The Last House on the Left

MORTON:
So the next week,

he's even hornier,

but this time he's got

He goes back

to the whorehouse,

he slaps down a 20, tells

the madam he needs to get off

but he ain't gonna screw

no damn chicken this time.

She says it still ain't

much, but she can help.

She tells him to go to the

room at the top of the stairs.

This time, it's just a

bunch of guys jerking off.

But one of the jerk-off guys assures

him. You know, "It's cool, it's cool,"

and he waves him over

to this hole in the floor

that they're all

looking through.

Can we stop, please?

I really gotta take a piss.

F*** you.

So anyway, there's these two hot

lesbians and they're going at it.

(BELL RINGING)

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

(CHUCKLES)

What, are you praying now?

Oh, Lord, won't you grant me an

empty mayonnaise jar to piss in?

You know, Krug,

considering the rather notorious

nature of the prison you're headed to,

I think I'd pray for something

a little bit more substantial.

(COUGHS)

F***!

(GASPS)

FRANCIS:

Come on.

Here.

(EXHALES)

(MOANS)

- You okay?

- Yeah.

(GROANS)

Did I do good?

Tell me I did good!

Hit us a little harder next

time, Francis. Where's my kid?

He's fine.

(COUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(CHOKING)

What?

I can't understand you!

I think he's saying,

"Take my money".

Take the money, huh?

(PANTING)

I think he's dying now.

(CHOKING)

What do you think

he's seeing?

Something

he'll never see again.

(MORTON COUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

(SOFT YELP)

(PANTING)

Hi.

What's my time?

It's perfect, awesome.

Come on.

Hand it over.

Come on.

Let me see it.

It's great.

Mom, let me see.

Sweetheart, your time is perfect,

okay. It's time for vacation.

JOHN:
Tell the OR that

the compound fracture

to the left femur

is on its way up.

We're transfusing two units of O-Neg.

I want them to have plenty more on hand.

FEMALE NURSE:
Yes, Doctor.

- So, Mr. Hadley,

can you just

follow my finger?

Just like that. Excellent.

You're gonna be fine, okay?

We'll get you back on your

bike in no time. Let's go, guys.

I love that shirt,

by the way.

The color alone must've taken

a few minutes of your time.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Hey, Mary-Anne.

WOMAN:
Yeah?

Where's that head CTI ordered?

It's been half an hour.

EMMA:
He got a B-minus for the

semester, which is fantastic,

and I will be happy to write

him a letter of recommendation.

Yeah, if you need to get in touch

with me this summer, you have my cell.

Okay, have a great summer.

All right. Bye-bye.

That woman drives me nuts.

Okay, so are you on vacation

now or should I just make a U-ey?

(HIP-HOP PLAYING

SOFTLY ON RADIO)

(TURNS IT UP)

(CHUCKLES)

(JOHN SNORING)

Dad?

- Dad?

- Honey!

Yo, yo.

What's up, what's up?

(MARI AND EMMA LAUGHING)

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

Are we there yet?

We are making

the turn now.

Geez, you think somebody

would change that sign.

I kinda like it. It tells me

the turn's coming up.

My hydrangea

came back.

(EXHALES)

Place looks good.

Yeah. I'm sure inside

is a different story, but...

- Why?

- Yeah, why?

I didn't tell you?

Dan was up fishing last week.

No, Em, you didn't.

You let your brother stay here?

EMMA:
Yeah.

- Unsupervised?

Honey, don't worry. I made him promise

to sleep in the guest house. It's fine.

(SIGHS) So he and whoever he was with

trashed not one house but two, right?

Would you mind if...

I stayed in the guest house?

I promise

I won't trash it.

"Hey, kids,

have a drink on me.

"Thanks for letting me fish

the lake out. Love, Dan".

This is 4 dollar champagne.

So?

Be nice.

(BOAT ENGINE WHIRRING)

(SHOUTING)

Oh, sh*t.

(HAMMERING)

JOHN:
Jesus.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What the...

Microwave is broken?

I don't know

how he did it.

Oh, no. Honey, my brother

did not break the microwave.

You have

no evidence of that.

Hey, do you guys

need the car today?

(BANGS)

'Cause I was thinking maybe

I could meet up with Paige.

She said

she'd be working today.

Okay. But we just got here. I was

gonna cook supper and hangout and...

Well, maybe you guys could have

a nice dinner alone tonight?

Here you go.

Mom, are you sure?

No, I'm not sure, but... Dad

seems awfully sure about it.

I know that you haven't

seen Paige in a while. So...

Here. Have fun.

Whoa. Thanks, Dad.

All right.

Just promise, promise that you will

call me. Okay? That's all I'm asking.

- Okay, I will.

- All right?

- Love you.

- I love you.

Bye, babe.

- Bye, Dad. I'll see you guys later.

- Okay.

Please be careful.

PAIGE:
I don't know if you're

gonna be able to keep up...

with the fast pace of the town, but

we just got a new yogurt stand, so...

- Whoa, you think you can get us a table?

- Yeah.

You know, I got connections.

I could probably pull some strings.

(CHUCKLES)

- MAN:
How much do I owe you for this?

That is five twenty-five.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

Listen, Mari, I...

I couldn't believe it

when I heard about Ben.

I know.

I know I should have called you.

- I just figured...

- Paige, you're fine. It's...

Well...

- Okay, new subject.

- Yeah, yeah.

So, what do you feel

like doing tonight?

Do you...

Do you still smoke pot?

No, I don't really do

that stuff anymore.

Yeah, you're like

a big athlete now, or...

Hey.

Yeah, do you need

a basket for all that?

I don't think we've met.

What's your name?

(SOFTLY)

It's Justin.

Justin, I'm Paige.

And this is Mari.

Mari, this is Justin.

Justin, this is Mari.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Is that all for you?

Can I get

a pack of cigarettes?

Can I get some I D?

Can you just

give me a pass?

Justin, I would

if I ruled the world, but...

What if you help me

and I help you?

And how are you

gonna help me?

Look, you know, I've got some premium

grade-A sh*t back at the motel.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, you can

see it for yourself.

I mean, I overheard you guys

talking a second ago, so...

That's... uh,

thirteen twenty, right?

- Okay, from twenty. Here you go.

- Thanks.

Your turn.

(PAIGE EXCLAIMS)

PAIGE:
Here we are.

Very fancy, Justin.

- Left or right?

JUSTIN:
Left.

So, Mari, I'll just run in and grab it,

and then we can go back to my place.

My dad's not gonna be home

all night.

MARi:

Okay, five minutes.

All right,

I'll be two minutes.

(TURNS ON RADIO)

MAN ON RADIO:
Now it's weather and

traffic, and there's going to be...

big clusters of storms developing,

going into night time hours as well...

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

(KEYS JINGLING)

(GASPS)

- Sorry, so sorry, ma'am.

- It's, uh...

This belong you?

No. No, sorry.

What the hell,

you guys?

Mari, Justin was not kidding.

This is really good sh*t.

Clearly.

So how long were you gonna

let me sit out there?

Here. Have some.

Paige, we just had

this conversation.

Come on.

She's a little outta practice.

Take it.

- I'm just sitting on the bed.

- One joint won't hurt you. Take it.

(COUGHING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hold on.

Hello, Mom?

Hey, Mari, you were supposed

to call me an hour ago.

I know. I'm sorry.

There's a storm coming in.

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