The Imposter Page #4

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You know, it wasn't real but I did it.

We didn't do a whole lot of talking

the night before we got on the plane.

Not uncomfortable, just silence,

and it was almost like a peaceful silence.

You know, I could hear him breathing

and I just felt pretty peaceful.

I'd been thinking about running away

even before I met her.

All I got to do was take a taxi cab

and, going to a train station,

buy myself a ticket out of Spain.

I could have done that

in a couple of minutes.

Nothing was stopping me, nothing.

I went down a few times in the hallway,

always wondering if I was doing

the right thing, the wrong thing.

Should I go, shouldn't I go,

should I go, shouldn't I go?

When I was born,

I don't think there was much love.

My mother was very, very young at the time

and she was, she was only 17 years old,

met er... older man, which was my father,

from Algeria.

My grandfather was a very racist person

and knowing that the man my mother

spent the night with is an Algerian,

he wanted absolutely my mother

to have an abortion.

Er, to get rid of me

even before I was born.

For him an Arab should be

dealt with a nuclear weapon

and a black man is a monkey.

Before I was born,

I definitely I had the wrong identity.

Er, I already didn't know... I was already

prepared not to know who I really was.

A new identity with a real passport,

an American passport.

I could go to the US, go to school there.

Live with that family

and just being someone.

And don't have never again

to worry about being identified.

I saw the opportunity.

A woman that could go through so much

to get me with her back in a family

which got kids, which seem a fam...

a loving family,

gotta be some... somebody good,

You know, I had conflicting rules

inside my own head.

Carey want me to be Nicholas

but what about the others?

Are they going to want me

to be Nicholas too?

I didn't understand why he was so...

like, nervous, you know what I mean?

He was like, you know,

constantly moving and to the bathroom,

and watching people,

watching me,

he was always watching me.

She was always looking at me.

I attested it to him just being scared.

You know, he's going back home

and we don't know what's happened to him,

how his mind's working.

Um, but he was just...

maybe he was afraid

that, that he wouldn't be recognized

or, or Mom wouldn't love him anymore.

I'm gonna get killed.

And I want...

And I say,

well, maybe the plane better crash.

When they said it was time for us

to board, I... nudged Nick and I said,

"You ready? You ready to go home?"

He said, "I'm ready to go home."

"Let's get the f*** out of here, and go home."

And we got on the plane.

I was really nervous,

anticipation, pretty happy.

You know, we had made it...

It was a family thing, we all went together.

I remember that night, minute by minute.

It was me, my grandma,

my sister and my dad, I believe.

We all loaded up in my Lincoln

to go get my mom and Nicholas.

It was a wait and see

but everybody was excited, you know.

We didn't know what to expect...

I didn't want to go out of the plane.

I wanted to wait.

I wanted to prepare myself.

I didn't have no plan.

I didn't have no strategy.

I knew there was no way out.

I could not turn back.

We had no idea what kind of person

we were getting, who was coming back.

I wanted to run and grab and hold him

but he held back.

So I walked down and grabbed his hand

and hugged him and told him I missed him.

He had changed so much.

It was like mind-boggling.

But then I realized, you know,

you tell yourself, well, he's been

through all this horrendous stuff,

so he's absolutely gonna be different.

I just remember my kids

and my mom and erm, my husband

and just, God, we were so happy.

He was like totally covered up,

so then I got scared, thinking

that this kid's really messed up,

just by his appearance.

He was very quiet and erm, standoffish.

I never liked people to touch me.

And I can't change that.

So when she put her hands around me,

she must have felt

that I wasn't enjoying it at all.

I was very cold, very closed.

I didn't speak to people.

As much as I was happy... I didn't show it.

I had a border in front of me.

I didn't want to screw up.

Of course, it was welcome with open arms

and let's get you home attitude.

Talk about the rest later, you know,

let's just go home.

I just watched him

all the way home in the car

and you could tell he was uneasy.

So we put on a tape, tried to make him

as comfortable as possible.

It was a quiet ride home, you know,

and everybody, you know,

quiet but yet excited.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face

at that point in time, honestly.

I just had a grin and all the way home.

It was just a happy good feeling that...

our long lost Nicholas was home.

I had a family and even more.

I never... I never dreamed of so much.

I never dreamed to be able to

not only stay in a place where I'm loved

but actually to have a family.

When I woke up in Texas country...

.. what I saw wasn't exactly

what I expected to see.

The States for me was big city, it was

big buildings and, and people everywhere.

The first thing

when you open your eyes is official,

your name is Nicholas Patrick Barclay,

that you're born December 31st 1980,

and that every family member

is calling me Nicholas

and not "Nicholas,

but what is your real name?"

No! Nicholas.

"OK, we're going to go shopping, Nicholas."

They drove me around,

and, you know,

I knew I had to recognize something,

so... and I also knew that I couldn't

because I'd never been there before.

Hey, Kirk, how are you doin'?

We met some people that knew Nicholas

before he disappeared.

I told them I didn't remember them, there

was something but I didn't remember them.

Like I had lost my memory,

which is what I told them.

He's traumatized.

That's why he wasn't remembering anything,

because of all, all of the things

that had happened to him.

I remember a sign.

I saw Nicholas in the picture doing this

with his fingers, you know,

his, his way to say "hello", you know,

and I did it a few times with them.

When I was there. That was one of

the only things I knew what to do.

I was thinking to myself

that Nicholas Barclay could come back

at his house any day.

That was my first worry.

I was really worried about that.

I couldn't help it.

I said, "Man, what if he show up?"

What if you opened the door

and say, "Hey, I'm back."

You know.

We thought the best thing for him

was just to have a normal routine.

You get up, you eat breakfast,

you do this, you eat lunch,

you eat dinner, we'd watch a movie,

just the normal family atmosphere.

Me and him hung out.

I'd just take him for drives and talk to him

and turn up the music and stuff.

He'd hang out with Codey and his friends

and after school

they'd go to the park and play,

and, I mean, they would do

what teenagers do.

He actually kinda started liking a girl

in the neighborhood, Amy.

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