The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Page #2

Yes it is, Look at you? Look at me.

My god look at your costume. Yes.

Posters.

Oh my god there you are. And here I am.

Yes come with me please.

Would you do me a kindness and jump up on the bench please. Legs facing that way.

arms as if your holding a giant pumpkin.

Good

So Miranda, what are your hopes and dreams?

I'd really love to own my own hair salon. Thats great your intresting follow me please.

There will be no biting or scratching anything that can leave a mark

This is a standard release form acknowledging that you are over 18 years of age.

and you are willingly consenting to the sex acts that we are about to commit.

That's alot of paper work.

There's alot of sex acts.

Oh my god It's huge!

biggest bed in Vegas.

Hey Jimbo

Hey almost sprinkled the infield there.

You've done such a great job today, I just want to reward you for your excellent service today with this $100

Your just gonna turn it into a $1 bill when i take it.

I don't even know where thats coming from. Who would do that?

That's mean.

A $1 bill is a horrible tip, I'm giving you $100

Oh my gosh you got me again. Yes I did. You never learn. He never learns.

I'm sorry

Hey Jim, I think you got something in your pocket.

Thank you Mr. Marvelton.

Oh look who's here Burt.

Anton, Lucius Belvedere, Rick the Implausible

This is a retreat. I can't remember the last time i saw you two together off stage.

We're both busy thats all.

We see each other everyday.

So how's the show going? Not so good. Good.

Pretty good. Its OK.

I'm in the lobby doing the 2-2:30 shift.

Wednesdays through well just Wednesdays plus i'm doing some webisodes drum up business that way.

What the hell is a webispode?

Are you being serious?

It's a show that you do on the internet

Just like being on TV or movie except you don't go through all the hassle

with people seeing it.

What happen to your hand?

Oh one of my bengal tigers have been getting a little bitty lately.

That's why we're comedy magicians not a big cat magician I wanna kill on stage.

Not have some tiger rip my hand, I don't wanna get killed. I wanna kill on. You know what? Just forget it.

It's tough, It is tough. it's tough. It was funnier in my head.

If i spend more than an hour away from my cats. They forget who I am and attack me.

Sounds like my wife and kids.

If my wife and kids you know I meant my ferrets.

You know if I had a wife and kids you know I wasn't just home alone.

What's going on out there?

eating popsicle after popsicle

I don't know we should probably go check it out right like a group, a bunch of friends.

Appreciate it, seems like an open mided crowd.

but things are about to happen out here that may be difficult for you to process.

If you're at all screamish.

I encourage you to shelter inside the casinos.

Move along.

or just turn it off.

Now give me a moment.

Congradulations.

Truly brave.

I only hope your ready to face the fire!

Get it off!

He totally nailed you with that fireball.

Sorry.

Guilty pleasure.

You're a really good sport.

Whatever that means.

Would you like to help me with a trick?

Sure.

Ooh, now he done it.

Who is this hot mess?

It's Steve Grey, the street magician.

That guys a magician?

He doesn't even have a costume.

Pick a card.

Show it to the crowd, then you.

Now take the marker from your pocket.

and write your mother's name on that card.

But I don't have a...

Oh snap!

Pen.

What's with all the cameras.

He's shooting his cable show, Steve Grey brain rapist.

Brain rapist?

Yeah.

You live in a bubble or something?

Come on, come on.

Dorothy, his mother's name is Dorathy.

Pretty name.

I'm gonna take Dorothy and slide her to the center of the deck.

and put her back in my pocket.

Now punch me in the face.

What?

Punch me in the face as hard as you can.

Not gonna do that.

Of course.

Sometime the roles we're force to play in life are difficult to understand.

Like your mother Dorothy...

Who for the good of sailors everywhere

lived the life of a whore.

Whorothy, that's what they called her.

Surrender whorothy!

You're not in Kansas anymore, whorothy.

No,No,No,No.

Jesus!

Is that a real plant?

That looked like a real punch.

It's OK!

I've already forgiven him.

I provoked him, in the weakest pain body.

Wow, that swelled up pretty quick.

Better let the pressure off.

Better.

Seems like there's something in there.

Let me just...

I wonder what this could be?

It's the card!

Oh thats nuts!

As it was in the beginning...

so shall it be in the end.

I tried to warn them.

That's crazy man.

No, No!

Hello, I haven't seen you around.

I don't beleive I have had the pleasure.

We caught your thing out on the street, and uh...

it was disgusting, pretty good.

Good, bad...

I don't eat from that tree.

Hey, any chance I could get you to sign something for me?

Oh, I don't ususally sign autographs but i suppose i can make an acception.

It's a release form.

Just in case we caught you in the background.

I don't want to pixelate your face.

Do I need to sign a release form?

No I can just pixelate your face.

So anywho, we have a show over at Ballys...

And I could get you some comps if you would like to take a look at our acts.

We do this one trick its a man head lady body.

Tell you what...

Pretend I''m still here and tell me all about it.

From Chicago "Brain rapist"

The world record for stairing was 24 hours.

but I've been doing it for over 3 days now.

And frankly I'm bored.

So I'm gonna spice things up with a little pepper spray.

Bring it.

You see me blinking?

I'm not blinking

For a very long time.

He's like a god, a god of pepper spray.

He certainly is not human.

He broke the record!

Here at Ballys, you'll be pamperd like an enormous baby.

There's a hair dryer and ironing board in every room.

And if you like steak houses.

You'll love Ballys signature steak house.

Ballys steakhouse.

And after dinner check out The Incredible Burt and Anton.

In their own Burt and Anton Theatre.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Burt Wonderstone.

And I'm Anton Marvelton.

Of course you already knew that.

In order to achieve this incredible feat of impossibility...

We will need a female volunteer from the audience

who will that be?

Who will the female volunteer be?

Alright.

Nope.

Your a dude.

Yes 2 million dollars.

OK, I'm sorry about that guys.

How are ya?

I am incredible.

Wow, look how big Judus got?

Yeah.

How old is he now?

I dont know.

But I tell you what.

That kid, that kid is your biggest fan.

Wow, love it!

Unfortunate I'm starting to think he's your only fan.

What?

Your ticket sales suck.

Well, we have the following.

You need a younger crowd, OK?

Have you heard of this Steve Grey guy?

Oh god, let me tell you about Steve Grey.

All that guy does is mumble and cut himself anybody can do that.

My niece does that.

But he's getting the national following between the ages of 25 and 45.

They're calling him the future of magic.

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