The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

I'm gonna kill you!

Why you running away

I got you a birthday present.

Thats ok you didn't have to get me anything

I got you some bark and your gonna eat it

Cool, I was gonna eat bark anyway

No you weren't

Yeah see, all the things you were gonna give me

I was already planning on doing it.

Hmm. so good

Were you planning on not being able to breathe?

Yes

Listen to me winselstein

Nobody likes you, Nobody will ever like you

Do you understand that?

Come on lets split.

Goodbye loser

Mom I'm home

Mom?

Happy birthday little man

I had to work a double shift again

But i love you very much, mom

Ps. dinner is in the fridge and i got you your favorite cake

its on the counter

combine the mix of 2 tsb of oil and 2 eggs.

We're out of eggs, so you need to go get them.

Preheat the oven to 350...

Grease some flour on 9x13 inch cake pan.

And then pour the batter into the pan.

Careful not to spill.

Hello my young friends.

I'm Rance Holloway

You've probably seen me on the Murph Griffith show.

Or live on stage at the fabulous resort and casino in Las Vegas.

That's were I perform such tricks as..

Skateboarding ghost.

The amazing cordless telephone.

And my very famous mouth burn solution.

Wow.

Hahahaha

Do you like that?

Of course you did.

That trick just blew your mind because that's what magic does

It blows peoples minds.

Welcome to the amazing world of magic.

The world were you can ashtonish and enchant those around you.

Because everyone loves a magician.

And if you follow my instrcutions. They'll love you too.

Lets begin now with a simple illusion.

Where we pull pennies out of our nose.

Alakazam!

How did you do that?

A magician never tells his secrets

Oh, OK.

It's a rubber thumb.

Oh, cool!

I'm Anton Marvelton

Burt Wonderstone

You're that kid always in the nurses office right?

Not always.

Sometimes they send me to the hospital.

What are those for?

This one is for my allergies

and this one is for my asthma.

and this is testosterone.

My doctor says i'm dangerously close to being a girl.

Do you know any other tricks?

I have a whole magic kit at home.

Behold.

and empty top hat.

perfectly normal.

Alakazam!

Wow!

Your like a boy witch.

Thank you.

Hey

Why won't you put a plastic bag of water

In the hidden compartment?

Water would come out instead of confetti.

Do you want to be my parter?

More than anything.

Ok,

I think we should star writing down our trick ideas.

Like in a notebook.

Yes!

Like an enchanted notebook with leather and buckles.

All I have is a regular notebook.

That will work.

So then our first trick should be...

Awesome!

Tada!

Burt.

Burt

I want you to come work for me.

here at ballys.

But i need you to do one thing for me.

I need you to dump Anton.

He's on his own leave

No offense.

None taken.

I'm sorry Doug, Anton and I are a team.

Always have been.

Always will be.

Fair enough.

Welcome to ballys boys!

Congradulations.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The incredible Burt and Anton.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

I'm Burt Wonderstone.

and I'm Anton Marvelton

But of course

you already knew that

What you may not know

is that Burt and I have been magical friends and partners since we were young boys

We always knew there was always something a lttle bit different about our friendship.

Remember our game of hangman Burt?

I sure do Anton but we didn't play it quit the way the other kids did

Ladies and gentlemen our beautiful assistant Nicole.

Hold on, Hold on Anton.

We're here to do magic not Nicole.

Right now its time for

"Hangman"

And that's why we call it

a magical friendship

Night after night! after night!

Is like a magic hell.

Taking anymore time to switch out of there.

Stand out there and cloak like an a**hole.

Give me a break Burt

I've been doing the switch the same way every night for the last 10 years.

You're just impatient.

I am impatient! Anton

because I have to share clothes with a sweaty walrus man.

You're just impatient becuase you want to get the show over with.

Can we get a towel for him please? Dab it down.

Well i sweat because i work hard.

Take my phone!

You think it's easy putting on your safety harness in the dark?

would you rather I let the noose just snap your neck off.

Ok, can we do this one show without this bitchfest.

Oh I'm sorry, are we hurtting your performance as a walking manikin?

That's it you know what?

i quit

quit

quit

I quit.

Go get a job a circus so lame!

Dammit Burt that's the second one this month.

Oh it's not like they are hard to replace?

case in point you.

Yes you, what is your name?

Jame.

You know the tricks?

Yes why do you need something?

From now on you're NIcole.

Oh, wow Mr. Wonderstrone that is a tremendous honor.

but I really don't think I'm ready to take on that

If I'm not really rehersed I wouldn't be several years.

That is not an outfit!

You're gonna be great.

Don't worry.

I have a fear.

That is tight!

What she has no ribs?

You took her hair?

You know folks? When you grow up as a magician.

The 1st escape you learn is generally from a school locker.

The jocks hated us

because we always stole their girlfriends away from them

using the power of magic

I like the blonde.

Makes you look cute.

Thanks.

So i finally got this new bed that I ordered.

What? sorry i'm just trying to concentrate. Behind you

it's an uptupple king biggest bed in Vegas. Easily sleeps 2 dozen adults.

If the phone rings and I'm on the other side of the bed

I can't get to it. There's no way.

Ah! God that was close.

Point is it's a huge bed.

and I was wondering would you like to see it tonight?

Nakedly.

Oh, I don't think that is such a good idea. Since we just started working together.

Listen Nicole.

It's Jane

Now that you know this is your first show and this is all very new and exciting.but when you have done this 5000 times.

You will find that having sex with me is the only way to mitigate the miserable drudgery of your existence.

My point is this lets just have sex.

It's not gonna happen.

Are you a lesbian Nicole?

Is every women who doesn't sleep with you a lesbian?

No I've slept with plenty of lesbians.

Wow, I've worshipped you for 10 years and you just made me hate you in 60 seconds.

Right there.

Looks like I'm the one who scored this time you dumb jock.

Ladies and gentlement our most famous illusion.

You'll know where we are going with this one

The one we call.

Man head. Lady body.

Alright, here we go, here we go.

In order to accomplish this impossible feat of impossibility.

We are going to need a female volunteer from the audience.

Female volunteer.

Lets see who we have?

Anyone?

Who will it be?

Man head.

Lady body.

Would you care to join me on stage?

How bout a round of a plause.

I can't beleive I'm really making out with Burt Wonderstone.

It's suppose to be a thrill of a lifetime for you.

Your place is so beautiful.

This is not my place.

This is my place.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, it's so beautiful.

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