The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Page #6

always picking on us.

So we tricked him into pulling flash paper out of a wond.

It exploded in his face and the whole class laughed.

Oh that must of been a good day?

It was the best.

The next day not so much.

The kid came back, beat Anton almost to death.

Oh, No

He was alright.

Well at least you had Anton.

Yes.

I had imaginary friends and even they were mean, so...

a life of a child magician.

Yes try being a girl magic magician, they called me magic b*tch.

They did?

Yes.

They called me magic b*tch.

No!

Well now

Do you have any gigs coming up?

As a matter of fact, I have a very important international

galla

Known as Doug Mummy's kid birthday party.

Oh, thats.

Pathetic I know.

No, I was gonna say cool.

Kids love magic right?

Right.

I know your probably busy but...

I was thinking maybe you could be there.

I am busy.

but I'll be there.

Your so lucky.

Rance, its Burt the party is today.

just a gentle reminder call me.

You made it.

Well I love cake so...

You ready?

I think i'm ready but Rance isn't here yet so...

Rance is not here

Don't worry.

You'll be fine.

I'm not nervous thank you.

Right.

Good Luck.

I don't need luck I need Rance.

He'll be here.

Alright.

OK.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I want to thank you all for celebrating my sons...

How old are you?

My son's 10th birthday.

Judah...

my love...

my life...

my dreams

happy birthday.

Thanks dad.

Now Judah's birthday isn't the real reason

I invited you all out here today.

as many of you know my new hotel Doug will be opening soon

and in a few weeks I myself will be hosting a showcase of Vegas

hottest acts.

and which ever entertainer dazzles me the most...

will get a 5 year contract as Dougs headliner

how bout that huh?

and I am very pleased to announce that we have have our first official

entrance into that competition.

right here with us today he's a world famous magician

ladies and gentlemen...

Steve Gray!

Good to see you Steve, thanks for coming.

and i'll see you nect month at the showcase.

alright ladies and gentle now to entertain the children.

Burt Wonderstone, thank you.

I have a question for you.

Don't you wish you had a quarter for every time your parents

told you to clean behind your ears?

Yes.

Well there's one.

That's great!

and yes there's another one!

and the birthday boy.

When was the last time you cleaned behind your ears?

Never.

I didn't think so.

because Judah has the grostest ears of all!

You are rich my friend.

Thats so cool.

Amazing.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Wait!

You kids want to see some real magic?

I pulled my thumb off.

Thats not it.

Steve, what are you doing? Your not

suppose to be performing today.

Just giving the people what they want.

Hey guys, check this out.

You know if your like me, your probably thinking

that coin trick.

that was a, tasty little orderve.

but my inner child is hungry...

and crying out for something more nourishing.

What have you got on the grill?

Oh my God!

Whats he doing?

What is he doing?

You see that?

You see what i'm doing here?

Look at that, look at it!

Now look at this.

"Happy birthday"

In cursive.

That is a terrible trick to do for children. What

if they try and copy you?

I'll sue them.

Its my trick

Hey guys, have you ever been to a party and someone has on the

exact same outfit?

Yeah

Sure.

Well here is a solution for that.

Thank you.

Wonderstone.

Boring!

Here's how I hammer a nail.

You need anything worked done around the house near

know my summer cotage that way.

ALright very good, very good indeed but this is a classic.

meaning its been done.

Judah what is your favorite animal?

a mole? sloth? a puppy?

a puppy

Lets make a puppy for judah birthday shall we?

There you go a puppy

Its not really that cute is it?

It sort of a lame puppy I think I can do better

I'll start again.

Alakazam

There you go my friend, happy birthday Judah.

Thanks I'm going to call him Wonderstone.

Can I see Wonderstone for a second?

Hey everybody what this everyone

What an adorable little life form.

You know I bet I can make him even smaller.

and a little less adorable.

Stop it, stop it!

Give me the dog.

Give me the dog!, Give me the dog!

Give him to me!

Wow!

Wonderstone has disappeared

I wonder where he went.

Probably where all Wonderstones go eventually

into obscurity

Daddy, daddy he crushed my dog!

Are you sure about that Judah?

Are you sure about anything?

because I think I hear something moving

in this box right over here

go ahead and open that

wonderstone! your OK.

Thats a different dog you sick bastard, where's the other one?

don't you worry about it.

He's in a very safe place.

Top that puppy pants.

God damn you,

Happy birthday Judah

Chin up Burt, bad thing don't happen to us, they happen for us.

Why couldn;t you let him do just one show?

cause I want that gig at Doug

Not really I don't care.

I want it.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing is wrong with me.

everything is in perfect alignment

I worked too long and too hard to get where I am

and no one is going to stop me not Wonderstone, not you

not even me

the future belongs to Steve Gray

and incase you haven't noticed...

I'm Steve Gray

Well Steve Gray you are a terrible human being

and whats worst your a really bad magician

so I quit

Nice exit but i'm still here

What your gonna do now?

walk off in a half

excellent

women

they are a mystery Judah

Burt?

He put a dog in my pants, Jane

I see

He put a live dog in my pants

I'm sorry

No one has ever done that to me before.

I hope not.

he was teething.

So gross.

Hello?

What?

Rance

I missed the show

Don't worry about that

This is Jane

Hi Jane, Rance Holloway

Of course I know who you are

What happend?

I had a stroke

I don't recommend it either it is not as much fun as they

tell you in the brochures

How'd it go did you do the tricks?

Oh it was fine

Did they laugh were they amazed

they loved it it was great

great

If i've known how much fun it would be to work with a partner

I would have done it years ago

Its time for my final disappearing act

goodbye Burt

where did he go?

he has gone to a better place

goodbye Rance

he's under the bed.

I know.

Hey Winselstein

You came back

and what about your work with the poor?

Yeah they didn't actually want magic

They wanted food and clean water

the fools

please

so..?

so...?

so good to see your face

would you like an onion ring?

I've missed you so much.

Oh, Burt

I just missed you so much

I've missed you too.

After what I did to you I didn't think you would ever be my friend

I can't understand you

I didn't think you would want to be my friend

Oh I will always be your friend

And I'll alays be your friend

I can't tell you what that means to me

Yes you can

It means alot

Your friendship means more to me than anything in the world

Burt stop

So happy

So happy

I promised myself I wasn't going to do this

I promised myself I was going to do this

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