The Intervention Page #3

Rafe?

"Rafe," yeah.

I know. I don't know who told you that.

At least I'm not a racist.

The Harvard racism test

says that you are racist.

Oh, come on.

That is a bullshit test.

Very racist.

It's not

a bullshit test.

"How do you like

them apples?"

It was Matt Damon's line

from good will hunting,

which was the movie

where he went to Harvard.

Take a deep breath

and stop doing that.

Peter,

did you cook the chicken?

I did.

It's really salty.

You guys, I'm very sorry.

For Christ's sake,

i used a dash of salt.

You over-salted.

It's like your calling card.

Well, maybe you just have

an overly-sensitive palate.

Maybe you're

heavy-handed.

I was doing what i thought was

right, like your good friend Hitler.

I had an abnormal pap smear.

Oh, no.

Well, they said that, um, a

lot of people have it. It's hpv.

Oh. And you know what the doctor said to me?

That it's actually not really

anything to worry too much about

and just to keep an eye on it.

So, that made me feel better.

I think you should just

come out with it, you know?

Just get

straight to the point.

No, no,

we have to ease into this.

No. I think that

Sarah's right.

Jessie, you should

just look at them,

and you just say,

"Peter, Ruby,

f***ing get divorced."

That's not

exactly what I meant.

Why do

i have to say it?

Because she's your sister.

Yeah, but this is your plan.

Why don't you say it?

Look, why don't you

guys just both do it?

You mean, like,

play off each other?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I see

what you're saying.

I like it.

Let's do this.

All right.

Okay.

Treats for the...

Some treats.

Some drinks.

There you go.

There you go, guys.

- Super strong.

- Thank you.

- Cheers.

- Cheers! Cheers!

Drink. Everybody

take a drink and sip.

- Cheers.

- So...

Right. Yes. Here's...

Yeah.

We think it's time

to just get something out.

Just get it out in the open.

Jessie.

Yeah, um.

Yeah, because, uh, it's...

Um...

We talked and...

Okay, just...

Should I?

Yeah.

Ruby.

And Peter.

We think that

it's for the best

for both of you,

probably for everyone,

if...

If we play charades tonight.

I know that apples to apples

was discussed,

but I don't like that game.

I'll play charades. Sure.

It's a big announcement.

Thank you very much.

I love charades. It'll be fun. Cool.

What was that?

Well, I panicked.

And you weren't much help.

I was warming up.

Well, I got too warm.

And I think I might

be a little bit drunk.

And sometimes Ruby scares me

so much and I just freaked out.

Okay. Calm down,

calm down, it's fine.

Here, give me these.

We can do it tomorrow

and when you're not so full.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Annie?

Hmm?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Hmm.

No.

Just gonna...

No, no. Let's not, honey.

She is super full.

I am going to take...

Can I help?

Thanks, no.

You were too tasty, dinner!

Right! I'll see you guys downstairs, okay?

Matt, we're...

No!

He is nice.

See you downstairs.

Hey.

In case you need

to throw up more.

Do you think anyone noticed

that I was drunk?

I think they may have had

some idea, yeah.

Sh*t.

Can I have a hug?

Do y'know? Something that's

always just really hurt my feelings

is you never tried

to make out with me.

Not even one time.

Sorry.

Fine.

I love you.

Hey.

You know,

I've been with women before.

Jack's cool with it.

Cool.

We should get down there.

Sure. Mmm-hmm.

Charades.

I mean, i just don't think

that she should be drinking.

You should stay out of it.

It's... she's an adult.

Well, Matt, what do you think? I

mean, you're with her every day.

Well, I think it's

just an isolated thing,

and I wouldn't worry

about it.

I mean, she has like a glass of

wine and then before you know it,

she's like five Martinis in

and she's getting tackled by

the secret service for trying to

kiss Bill Clinton at a restaurant.

I just... I think that maybe

we should sit her down tomorrow.

No, no. No, no, no.

Well, she shouldn't drink ever,

like at all. She shouldn't...

Just stay out of it.

It is none of your business.

I am.

I'm concerned about her.

that people should deal with

their own personal problems,

on their own time,

in their own way,

and other people should

kind of butt out, right?

That's exactly

what I'm saying.

Very interesting.

Yes. Yes. Okay, fine. I'll drop it.

But listen,

if I see her drinking again,

I want us to say something.

Okay?

What is it? Is it a TV show? Is it a movie?

Give me... Give me a "sounds

like." What does it sound like?

Taking...

Time!

- Ah!

- What was it?

Uh, m-a-s-h?

I don't know what that is! Oh, that.

It was a television show. What

are those periods behind it?

It's a movie, too. It's a movie. From when?

A long time ago. Who cares?

All right,

you guys, you guys...

Ruby!

Ready?

Yes.

Okay, okay, okay.

Movie. One word.

Movie.

Psycho.

Big picture.

Jaws!

Yes. Yep.

Yes!

Okay, okay, okay.

Good. Film. Second word.

Hump.

Forrest Gump!

Two words.

First word. The...

Burned. The burned... the...

No, you can't do that.

Hot... the hot...

- The untouchables!

- Peter!

What? How is that...

That's insane.

A monster?

The bear.

The unbearable

lightness of being!

No way! No way!

Time's up! Time's up!

No, no!

You were so good.

How many did you get?

This is the team

to be on.

Good.

That was very

impressive. Hey!

Hey, could you

scoot over a little?

Annie, could you

scoot over a little?

Oh, baby.

Hmm?

Look, I can do this.

Oh, my god.

You don't think it's weird

we don't live together?

I don't think it's weird or not

weird. I think it just is what it is.

Mmm-hmm.

You know,

it's been three years.

You don't think it's

weird at all? Really?

I don't wanna talk about this

right now. Okay?

Well, you never

wanna talk about it.

Do you want me to

f*** you or not?

Yes.

You okay?

Yeah, sorry.

It's okay.

You think...

Is this okay?

Yeah.

Can I ask a question?

Yeah.

Okay. Ruby said uh, Lola's your type.

Your type's younger people?

That's what that means,

right?

You are my type.

Okay?

So how young

are we talking?

Good night.

Jessie. I can't have

a conversation with you?

Look, I still want you

to f*** me.

What are you doing?

Where's Sarah?

She's upstairs.

No, no, no!

Jessie, it's okay.

I know you want to.

Nobody has to know.

See? That wasn't so bad.

Morning.

Hey.

Beautiful morning.

It is.

How is everything?

Everything's fine.

I'm fine.

Good.

And you?

How are you doing?

Great.

You know, I really do want to

see you guys more.

How are you

and Sarah doing?

We're doing good.

Can't believe you haven't f***ed it up yet.

I know, I must be slipping.

Are you bored?

A little.

God, I miss having

the time to feel bored.

Do you have one?

No, I'll take one, though.

Morning.

Morning.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Morning. Morning.

Good morning! Who is ready for some kickball?

Oh, mimosas. Yes.

Can we just... There was

something i wanted to get out of...

What?

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