we are...

What do you think?

I don't think it was very funny.

Why not?

You poke fun.

- They're the ones who poke fun.

- Stoffer, cool it.

Anders speaking.

Is that you, Karen?

Jeppe copped out right in the middle

and it pisses me off.

He didn't cop out.

- But you think so?

- He wasn't there.

It was written all over his face.

You should f***ing well play along.

Leave him alone.

Did you think I was bad too?

I wasn't watching anybody.

I was trying to feel it for myself.

Surely that's allowed?

I can't say whether

you were good or bad.

What are you writing?

That I was good or bad or...?

I write that you were...

Bad.

You can sleep here if you want.

There's enough room.

I'm not going to sleep here.

I'd just like to sit a while.

I thought Jeppe was good.

- Where the hell was Jeppe good?

- He was good by the machine.

He did f*** all by the machine.

F*** all.

I know.

That was what was so cool.

A quick summary of what we were at?

No, an understandable summary.

I've heard 17 different versions.

A quick summary? They wanted

to f*** as many as possible...

... as quickly as possible.

Isn't that so, Axel?

Axel says it was his idea.

I think it was Stoffer's.

It was my idea,

but it was Stoffer...

... who wanted

to do something about it.

That's funny. None of the others

say it was your idea.

How come? None of them!

Would Stoffer

also say it was a game?

No. I don't think so.

- But it was?

- Yes, it was, really.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, Honey.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Axel, you have a visitor.

- Actually, it's Katrine.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Hi.

- Hi, Katrine.

Is there something I've got wrong?

You didn't go to Jutland?

Sure.

I've been to Jutland.

Because I thought

this spassing about was pathetic.

- So what the hell are you back for?

- I've changed my mind.

- "Changed your mind"?

- Yes. Is that wrong?

You might have come

to get me back again, right?

What the hell would I see in you, man?

- Oh, Katrine...

- You think very highly of yourself.

Quit touching me.

Your lies are pouring out

of every hole in your body.

- What's your problem?

- No problem.

If that's the way you feel,

come on.

You want to go outside? Fine.

Stoffer!

Axel is telling me to beat it.

Pretty weird

when I've come to spass.

- She's come back to get at me.

- Who has?

Three guesses.

Say something to her.

Katrine, have you come to spass

or have you come to get Axel back?

I've come to spass.

What are you doing, Jeppe?

I'm tying this up.

... First round the lake.

No, out of the lake,

round the palm tree, into the lake.

I'm not coming if anyone's

going to be rough or silly.

It's slippery and dangerous

and you can fall and get hurt.

You mean it's slippery

at the public pool?

Axel, are you going to be rough?

- Round the lake...

- Don't look at me.

I know f*** all about knots.

- Heck!

- There's a knot in it.

Why all this scout sh*t?

Who is minder today?

You're minder yesterday.

- Round the palm, into the lake.

- The palm? What's that?

- What do you think?

- Listen up!

It's crazy if I'm the only one

who ever minds.

It's unrealistic.

- Josephine can't even mind herself.

- Thanks a bunch!

Karen, what about you?

Would you?

- Yeah, Karen!

Why are you undoing it again?

Stop... stop it!

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