The Last Days of Disco Page #6

is not a professional category.

Contrary to popular belief,

junior level ad jobs don't pay well at all.

I wish we were yuppies.

Young. Upwardly mobile. Professional.

- Those are good things, not bad things.

- Where are we going?

- Rex's.

- Oh, no.

- What's wrong with Rex's?

- Well, you can't dance there...

and it's full of boring preppies.

- Oh, and we're so interesting.

- You can dance at Rex's.

Yeah, but why Rex's?

Why not some other place?

Well, for one thing,

everyone at the club knows I go there.

So, when they come looking for me,

I want to be there.

Why would they come looking for you?

What happened tonight was a mistake, which,

even now, Bernie's probably very much regretting.

He's a smart guy.

Not without good qualities.

Even if very few.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's already

called Rex's to retract my dismissal.

How can you be so sure of that?

Well, I'm not sure of it.

Qpportunity

Whoa, opportunity

- Yeah, yeah, baby

- Opportunity

- Whoa, opportunity)

- Yeah, yeah

- Opportunity

- Hey.

- [Des] Hey, Rex.

- Welcome to Rex's.

Alice, you look like you've seen

the dark side of the moon. What did Tom say?

No. I feel much better.

I love your idea of social life as a group,

without all this ferocious pairing off.

I couldn't have stood being alone tonight.

[ Dan] We all went to Harvard,

but I didn't really know them there.

[Hmw]

Which house were you in?

I thought Bernie was smarter than that.

What a blunder.

When they do call,

we'll get you immediately.

Thanks, Rex.

- Rex is such a great guy.

- [Jimmy] Yeah.

Charlotte says she can tell if a guy

is gay or not just by looking in his eyes.

How?

Maybe it's related to

how they look at you.

It's hard to define,

but I think women can tell.

I can't.

Are Jimmy or I Gay?

Come on. Don't.

Jimmy. No.

Well, not your eyes,

but you do have a gay mouth.

A gay mouth? I have a gay mouth?

What does that mean?

- Just what I said.

- It's true, Des. Your mouth does look gay.

God, how moronic can you get?

What nonsense.

Don't think I don't know your whole act.

Excuse me?

Pretending to be gay to get sympathy

from women while cruelly dumping them.

And to seem cooler than you actually are.

I despise your whole pathetic act.

You're not fit to lick the boots

of my real gay friends.

Well, I don't want to lick the boots

of your real gay friends.

You know, I could be gay.

I see through you completely.

- Oh, you see through me completely?

- Yeah, I do.

- That's the dark side of feminism.

- [ Charlotte ] What?

You have a kind of free pass

to make any kind of...

wounding or derogatory comment

you want.

I am hardly a militant feminist.

No, you're not.

A militant feminist would be a lot fairer.

It is women like you whose attitudes

to men are so dehumanizing.

- Like what?

- That men are swine...

obsessed with large breasts

and the sex act...

devoid of any idealistic

or romantic sensibility...

when, in fact, we have that

idealistic sensibility in spades.

For instance, you have no idea what men

really think about women's breasts.

What do men think about women's breasts?

Well, it's not something

you just blur':
out.

It's far more complicated

and nuanced than that.

Okay. I'll tell you a story. When I was in college,

there was a girl I had a crush on...

who always had older boyfriends,

invariably some senior.

Finally, they all graduated and one night

we went back to her room alone.

Suddenly, her shirt was off

and I was confronted...

with these breasts

which turned out to be...

completely surprising

and, frankly, disconcerting.

They were rather large and-and...

not ugly or especially strange-shaped...

but in all the time

that I had thought about her...

these breasts had never figured.

She took off her shirt so quickly...

there was no time for adjustment.

And I sensed something arrogant about it...

as if her abrupt unveiling

of her largish breasts...

was somehow going to

slay my swinish male self...

as if I hadn't already been slayed

on a much higher level.

Spell on me

- Her name was Alice too.

- Oh, come on, Des. You know that's not true.

- What do you mean it isn't true?

- Her name wasn't Alice.

Well, I'm not gonna use her real name.

- Would-Would you like to dance?

- You got me doing funny things, like a clown

- Do you mind?

- Just a-look at me

When you wear your high-heel boots

with your hip-hugger suit

Huh, it's all right

You're out of sight;

If what's bothering you relates to Tom Platt,

I-l wouldn't take it personally.

Did you know Tom and Jennifer

had a trial separation...

- which was to end tonight?

- I can dig it, and I says oogum, oogum

What you might not know is that,

about a week ago...

they started seeing each other on the sly -

- cheating on their trial separation.

- I say oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum

How do you know that?

Working at the club,

you find out all kinds of things.

You know, this is the way people

used to dance in bars in the old days.

Did people ever really dance in bars?

I thought that was a myth.

People my older brother's age -

uh, they did.

Your brother must be a lot older.

Before disco, this country

was a dancing wasteland.

You know the Woodstock generation of the 1960s

that were so full of themselves and conceited?

- None of those people could dance.

- Huh.

That I'm crazy about you

Huh, now go on now

with your bad self

[ Alice ]

What happened with her?

I think she noticed

that for a moment I flinched.

She dropped me like a rock.

I was crushed.

- I'm hushed.

- [ Des] I couldn't take it. So, I dropped out...

and got in the nightclub business early.

Thanks to which

I probably owe my success today.

[ Charlotte ] Let's share a cab.

We Te thinking of going.

- You're all going?

- Yeah.

- Have they called yet from the club?

- I don't think they will call.

Bernie'll probably send some emissary.

That's more his style.

What should we do with the Oz costumes?

Just, uh, bring 'em by the club tomorrow?

Actually, those costumes are mine.

Just get 'em back to me when you can.

I thought we were here as a group.

You talked about the tremendous

importance of group social life.

- Well, it's really late.

- Yeah, Alice. It's getting really late.

- We'd better get going.

- Thanks again, Des.

- Ciao.

- [Des] Bye.

- [Jimmy] Bye. Night, Rex.

- All week Charlotte's been talking about...

the tremendous importance

of group social life...

opposing all this ferocious pairing off.

Well, group social life has its place...

but at a certain point,

other biological factors come into play.

Our bodies weren't really designed

for group social life.

A certain amount of pairing off

was always part of the original plan.

- God, I can't believe you'd say that.

- What?

- What did I say? - What you mean to say is that

they've all gone back to screw their brains out.

No, I didn't say that. I said they were

going to pair off. Well, wait. Don't go.

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