The Joneses Page #5

I'm an old friend of Steve's.

My name is Henry.

Cerrilla?

Where you been?

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Excuse me,

but I-I think you're

sitting in my wife's seat.

Wife? his guy

was the biggest stud

in Scottsdale, Arizona.

- Excuse me, this is my seat.

- Oh, you're serious?

Oh, my goodness.

I-I- This is-

You finally tamed

the savage beast, huh?

Unbelievable. Come here.

- l'm sorry.

- I am so happy for you.

You know, l, uh-

I'm Henry. I'm an old

friend of Steve's.

l wish that I knew you,

but I think you've got me

mistaken with somebody else.

l think you've made a mistake.

I don't think-

Are you-

- l'm not that guy.

- [ Henry ] What?

Could you please

come with me, sir?

A breath of fresh air.

- l don't need air.

- [ Steve ] Walk this way.

What are you talking about?

I don't get it.

That's not cool, dude.

l am terribly, terribly sorry.

- Please enjoy your dinner.

- Whoa.

That was odd.

That was weird.

That is like the third time

since we've been here...

that somebody's mistaken you

for this Steve Cer-

as it been three times?

Yes.

- l get mistaken

for someone a lot, but-

- Really?

- it's usually iger Woods.

- [ Laughing ]

Anyway-

[ Kate ] Do you have some kind

of secret life going on?

Baby, you bet l do.

[ Laughing ]

- To secret lives.

- To secret lives.

[ Man ]

Cheers.

[ Mouths Words ]

You look like

you could use a drink.

Thank you.

l think the kids

must be working late.

You know, Jenn,

l- l don't know

if she's taking my advice,

but I- l actually think that

she's starting to get it.

[ Jenn And Alex Moaning ]

[ Alex ]

Oh, you smell great.

It's L'Artisan.

Oh, yes.

You Iike that, baby?

Here you go,

super-stud of Scottsdale.

Well, it's not as big

of an achievement as it sounds.

lt was more of

a retirement community.

You know the great thing

about this job?

What?

You get to be

whoever you want to be.

Yeah? But l'm not

Steve Jones, you know.

l'm a single, 45-year-old,

failed golf pro,

car salesman,

pretending

to be someone I'm not.

l know who you are.

[ Chuckles ]

Stop.

What?

We can't.

Why not?

This part is pretend.

ls it?

lt has to be.

Good night.

What? Larry, what?

Hey, hey, Steve.

Look at you.

[ Chuckles ]

You're kidding.

That is awesome.

I thought I'd go with the red.

Just a little bit

hotter than the gray,

what do you think?

I'm jealous.

[ Chuckling ]

You look different.

[ Sighs ]

You dog.

Oh, yes.

Holler at a player, yo.

Steady stream of gifts.

Sweet.

I'm taking care

of the luxuries.

Okay, that's great.

I got something for you too.

You didn't have to do that.

It's top of the line.

Laser guide.

No, l can't- l can't take that.

No, seriously, Steve.

l insist. l really want to

thank you for helping me out.

What are friends for, right?

Enjoy it.

Well, thank you.

You bet. ake care.

Say hi to that

wife of yours.

All right.

[ Kate On Video ] Do you mind

just looking into the camera

and stating your name?

[ Steve On Video ]

Steve Cerrilla.

So let me ask you.

TelI me about yourself.

I- You really came very,

uh, highly recommended,

and your resume

is very impressive.

Thank you.

So you would be the-

the one who was, uh,

playing the role with me.

[ Kate ]

Um, yes, I would.

Have you ever

worked for a woman?

Well, it's something

I've thought about

a lot recentIy.

Because I have never

been married-

[ Kate On Video ] I saw that.

[ Steve ]

Either real or imaginary.

In all seriousness,

I've-I've thought...

what it might be like

to meet a woman...

who l would be

a better person for.

hat just hasn't happened, so-

Hey, you know,

I got an idea.

Why don't we

see a movie today?

l don't get it.

What would we sell there?

Nothing, it's just,

you know, for fun.

Movie. Fun.

Oh.

Yeah, well, l'm busy.

Sorry, dude.

lt's their day off.

Can l ask you a question?

Sure.

What were your other

1 2 husbands like?

There weren't 1 2.

Okay, 1 0. Whatever.

Please, there were six.

Six? Okay, Henry VIll.

What were they like?

- l don't know.

- You don't know?

You spend a year with a guy,

pretending to be husband

and wife and you don't

get to know him at all?

Well, you know,

you've seen one Mr. Jones,

you've seen 'em all.

[ Chuckles ]

All right.

You can laugh.

All right, well,

l'm gonna... take my coffee

down to the basement, all right?

See you later.

Bye.

Have a nice day off, okay?

[ Chuckling ]

[ KC ]

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[ Steve ] Merry Christmas.

As you can see, these are

the products our clients

are pushing for the holidays.

And it's up to you

to make sure...

they're under

every tree in town-

Nice.

Well, l can't, uh-

l can't say that

I'm hating this.

- l'm glad that you like it.

- You have excellent taste.

- hank you.

- Is this for me?

- [ Steve Whistles ]

- [ KC ] No. They're for

your girlfriend, Naomi.

She'll be selling

to her little counter-culture

friends without even knowing it.

If she's gonna be with you,

she's gonna need some styIe.

Do l look like Elton John?

Jenn.

Kate tells me you don't

have a boyfriend yet,

which is unusual for you, no?

[ Sighs ]

It would be nice

if you could have...

a romantic interest

by Christmas, huh?

Working on it.

his has been

in the stores 1 0 days.

"Rudy's Rum Punch."

Mmm, 1 7% alcohol. Ow!

Not for you.

- A bit lowbrow,

don't you think?

- It's up to you to change that.

Uh, there's one other

thing I almost forgot.

Steve, wanna come outside?

[ Mick ]

Enjoy.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ KC ]

The all new Audi R8.

[ Steve ] Yeah?

lt's for you. I thought

you deserve a little bonus.

Your numbers have shown

tremendous improvement.

Keep it up

and this cell

could make icon status.

Go on. l'll bet

you look great in it.

[ Sniffs, Sighs ]

Whoo.

Hey, Mick. Check it out.

- [ Scoffs ]

- Get in.

ls something

bothering you?

l don't know.

You know, if, uh-

if you want to talk

about something,

anything, you know,

you can always just,

you know, talk

to your fake mother,

or you can talk to me.

his whole act,

it just- it gets to me.

Who's acting?

l love this car.

[ Chuckles ]

That's not what l meant.

Just think of it this way.

We're making a match...

between great products

and the people that want them.

[ Car Approaching ]

It's a service.

Hey, Larry.

[ Hip-hop On Car Stereo ]

We at it again

Everybody on the dance floor

Wow.

We at it again

Lookin' good, Steve.

You too, player.

We at it again

Everybody

on the dance floor

l think you just

ruined his day.

Oh, sweet.

[ Recorded Applause ]

Sweet, indeed.

l just wanted to remind you

that we have dinner

reservations at 8:00.

Oh, good.

That sounds good.

Want to hit a few?

Golf? No.

Yeah, come on.

I'll teach you.

hat's what l did before

the job at the dealership-

I taught golf.

ang on to that.

You're gonna hit some

golf balls. Have you

ever done it before?

No. Uh-

Okay. Perfect.

Your knees bend in

a little bit. Weight on

the inside of your feet.

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