The Killing of John Lennon Page #2

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I'm Holden Caulfield.

He doesn't fit anywhere,

and I don't.

- Don't you even read books?

- I read books.

No, not magazines and travel brochures

and books about Japan, but real books -

real books

with emotions and real people.

Yes, I do, actually. And who says

Japan doesn't have real people?

Well, Japan...

You know what I mean.

That's... You need to understand The

Catcher. You need to understand Holden.

If you understand Holden...

How are you gonna understand me?

Real books. I'm talking about

art and literature and, you know...

- things that people read.

- [Gloria] Don't be so arrogant.

[Mark] Don't you even feel sorry for him?

I was identifying with a 16-year-old boy

in a book in New York City,

and here I am, a 25-year-old man in Hawaii

who is married.

- Hi.

- [mother] Hi.

I'm Holden Caulfield.

He doesn't fit anywhere, and I don't.

- Hi. Take a deep breath.

- I know. Sometimes I get aggravated.

OK. It's all right. It's OK.

[Mark] It was a statement.

"Here is my identity. "

"Here is where my pain is. "

[children laugh and play]

"l keep picturing all these little kids

playing some game

in this big field of rye and all. "

"Thousands of little kids,

and nobody's around -

nobody big, I mean - except me. "

"And I'm standing

at the edge of this crazy cliff. "

"What I have to do,

I have to catch everybody

if they start to go over the cliff - I mean

if they don't look where they're going

I have to come out from somewhere

and catch them. "

"That's all I'll do all day. "

"I'd just stand there

and be the catcher in the rye and all. "

"l know it's crazy, but that's

the only thing I'd really like to be. "

"l know it's crazy. "

Chapter 22.

Page 173.

Then I found another book.

Just as Holden Caulfield

had bled through the ink of "Catcher",

John Lennon

now entered my mind.

There was John Lennon

on the cover.

He was on Liberty lsland,

where the statue of Liberty is.

He was at the base of the Statue of Liberty

with his glasses and cap,

with the scarf around his neck,

having his photograph taken.

I looked at the pictures

of John Lennon

on the gabled roof

of the Dakota building in New York.

Those photographs of him on the roof

entered my mind

and they took on

a life of their own.

And at some point,

after looking at those pictures,

I became enraged at him.

Something inside me just broke.

The great John Lennon,

who'd told us to imagine no possessions,

and there he was with millions of dollars,

and yachts and farms

and country estates,

Iaughing at people like me

who believed all the lies

and bought all the records.

It reeked of phoneyness.

Confirmation.

As soon as I saw that picture,

I knew I was going to kill him.

It was like

I had been handed something.

A solution.

For the first time in years,

all my thoughts were synchronised.

It's what Holden

had fantasised about in the book -

killing the big fat guy

in the hotel,

the pimp, the phoney.

- All done for the morning, sir?

- All through.

- Yeah? Pretty rough night?

- Oh, you know. The usual.

[man] Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, you have yourself

a good morning.

- You too.

- Bye.

[Mark] I'd found my identity,

but I had lost my life.

Mark!

Mark! Mark!

[Mark] I'd sit up all night

and play Beatles records,

speeding them up,

slowing them down,

interjecting my own words.

I would strip naked,

gritting my teeth

and summoning the devil

and wild things in my mind.

I was sending out telegrams

to Satan.

"Give me the opportunity

to kill John Lennon. "

I'm 25 years old.

I've made a decision.

My decision

is I'm gonna go travel.

You're going to abandon

your wife and your mother

and go thousands of miles away,

and you wanna start with New York City?

- It's always about you.

- It's not about me. This is about you.

You're the one

who married a little helpless girl,

and now you're gonna go away

and leave her - leave her under my care.

Gloria is not under your care and Gloria

is not helpless. And neither are you.

So you take care of you

and Gloria will be fine on her own,

and I'll be back

before you know it.

- I'm not buying it.

- Well, you don't have to buy it.

I know when you are lying to me.

Now, if there is a real reason

why you feel the need

to go back to New York City,

I want you to tell it to me

right now.

[laughs]

[clears throat]

My decision

is I'm gonna go travel.

- I don't understand the whole thing. I...

- You don't have to understand!

OK? I am just doing

what I want to do.

You don't need to understand

everything that I do.

"The phoney must die",

says "The Catcher in the Rye".

"The phoney must die",

says "The Catcher in the Rye".

- Can I help?

- I need something for protection at home.

- OK. Anything in mind?

- What would you suggest?

Well, if you get a.22 and a burglar

comes in, he's just gonna laugh at you.

Handy little gun, it's fast,

but don't do much damage.

But if you get a.38,

nobody's gonna laugh at you.

A fine, solid gun.

Blue steel, snub nose,

otherwise the same

as a police service revolver.

Now, that will stop anything that moves

and it's handy, flexible,

it's lightweight,

reliable.

You know, some of these guns

are like toys, but a Smith & Wesson,

you can hit somebody over the head

with it and it'll still come back dead on.

You can't beat quality.

Are you interested in an automatic?

How much?

With specialised grips,

OK. I'll take it.

Hi. I'd like a ticket to New York.

One-way.

So long as you fill out a form and

the firearm and ammunition are separate.

- And where do I get that form?

- At the check-in.

But the gun has to be in your luggage.

You can't take it on board.

- And that's it?

- That's it.

- Thank you very much.

- Have a good flight.

[aeroplane engine]

[Mark] There's a smell in New York.

It's a scary smell and a cold smell

and I'm frightened,

frightened of someone

finding out my secret.

[driver] Gonna be in town long?

You ever been to the city?

Where are you from, bud?

They don't have traffic like this

on main street where you live, huh?

Have you stopped

to see Central Park yet?

It's great this time of the year.

A lot of snow.

[Mark] Take me where the freaks are.

[driver] You are where the freaks are.

New York is all freaks.

You're in Times Square.

This is about as big as a freak section

as you're gonna get.

Have you ever seen

John Lennon?

Yeah. He's around.

Seen him in town.

He lives up ahead here.

Matter of fact,

he lives up by 72nd.

Oh, yeah.

The Dakota, right?

Right up... That's right.

You knew that, huh?

It's right up near 72nd.

We'll be passing it in a minute.

He's kind of a phoney, isn't he?

That all depends.

On what?

On his music

or his personality.

Maybe a little of both.

I guess you could say that.

You don't like music?

I did once.

What happened?

I found something else.

Yeah, that happens, you know?

- How much did you say it was?

- 15.

- Here's 20.

- Happy holidays.

[Mark] I checked into

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