The Kids Are Alright Page #3

write a ten-minute song,

write a ten-minute story

made up of two-minutes-50 songs,"

which I did.

And that was the Mini Opera,

it was called.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

dig The Who.

2, 3.

Here comes Ivor

the dirty old city engine driver

to make you feel all right.

What we have to do is we have to--

we have to decide whether or not

we are going to remain

this circus act, right?

Or whether we're going to,

in other words,

doing what everybody knows we can do

and what we know we can do.

Right? Until the band eventually

turns into a cabaret act,

- which is inevitable.

- No. That's ridiculous to say that.

I mean...

Well, let's just...

Okay, Keith, let's go.

Bragging and drums.

I've heard a lot about you

and the rest of the group

taking drugs, Pete.

Does this mean

you're usually blocked up

when you're actually on stage?

No, but it means we're blocked up

all the time, you know.

Well, kid, we've heard you drink a lot,

but that's beside the point.

If you could tell us, you know,

how did you happen to join The Who

and if in fact that's what they

were called when you joined.

Well, I've just been sitting in

for the past 15 years.

You know, they never actually told me

that I was part of the band.

I knew it by instinct.

Keith Moon rolled up one day

all ginger all over--

ginger shoes,

ginger corduroy trousers, ginger jacket,

and his hair dyed ginger,

holding a glass of brown ale.

So this complete ginger sort of vision

came up and said,

"I can play better than him."

And this horrible impudent

with his hair down like this.

And... got up on the drummer's

drum kit

and practically smashed it to pieces.

And we thought

this is the man for us.

Hi. I'm Ralph Baines speaking to you

for the Hewitt House Hotels,

the rock stars' home away from home.

Don't be alarmed

I think I know what's going on.

Let's get some information across

before the fun breaks loose again.

What were you before you kicked

off with as a group

He was almost as interesting as...

Inland revenue income tax.

I thought you said land rover.

I guess it's some time in the back.

Inland revenue.

So what what did you do?

Me?

All sort of things.

Like what?

Be more specific. He wants...

I want one thing that you did

before you joined as a group.

I mean, were you

digging a garden or what?

He was born in a bunk.

I was a sheet metal worker

Sheet metal worker'?

Yeah, I was a rust repairer.

I was a rust repairer

and full-time survivor.

I survived all the major earthquakes.

And the Titanic

and several air crashes.

I think you'll have to give me

a few lessons in survival

because if I'm gonna stay and survive

this interview, I'll need a few lessons.

Well, there is more brandy--

I mean lemonade.

That's right.

And you were doing what?

Oh, we didn't work.

Arty-farty he was.

You leave me out of this.

We were talking about me.

Hey, get out! Oh, no!

Oh, no, Keith.

It's a ripper.

That's what he was doing,

developing his muscles.

Keith, leave me alone.

- Well, they have to ask you this.

- I know.

You know, what do you think

about Pete?

I love the man.

He's one of my dearest friends.

But I couldn't say that about Ringo.

If Pete said "What do you think

about Ringo?"

"You know, we have our moments,

and when we get together,

there are certain times that you just...

Something happens,

and I really don't know what it is."

- But there's that magic there.

- It's probably we're drunk

It could be that.

Oh, not drunk, teeny-boppers.

No, absolutely not, you Don Henry fans.

Keith and Henry had a lot of medicine

- Absolutely.

- You know, just a lot of medicine

We're getting on.

We're getting on now,

and we need our medicine, so...

Let's see the age of this suit.

When I'm on the stage...

Let me try and explain.

When I'm on the stage,

I'm not in control of myself at all.

I don't even know who I am

You know,

I'm not this rational person

that can sit here now and talk to you.

If you walked on the stage

with a microphone

in the middle of a concert,

I'd probably come close to killing you.

I have come close to killing people

who have walked on stage.

Abbie Hoffman

walked on the stage at Woodstock,

and I nearly killed him with my guitar.

A cameraman walked on the stage.

A policeman came on

when the bloody building

at the Fillmore In New York

was burning down,

and I kicked him in the balls

and sent him off

because I...you know,

I'm just not there, really.

It's not like being possessed.

It's just I do my job,

and I know I have to get

into a certain state of mind to do it.

We'd realized the end of our tether.

We'd reached it. We'd come upon

the point when the...

nose bleeds and all that

were no good.

We can't go on doing that.

It's no good.

It's beyond the beyond.

Bob. Barbara.

Barbara Ann?

Well, that's...

We did that bit, though.

Does it come in twice?

Look what happened?

I mean, one main ambition now

was to get back on the road

with the horrible Who,

the worst rock and roll group

in the world.

- The worst?

- Yes.

You couldn't pick

four more horrible geezers

that make more, like, the worst noise

that you've ever heard in your life.

You want one of the reasons

for having music and things

fantastically loud

is because you get so many people

that turn deaf ears to what you do.

You know what I mean?

They just won't listen to what you do,

and it doesn't matter

how good or bad it is.

In fact, The bigger it is, normally,

the more they'll close their ears to it.

And so the louder you got to work,

you know.

Volume is fantastic thing.

Power and volume and power and volume.

When I went to get my ears tested,

I thought I was really encouraged,

apart from the fact

you said I have terrible ears.

He said Bill said,

"What advice would you give him?

Would you tell him to stop playing

entirely and leave the group?"

Throw his career out the window.

Become a pauper, starve.

Would you tell him that?

"Well, actually, no, but I would

advise him to learn to lip read."

It's true. That's what he said.

Get off.

Have all of you made enough money

to stop work this afternoon, tonight?

Well, I'm certain you'd like that.

Yes, I have.

You have? Why don't you stop, then?

He's got to support me

and the rest of the boys.

You mean you've made more money

than they have?

Well, I write all the songs.

No, I write the songs.

So if you write songs,

you get a bit on the side.

You see, the thing is, as songwriter,

I do have something, you know...

- Going for you.

- Going for me.

We go for him.

Scab.

Carry on, Russell.

I'm transfixed by John.

I don't know why I'm here.

In "My Generation," you wrote

"I hope I die before I get old."

- Do you in fact mean this?

- Yes

Guitar up here,

including big-mouthed little kid

who wants to come

and f***ing take it off me.

Rock and roll has got no future.

It don't matter.

We became rich

a lot later than I expected.

Now I'm too old to enjoy my money.

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