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The Ladykillers Page #10
There is a knock at the door.
MRS. MUNSON
Huh? Excuse me.
I/E. MUNSON HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
Mrs. Munson swings the door open to Sheriff Wyner. His squad
car is parked at the curb.
MRS. MUNSON
Sheriff Wyner, how you doin'...
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The Professor's eyes widen with concern as he hears the
voices, off:
SHERIFF (O.S.)
Evenin', Miz Munson, I just came
by...
I/E. MUNSON HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
The sheriff is tipping his hat and already backing away,
trying to make his visit brief:
SHERIFF:
...to let you know I had a word with
WeeMack. He says he gonna comply
with your request, keep the music
down and neighborly.
MRS. MUNSON
Mm-hm.
He calls from the bottom of the stoop:
SHERIFF:
So you have a pleasant evening now,
and just let us know--
MRS. MUNSON
Hang on there, Sheriff, somebody I
want you to meet.
SHERIFF:
Ma'am, I'm a little pressed for time--
MRS. MUNSON
Why, you chasin' a gang of bank
robbers? Get on in here say hello.
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The Voices approach:
MRS. MUNSON
...We was just havin' tea, talkin'
about Othar--
The two enter and Mrs. Munson stops short, looking.
The living room is empty. Even the Professor's teacup is
gone.
MRS. MUNSON
...Hm... Bussed his own dishes. You
can always tell a gentleman.
The sheriff, hat in hand, gazes about.
SHERIFF:
Someone was here, ma'am?
MRS. MUNSON
Mm-hm, with me'n Othar.
Once again, he tries to excuse himself:
SHERIFF:
Well, maybe I'll catch him next
time...
MRS. MUNSON
Come on up to his room.
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - DORR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The door opens and the two look in.
The neatly made bed next to the small, barren dresser.
MRS. MUNSON
Mm, he's neat.
SHERIFF:
Very neat.
MRS. MUNSON
Probably went down to the cellar to
play with his friends.
She turns.
SHERIFF:
Ma'am, I really have to...
Top-teased by a dust ruffle in the foreground, we see Mrs.
Munson's heavy orthopedic shoes turning to pass Sheriff
REVERSE:
shows Dorr, cheek pressed to the floor, his teacup and saucer
under the bed with him.
SHERIFF:
...be gettin' back...
Mrs. Munson is about to go out the door but notices something:
A corner of the Professor's cape, protruding from under the
end of the bed.
MRS. MUNSON
What the...
BACK TO DORR:
fearfully watching.
HIS POV:
The heavy orthopedic shoes approach, and then, with loud Mr.
Mogul sounds of effort, Mrs. Munson's hands and knees hit
the floor.
Her head drops in to view to peer in, her own cheek against
the floorboards.
MRS. MUNSON
...What the... Why, Professor!
We see the Sheriff watching and his HIGH POV of Mrs. Munson's
enormous ass.
MRS. MUNSON
...What you doin' havin' tea down
there?!
Dorr makes silent hand waves to disavow his own presence.
Mrs. Munson roars with laughter.
With difficulty she pushes herself back upright, still
laughing.
MRS. MUNSON
...Land of Goshen! Get out from under
there!
SHERIFF:
Miz Munson, my pager just went off...
MRS. MUNSON
Why of all the...
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - STAIRCASE/FOYER - NIGHT
The Sheriff is already backing down the stairs:
SHERIFF:
'Fraid I gotta respond...
He opens the front door and calls up:
SHERIFF:
...I'll try to meet your friend some
other time.
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - DORR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dorr shimmies out from under the bed.
DORR:
Well that was very... refreshing...
As you know...
He gets to his feet, slaps dust from the front of his pants.
DORR:
...we academics are inordinately
fond of wedgin' ourselves into
confined spaces. At Yale the students
will see how many of their number
they can enclose in a telephone booth;
Harvard, a broom closet.
MRS. MUNSON
Why I never!
DORR:
There was the goldfish-swallowin'
craze, of course, a different but
related phenomenon... Ahem... I hope
I didn't spill any tea...
INT. CASINO - GUDGE'S OFFICE - DAY
GUDGE (O.S.)
What the hell is this?
WIDER:
shows Gawain in Mr. Gudge's office as Gudge, behind the desk,
looks at the gift-wrapped box.
GAWAIN:
It's just my way of sayin', well,
goddamnit, I don't know what it's
like walkin' in your shoes, bein'
all tightass and all, and you don't
know what it's like to walk in my
shoes, but, well...
Gudge is opening a card that was inside the box. Its floral
front says in gold script, "I'm Sorry... If I hurt your
feelings... "
GAWAIN:
...You know, there's the custodian,
and then there's the man inside the
custodian, y'understand what I'm
sayin'...
Gudge opens the card. Inside is a hundred-dollar bill.
GAWAIN:
...and that man has needs, dig, and
I guess those needs, Mr. Gudge, which
they usually involve women with big
asses, well those motherfuckin' needs
sometimes well up over the custodian
like the motherfuckin' Johnstown
Flood. But my point is it ain't gonna
happen again. Not if it's humanly
possible...
Gudge reads the card, flips it over to look at its back.
GUDGE:
Hmm...
GAWAIN:
But Jesus, if you'd seen the ass on
that girl, Mr. Gudge, you'd a wanted
her sitting on your face too.
GUDGE:
Well, we're all human.
GAWAIN:
Ya damn skippy.
GUDGE:
This apology buys you a one-week
probationary period. Stay away from
the customers, MacSam.
INT. TUNNEL - NIGHT
Pancake is on his stomach, wearing goggles, boring a hole
into a rock face with a power drill.
INT. MUNSON HOUSE - CELLAR - NIGHT
We hear the whine of the drill faintly here, all but covered
by the sound of the chamber music on the boom box.
The other men sit around. Dorr gives a casual glance at his
watch as the whine subsides.
Pancake emerges from the tunnel covered with grime.
PANCAKE:
The drill bit's getting awfully hot.
Gawain, maybe you could fill a hudson
sprayer and spritz it down while I
drill.
GAWAIN:
F*** you, man, I ain't your house
n*gger. I'm the inside man!
PANCAKE:
Look, are you gonna have a bug up
your ass for the rest of the time we
work together?
LUMP:
I'll get the sprayer.
PANCAKE:
No no, me and this gentleman here
have to get square. Let me tell you
something, MacSam. You wanna know
something?
GAWAIN:
I don't wanna know sh*t from you.
Pancake leans against the wall and pushes his goggles up on
his forehead, leaving raccoon eyes.
PANCAKE:
I'm gonna tell you how I came down
to Mississippi. Wasn't born here,
you know. I'm from Scranton,
Pennsylvania...
Abruptly, he stares off into space.
PANCAKE:
...Nnnff!
GAWAIN:
Huh?
Pancake's eyes regain their focus:
PANCAKE:
...Scranton, Pennsylvania. Came down
here in 1964. Greyhound Bus. With
the Freedom Riders. You know who the
Freedom Riders were, MacSam?
GAWAIN:
I don't give a sh*t who they were.
Just tell me when they gonna leave.
PANCAKE:
The Freedom Riders, my fine young
man, were a group of concerned
liberals from up North -- whites,
Negros, and yes, Jewish people --
all working together, just like we
are here. Concerned citizens who
came down here so that local black
liberties. So that people like you
could have the vote.
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"The Ladykillers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ladykillers_891>.
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