The Kreutzer Sonata

1

I'd like an ambulance, please.

5-2-3-3...

Arden Drive.

Yeah.

Thanks.

I think I hardly need

to tell you that I was very vain.

In a rich man's life,

our type leads.

If a man's not vain, he doesn't

have much to five for.

So I went out of my Way to make

absolutely sure that the

benefit was organized with the

maximum possible good taste.

Garlic and dill.

Mmm!

Always, you always do

a remarkable job.

Well, thank you.

{personally supervised

the catering.

Not too much,

but we want enough.

No rubber chicken served here.

{issued ah' the invitations myself

Thank you very much for coming,

it means a lot, this charity.

The most important thing that we

can get out of today is understanding

that a little bit goes such a long way

around the world...

The music began fairly early.

Oh, how Well I remember

all the details of that evening.

I remember how he produced his violin,

the Way he opened the case,

tossed a cloth aside and took his

cheap violin out like it was a Strad.

I remember the Way my Wife

sat down at the piano,

trying to appear indifferent...

when I could tell she was

extremely nervous,

scared she was gonna f*** it up.

They played Beethoven's "Kreutzer Sonata"

You know it.

The first movement?

I hate that f***ing sonata.

In fact, I hate classical music.

I mean, What's it about?

What? What's it for?

You can't dance to it.

You can't hum the tune.

What am I supposed to do,

sit there like some dummy?

Doing What?

Waiting for the end so that

I can applaud politely?

I've read that music carries

you directly into the state

of consciousness that was

experienced by the composer.

How does anyone know what

the f*** was on Beethoven's mind

when he Wrote this?

I don't.

Do you?

You know the Way it happens

sometimes?

It's like an electric shock

goes through you

and you Wake up.

I Woke up like that in a hotel room

in San Francisco...

my head full of thoughts about her,

about my sexual desire for her...

about him, the violinist...

and the two of them f***ing.

Hello?

Hi, Ginger, it's Edgar.

Is she back yet?

No, um...

she called, she'll be back

around 11:
15.

Oh.

All right, I'll talk to you

tomorrow, thanks.

I shuddered with rage and horror.

Stay down!

Then I began to

reason with myself

{had no reason to think that

Nothing's going on.

Nothing's been going on...

I mean, she's my wife?

The mother of my children.

This is very L.A.

It's a bubbly moment...

It's a breast fully moment.

Yeah, it's not last summer,

it's many summers ago.

And what else?

And it seems to be rather...

- Fun!

- Fun.

And open.

Yeah, blowing.

What do you know

about art anyway?

Not a lot.

What do you know? Do you know

anything about big fish?

Do I? No...

I like yours, you like mine...

That's the way it works.

What are you drinking?

Oh, you want,

you want a little sip of mine?

Yeah, I'll have yours.

It's free...the drink

is freezing my hand off.

The drink is free?

Free-Zing.

I'm free!

Are you from L.A.?

I am, I've lived here

practically all my life.

Shall I hold it for you?

I'm just worried about

your hands getting cold.

You're gonna hold it for me?

- Are your hands getting cold?

- No.

See? Feel how cold mine are.

Your hands are...

No!

Um, I'm not-

you didn't ask me...

No, I didn't!

But I'm not from here.

Where are you from?

I am from New York.

And I don't really like L.A. that much,

but I have to tell you,

it was definitely the right

career move for me to come here,

because, um, you know, it's

a really difficult business that I'm in.

I'm a classical pianist

and there really aren't

that many places to get jobs

and L.A., I think,

is really on the rise.

Wonderful-I would love

to hear you play.

I bet you would.

And I would really like to play for you.

Well, are you with anybody now?

I am, yeah.

Where is he?

I don't know where he is.

Not here.

Presently.

And not comfortable with me

probably being here either...

So maybe I should go inside.

In fact, I think I'm gonna

go get a drink.

Oh hi, honey.

Um, come on in.

I was looking for you.

Really.

I was looking for you.

Yeah, you were...

I'll take care of you.

Why are you acting surprised?

Why are you acting surprised?

What's going on?

Nothing, nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Mmm, thank you.

Absolutely.

What kind of counseling?

- Marriage.

- Marriage.

Kinsey's not dating anybody.

Who are you telling that to?

I'm not telling that to you.

I'm saying that to Edgar because

I had a conversation with him.

Edgar, Kinsey's not dating...

No, I wanna know what

the conversation was, really.

About alter egos.

It was nothing.

God, I'm sorry.

I almost threw up my food!

Is he some kind

of a split personality?

This is awful now because I've

backed myself into a corner!

And I remember what you said,

god damn it!

No, he was just saying that secrets

are very hard to maintain...

and that they can sometimes

work in your best interest.

That trust is an imposition.

Something that we attach

all this importance to

when sometimes somebody fails

and in actual fact, they haven't.

It's just your idea of them.

There's a trust... If you don't

have trust, I don't understand...

But, but I think Edgar has

an interesting point...

I mean, define that trust.

Define the trust?

You trust that you love each other,

you trust that you

want to stay together,

you trust that each other's

the most important

thing in each other's

life, I think.

Yeah, but I bet you any,

any monogamous couple

in any relationship,

if they were given

the right circumstance,

the right moment, the right timing,

the right chemistry with someone else,

they would stray.

This is not about us.

I'm just saying, in general...

Would you like some more wine?

Kinsey's gonna drop me off.

Oh, ..

But you know, just, uh...

I love you, just, I'll see you at home.

I drove home positively

beside myself with enthusiasm,

convinced that she was

the acme of perfection.

What sold me?

The exquisite piano playing.

Surely someone so talented

had to have a deep and kind soul.

There and then, I first

Wanted her to be my Wife.

But it was my first kiss.

It was in Ireland and she...

she was a girl that was

introduced to me by a friend

called Jerry Lynch.

But the thing was that she'd

been observing me

and I'd actually never seen her.

This is what he asked me to do:

He said go in the middle

of a field, lie down,

cover YOU F eyes

and wait.

So I waited, waited, waited...

and then I felt hair

pour over my face...

Ohh...

- and then breath grazed my cheek...

- And lips...

against my face.

And I was so overcome by the moment

that I actually never opened my eyes.

Ohh...

and I never saw her.

Oh...

that is so sweet.

Have you ever been married?

I have, yeah.

Yeah?

Once before.

How is that?

It was wonderful in its own way,

and then it slowly but surely fizzled.

Did you ever cheat on your wife?

Um...

Your lip just quivered!

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