The January Man

Hey, cowboys!

Want some sugar?

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Should auld acquaintance

be forgot...

No. I would never forget you.

I'll never forget you.

Bullshit.

After you, my dear Alphonse.

Thank you.

Oh, dear!

Call me if you get blue.

I am blue.

Call me.

The phone will be ringing

by the time you get home.

Here I go.

Wait till she gets in, please.

Allison.

What?

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, honey.

Bye.

Gracie Mansion, please.

Fish!

They've multiplied.

Lord Jeffrey Amherst

was a soldier

Royal and true

And he summoned all the Indians

Into his sight

Oh, Amherst, dear

Oh, hello.

Ten-hut!

Line up!

Hello, Pepino.

Hello, little Lord Byron.

Come here and lay one on me.

Four, three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

Frank, wait a minute.

Forget it.

Just forget it.

That's easy to say.

You don't understand.

See, I don't care anymore.

I don't care

what makes sense anymore.

I don't give a rusty f***...

if they boot me down

the City Hall steps...

and send me back to the Bronx!

We gotta get this guy!

Everything that can be done

is being done.

My daughter was with her

last night.

It was my daughter, my child.

It could have been her.

This is not politics anymore.

Everything's politics!

The hell it is!

I can't even sleep.

Bullshit!

When you point your finger

at some guy...

and you say this is the guy

that could do the job...

ain't the flashbulbs going?

Don't you read it

in the papers the next day?

Get me your brother...

and get him now...

and get him before you go

to the ballet, Frank.

Get those hoses up here!

Come on. Move your ass!

Move it!

Get it on, Tony!

OK, Tony, turn it up!

In the windows!

Put it in the windows!

Turn it on!

Get that pressure up!

Turn it on, damn it!

- Chief?

- Yeah?

I'm looking for one of your men.

Who are you?

Franklin Starkey.

I'm Chief Sunday.

Who you want?

- Nick Starkey.

- He's in there.

Well, get him out here.

I have to talk to him.

It remains to be seen whether

or not he is coming out!

What the hell

are those guys doing?

Tell them to get the hoses up!

That window!

Over there!

Get jumping now!

Come on! Move it!

Move it, damn it!

Stay with it.

Hey! Advance that line!

Hi, there.

I'll take it from here, Nick.

I wonder if I could get

a cup of coffee.

Preferably espresso.

I'm not happy to see you, Frank.

You should be.

I've come to take you

away from all this...

and make you a big shot.

I never wanted

to be a big shot, Frank.

That's your thing.

You must be up sh*t's creek

to be here talking to me.

The mayor knows you're good

at this kind of thing.

You must be out of your mind

with amnesia...

to be here talking to me.

Now calm down, Nick.

I'm a fireman!

We're going to reinstate you.

I'm a fireman now!

We're going to take all the heat

we have to from the press.

I run into these f***ing

buildings when they're on fire!

You're gonna get a commendation

for what you did tonight.

Please, don't bother

on my account.

That was very heroic.

Go, Frank.

There's a lot between us.

None of it is good.

Please.

It's my career.

All right.

I'll come back.

Frank... on one condition.

What do you think of Maria?

- Who's Maria?

- The ballerina.

She doesn't trust

her partner enough.

Should she?

I don't think she has

any other choice.

Where's Frank?

I don't know.

He's late.

In that case, let me see you

through intermission.

Mrs. Starkey, where's

the commissioner tonight?

Here he is.

Excuse me.

Duty calls, and Christine goes.

I was beginning to think

you wouldn't make it.

I had to go...

I had to talk to Nick.

He's going to be reinstated

in the department...

He's going to be

the new special investigator.

How is he...

Did he agree?

You look flushed.

The dance was very stirring.

Usually you're bored.

Did he agree?

I can't believe it.

Why not?

After all, he is my brother.

That never stood in your way.

Are you siding with him?

Franklin, you should

know better than that.

What did you

have to promise him?

Hi, Ramon.

I'm thinking.

I am thinking.

All right.

Hi, Ed.

Will you get that animal,

please, and put it at her feet.

Don't smile, Olympia.

"Beware the jabberwock, my son!

"The jaws that bite,

the claws that clutch!"

Watch your hands, buddy!

- Like that? Stay.

- Very good.

Shut up!

Ed, why didn't you use

your apartment?

You've got the light.

Look, I'm making dinner tonight.

Can I borrow my table?

Sure.

Just languish there, darling.

Don't molest anything.

Ed... you want a job?

- What's a job?

- Work... for money.

- Money?

- Yeah. Do you remember money?

Yeah, I remember it.

What do you think?

It is irritating to me

that I need money.

- I shouldn't need it.

- I don't agree.

It's good

every once in a while...

to get roped into

somebody else's, you know...

What?

Problem.

For money?

Right.

I'm going to have

a press conference...

tomorrow morning at 10:00.

The governor, he's letting me

have his best speechwriter.

He's gonna write the statement.

The f***ing guy is a poet.

I'll have the hard-liners...

wringing their handkerchiefs

out before I'm through.

The prodigal son

with the right stuff...

forgive and forget.

"For everything

there is a season."

How do we face the terrifying

spectacle of Nick Starkey...

what he may do,

what he may not do.

Anyway, I wanna get going.

I want to start

working on it tonight.

I want to get

all the borough presidents.

I want them standing up there

with me shoulder-to-shoulder...

and if I can get that prick

with the scarlet cape...

the cardinal, to stand up,

I'm gonna get him up there, too.

And, you, you're going

to be to my right.

Now, what I want to do...

I want it to look like

the city is united...

in bringing Nick Starkey back.

I don't want it

to look like his brother's...

bringing him clean underwear

or something like that.

I'll take care of

all the questions.

No matter how rough they get,

I'll be as pious as hell.

And when it's over...

take a break,

let them have a shot at you.

And then give them

some hard talk back...

two or three minutes,

but be conservative.

Very, very conservative.

And if you blow,

blow with dignity.

I'm going to be dog meat

after this.

No, you're not.

If he comes out of this

looking great...

I'm an a**hole for firing him.

If he blows it, I'm a schmuck

for bringing him back.

If he blows it,

we're all unemployed.

And if he gets the guy,

we're all heroes.

That's the news.

It's like

Elizabeth Taylor says...

"There is no deodorant

like success."

What is it?

Captain Alcoa is here.

Sh*t.

He heard.

OK. Send him in.

I won't do it!

Do what?

Hey, don't bullshit me

besides screwing me.

We're all having a bad day,

Alcoa.

Nobody needs your volume.

Nick Starkey is no policeman!

Well, his record

shows otherwise.

He don't belong

in the department.

That's for me to say!

He's like a...

he's a f***ing beatnik!

He's got a beatnik mentality.

Maybe that's what we need,

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