The Internship

1

An old man...

...turned ninety-eight.

Won the lottery and

died the next day.

Why is this sh*t on

the get-psyched mix?

If I don't throw you

a curveball, you get

bored and the mix loses

its intended effect.

I want to get revved up and

this song isn't doing it.

I defy you to crush this

chorus and not get psyched.

Won't happen.

Don't you think?

It's like rain...

...on your wedding day.

A free ride...

...when you've already paid.

It's good advice...

Help me out here!

...that you just didn't take.

And who would have thought?

It figures.

Mr. Play It Safe...

Classic Alants.

...was afraid to fly.

He was afraid.

- Bring it home.

- Oh, yeah.

Go home, Papi. Yes!

We got our jam on now.

Jump to it!

It was a dry June.

It needn't be said out loud,

but we need this sale.

I'm so confident

we'll close this,

I'm ordering the

Pappy Van Winkle.

It's pricey, but I want to

spiritually invest in our success.

If you didn't order the Pappy,

I'd send you back to the car...

...to listen to the

get-psyched mix again!

Go over the stat sheet.

Bob Williams. Married 16 years.

Wife Karen. One daughter.

That's page one. Let me

hip you to page two.

Daughter's name is Skyler.

Big into

gymnastics. Aces on

the pommel horse.

He don't just tell it, he

shows it with pictures.

Everyone's searching for

something, right, Bob?

Love. Success.

But what's the one thing

no one can get more of?

Time.

And you can't fight it.

Oh, you don't have to tell me.

Look at my little girl.

How old is Skyler now?

Just turned nine.

Nine?! Skyler's nine?!

Good Lord. How old does

that make all of us?

Don't answer that, Bob!

I was about to answer.

Soon she'll be borrowing

Karen's makeup and

you'll have two

beauties on your hands!

Lock the door. It's coming.

Double digits.

Skyler still giving them

hell on the pommel horse?

Want to see a photo? If

it's not too much trouble.

Let me show you Sky.

Look at her.

She's really sprouted.

Yeah, Skyler's really

slimming down.

I'll tell you what, she's

eating really healthy.

Mostly fruits and nuts.

Her choice.

No telling what this girl on a

squirrel diet could end up doing.

Win us the gold, make us proud?

Damn right she could. I think

she's already made you proud.

Guilty, my friend.

Oh, guys, it goes so fast.

Like a freight train on the

track, clickety-clack.

Now she's got a boyfriend... a

guy you'll like, hopefully.

Clickety-clack, she's married.

Clickety-clack, she's

putting you in a home!

She would do it, too.

She would.

Only when you forget who she is.

I'm kidding!

It feels good to laugh

about Alzheimer's.

You can't control time.

But you can manage it.

Mmm. Bob...

...the Chronoshock

Aught Thirteen.

Carpe diem. These babies

will fly off your shelf.

I know you have six

stores now, so you'll

probably want a larger

order than last year's.

You're kidding, right?

Your business has been folded.

I'm sorry?

No, there's been some chatter. The

last few years have been rough.

But who hasn't felt the pinch?

They didn't tell you, did they?

I thought you guys wanted to

grab dinner for old times' sake.

Your company is closed. I hate

to be the one telling you that.

I know that I can't buy

the watches because...

...your company doesn't exist

anymore, but I wish I could!

That's how good you guys are!

One round of Pappy Van Winkle.

Enjoy, gentlemen.

Oh.

Wow. That is expensive stuff.

You know, Bob, uh...

...do you mind...

Say no more. I'm doing this.

Let's slice the pie three ways.

That's silly. I'm doing

really, really...

really well right now and

you guys are not... at all.

Let me do this.

Let's just split it. Go Dutch.

Okay.

Let's be three Dutchmen. But

this Dutchman's going to pay

when he can in a couple weeks.

What the f***, Sammy?

What the f*** me?

What the f*** you!

Who told you you could

barge into my office

without an appointment?

You closed the company?!

Then you send us out on a

sale we really needed and had

Bob Williams drop

that bomb on us?!

Bob Williams' got a

big f***ing mouth.

Yeah, he does.

Forget the sale. Nobody

wears a watch anymore...

they check their phones.

Disagree. Cite your source.

Kids, maybe. There's

a broader market.

Lorraine, what time is it?

10:
26.

One hip pioneering secretary

does not a cultural trend make.

She's 75. Watches are

obsolete, and so are you two.

Obsolete? What does that mean?

It means everything's

computerized now!

It's cheaper for a machine

to tell companies

what to order than a

manufacturer's rep.

No, people have a deep

mistrust of machines.

Have you seen "Terminator"?

Or "Two"? Or "Three"?

Or "Four"?

Yep. Mmm-hmm. All of them.

People want to deal with

people, not Terminators.

People hate people!

Times have changed.

That's so negative.

Luckily I saw this coming, cashed

out, bought a condo in Miami...

...new tits for the wife. Silicone.

It's legal again.

Saline's out?

Me and the old lady will

be tucked away nice.

Great for you, huh? Perfect.

So that's it, right?

But what about us, Sammy?

You two were great salesmen.

The best!

But at the end of the

day, you're grinders.

Foot soldiers. You'll

never be generals.

I'm going to say

something harsh now.

Now you're going to

say something harsh?

Strap it in, 'cause it

ain't pretty out there.

And you two are dinosaurs.

Face it. Where you're going...

...you've already been.

Thank you for your service.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

But I have to worry

about the now.

I don't know what I'm

going to say to Megan.

It's like rain...

No. Let it play.

For the love of

God, let it play.

It's a free ride when

you've already paid.

Go.

Megan, let's talk about this.

Is it because I'm too unselfish in bed?

I can change.

It won't be easy,

but I'll do it.

It's always darkest

before the dawn.

No, Billy. It's actually darkest

in the middle of the night.

Enough's going on without

arguing about proverbs.

I knew things weren't great, but to

come home to a foreclosure sign?

Can we hug? Can I touch it? No!

I could have avoided this if the

Bob Williams deal hadn't gone bad.

You blew that?

Not so much that I blew it

as the company shut down

and took our jobs away.

Sweetheart, I promise I

can pay for all of this.

It's not about the money, Billy.

This is about you.

You talk a big game, but

never do anything about it!

You say we'll go to Spain... but

have I ever been to Barcelona?

Barthelona! And not

yet, but we're going.

What?

We are not going to Barthelona.

We discussed going

to Barthelona...

...but we are never going

to go to Barthelona.

Not with that

attitude we're not.

Do you even hear yourself? Yes.

I'm glad you said some of that...

we're in a relationship and

I'm glad we're committed to it.

You know how badly I

want to believe that?

Because I've been with you a long

time and nothing ever gets better.

Honey, you're...

You're such a great guy...

...but you always screw things

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