The Jerk Page #7

Synopsis: Navin is an idiot. He grew up in Mississippi as adopted son of a black family but on his 18th birthday he feels he wants to discover the rest of the world and sets out to St. Louis. There everyone exploits his naivety, but then a simple invention brings him a fortune.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Carl Reiner
Production: Universal Pictures
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
7.2
Metacritic:
61
Rotten Tomatoes:
85%
R
Year:
1979
94 min
857 Views


I don't need anything!.

Except this.

This ashtray.

That's the only thing l need is this!.

I don't need this or this!.

Just this ashtray!.

And this paddle game.

The ashtray and the paddle game

and that's all l need.

And this remote control.

The ashtray, the paddle game

and the remote control. That's all l need.

And these matches.

The ashtray, these matches

the remote control and the paddle ball.

And this lamp.

The ashtray...

...this paddle game, the remote control...

...and the lamp, and that's all l need.

And that's all l need, too!.

I don't need one other thing!.

Not one. I need this.

The paddle game, the chair...

...the remote control

and the matches, for sure.

What are you looking at?

What do you think l am,

some kind of a jerk or something?

And this.

That's all l need.

Except the ashtray,

the remote control, the paddle game...

...this magazine and the chair.

I don't need one other thing.

Except my dog.

Well, l don't need my dog.

So, that's it.

It's an old story,

one you've probably heard before.

But l never thought it would happen to me.

Any of you bums

ever heard of Navin R. Johnson?

I've heard of him.

Born in Mississippi?

The inventor of the Opti-Grab?

I was just telling these guys!.

Son!.

Daddy!.

Navin.

-Mama!.

-My baby!.

I knew we'd find you!.

-Taj!.

-Don't kiss me!.

I called them the night you left.

How'd you find me?

I don't know.

This is the first place we looked.

We're taking you home

and you're living with us.

Turns out dad's a financial genius.

All l did was take the money

you sent home...

...and embarked on a periodic investment

in a no-load mutual fund.

He leveraged his ass

deep into soy beans and cocoa futures.

Right on.

I picked out this thermos for you.

-I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty.

-Dirt doesn't bother me.

But the smell does.

Son, you'd better get

in the back with the dog...

...until we can get you hosed down.

-I love you, Navin!.

-I love you, too!.

Somebody open a window!.

Open all the windows.

I was so glad to be going home.

I remembered the days

when l sang and danced...

...with my family

on the porch ofthe old house.

But things change,

and with all the additions to the family...

...we had to tear down the old house,

even though we loved it.

But we built us a bigger one.

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Me and my buddy

-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton

-"Well, me and my buddy

-"Gonna pick a bale a day

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Gonna get on your knees

-"And pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna get on your knees

-"And pick a bale a day

-"Gonna move all around

-"And pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna move all around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Want a barebacked man to

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Want a barebacked man to

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"You're gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"You're gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

"Lordy pick a bale of cotton

"Lordy pick a bale a day

-"Well, me and my wife

-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton

-"Well, me and my wife

-"Gonna pick a bale a day

-"Take it!.

-"Pick a bale of cotton

"Pick a bale a day"

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Steve Martin

Stephen Glenn Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, playwright, author, and musician. Martin came to public notice in the 1960s as a writer for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and later as a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. In the 1970s, Martin performed his offbeat, absurdist comedy routines before packed houses on national tours. Since the 1980s, having branched away from comedy, Martin has become a successful actor, as well as an author, playwright, pianist, and banjo player, eventually earning him an Emmy, Grammy, and American Comedy awards, among other honors. In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Martin at sixth place in a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comics. He was awarded an Honorary Academy Award at the Academy's 5th Annual Governors Awards in 2013.While he has played banjo since an early age, and included music in his comedy routines from the beginning of his professional career, he has increasingly dedicated his career to music since the 2000s, acting less and spending much of his professional life playing banjo, recording, and touring with various bluegrass acts, including Earl Scruggs, with whom he won a Grammy for Best Country Instrumental Performance in 2002. He released his first solo music album, The Crow: New Songs for the 5-String Banjo, in 2009, for which he won the Grammy Award for Best Bluegrass Album. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Jerk" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_jerk_11238>.

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