The Laramie Project Page #6

- Are you out?

- Yes.

I wasn't out before, actually.

But I thought, "Probably they all know,

but I'm not gonna tell anyone."

In the long run,

your self-esteem just becomes sh*t...

...and I just couldn't live like that anymore.

A lot of people decided that

they didn't wanna hide anymore.

I still don't feel that free to be out here.

No one's asking, I'm not telling.

I've always been out and I know

how to take care of myself, but...

...since the episode,

I've been irrationally terrified...

...and what that means is, we don't let

our son walk around at night alone.

Every time I see a pickup truck do a U-turn,

I think it's coming after me...

...and I'm shaking so badly,

I have to stop what I'm doing.

I think it's because...

...somewhere inside,

we all know it could happen to us anytime.

Since our last medical update...

...Matthew Shepard has remained in

critical condition with severe head injuries.

As of today,

the hospital will no longer offer...

...medical updates on a scheduled basis.

If Matthew's medical condition changes...

...we will issue a new medical update...

...and we will immediately contact as many

members of the media as is possible.

Thank you.

All eyes are on laramie, Wyoming, today,

where many are turning their focus...

...to their homecoming parade...

...and the fortunes of the University

of Wyoming football team.

This apartment has windows

on two opposite streets.

One goes north and the other goes south.

That is exactly

the homecoming parade route.

On the day of the parade,

I had a cast on my leg because of a fall...

...and I was very disappointed because

I had heard that some students...

...were gonna be walking

for Matthew Shepard...

...and I wanted to join them, but I couldn't,

so I watched from that window.

It was just...

I'm 52 years old and I'm...

I'm gay.

I've lived here for many years

and I've seen a lot.

And I was very moved

when I saw the tag...

...at the end of the homecoming parade.

It was just a group of people walKing

behind a banner for Matthew Shepard.

But the parade,

it went down to the end of the block...

...made a U-turn around the block...

...and I came to the other side

of my apartment...

...to watch for it to come south

down this street.

Maybe 10 minutes went by.

And then I saw the most...

...incredible thing.

As the parade came down the street...

...the number of people marching

for Matthew Shepard...

...had grown, liKe, five times.

Can you imagine?

The tag at the end...

...was bigger than the entire parade.

I thought to myself:

"Thank God I got to see this

in my lifetime."

And my second thought was:

"Thank you, Matthew."

I really haven't been

all that involved, per se.

My husband's a highway patrolman.

That's the only way I've known about it.

But when I first found out...

...I just thought it was horrible.

I just...

I can't...

Nobody deserves that.

I don't care who you are.

But I have to tell you,

the media's portraying him as a saint.

They're making him out as a martyr,

and I don't think he was.

Did you know him?

No, I didn't know him...

...but there's so many things...

...I found about him, it's just scary.

About his character, and...

...spreading AIDS, and a few other things.

You know, being...

About the kind of person he was.

Meaning?

Well...

He was...

He was just...

...a barfly.

So, I think he...

...pushed himself on, around or,

I don't know. But I think he flaunted it.

Another thing that wasn't brought out.

Same time that happened, that patrolman

was killed and there was nothing.

They didn't say anything

about that old man that killed him.

He was driving down the road.

He shouldn't have been driving

and he killed him.

And there was just a little piece.

And we lost one of our guys.

You know, my husband worked with him.

This man was brand new on the force.

But, I mean, here's one of ours...

...and it was just a little piece in the paper.

But this was such a deliberate crime.

Everybody's got problems.

But why they're exemplifying

Matthew Shepard, I don't know.

A hate crime is a hate crime.

You murder somebody, you hate them.

It has nothing to do if you're a gay

or a prostitute or...

I don't know.

I don't understand.

I don't understand.

November 29, 1998. We're about

to interview Father Roger Schmit.

Here we go.

Two queers and a Catholic priest.

Matthew Shepard...

...has served us well.

You realize that? He has served us well.

I cannot mention anyone...

...who has done more for this community

than Matthew Shepard.

And I'm not gonna sit here and say,

"I was just this bold guy, no fear."

I was scared.

I was very vocal in this community

when this happened...

...so I thought,

"Should we call the Bishop...

"...and ask him permission to do the vigil?"

And I was like:

"Hell, no, I'm not going to do that.

"His permission doesn't make it correct."

And I'm not knocking bishops...

...but what is correct is correct.

You think violence is

what they did to Matthew?

They did do violence to Matthew.

But, you know...

Can I make this personal?

Yeah. Sure.

Every time you are called a fag...

...or you are called a lez or...

- Or a dyke.

- Dyke, yeah, dyke.

Do you realize that is violence?

That is the seed of violence.

I would resent it immensely

if you use anything I said to...

...somehow cultivate that kind of violence.

Well, thank you, Father, for saying that.

Just deal with what is true.

You know what is true.

You need to do your best to say it correct.

These people trust us, you know.

They want...

They want everyone to know

that they are not this crime.

And it's more than clearing laramie's

name, it's clearing their own, and...

...I don't know that we can do that.

Reverend?

- Reverend, hi.

- Yes?

I'm Amanda.

I'm with the theatre company...

...that's been speaking with people

here in laramie.

I see. Well, let me tell you...

...I don't know that I really want to talk

with anybody at all about this incident.

I'm somewhat involved,

and I really don't feel like it's appropriate.

I completely understand. I just wanted

to tell you, I went to your service.

- You went to the services?

- Yes, I did.

- On Sunday?

- Yes.

- Did I meet you?

- Briefly.

You welcomed us in the beginning.

I see.

I will tell you that I am involved.

Half the people in the case...

The girlfriend of the accused

is a member of our congregation...

...and one of the accused has visited.

Right.

I think they deserve the death penalty...

...but I will try

to deal with them spiritually.

As far as the victim...

...I know that that lifestyle is legal,

but I will tell you one thing.

I hope Matthew Shepard...

...as he was tied to that fence...

...that he had time to reflect

on a moment when...

...somebody had spoken

the Word of the lord to him...

...and that before he slipped into a coma...

...he had a chance to reflect on his lifestyle.

Thank you, Reverend,

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